I wasn’t ready to let go of her yet, so I kept my arm around her for the ride to Pei Wei. She didn’t seem to mind, and even leaned against me in the car while I conceded to share a number-four meal with her.
As soon as we found a booth, I unloaded my coat beside Abby and went to the bathroom. It was weird how everyone was pretending I hadn’t just pummeled someone a few hours ago, like nothing had happened. My hands formed a cup under the water, and I splashed my face, looking into the mirror. The water dripped from my nose and chin. Once again, I was going to have to swallow the dysphoria and go along with everyone else’s fake mood. As if we had to keep up pretenses to help Abby move through reality in her little bubble of ignorance where no one felt anything too strongly, and everything was cut-and-dried.
“Damn it! The food’s not here yet?” I asked, sliding into the booth next to Abby. Her phone lay on the table, so I picked it up, turned on the camera, made a stupid face, and snapped a picture.
“What the hell are you doing?” Abby said with a giggle.
I searched for my name, and then attached the picture. “So you’ll remember how much you adore me when I call.”
“Or what a dork you are,” America said.
America and Shepley talked most of the time about their classes and the latest gossip, taking care not to mention anyone involved in the scuffle earlier.
Abby watched them talk with her chin rested on her fist, smiling and effortlessly beautiful. Her fingers were tiny, and I caught myself noticing how naked her ring finger looked. She glanced over at me and leaned over to playfully shove me with her shoulder. She then righted herself, continuing to listen to America’s chatter.
We laughed and joked until the restaurant closed, and then crowded into the Charger to head home. I felt exhausted, and even though the day seemed long as hell, I didn’t want it to end.
Shepley carried America up the stairs on his back, but I stayed behind, tugging on Abby’s arm. I watched our friends until they went into the apartment, and then fidgeted with Abby’s hands in mine. “I owe you an apology for today, so I’m sorry.”
“You’ve already apologized. It’s fine.”
“No, I apologized for Parker. I don’t want you thinking I’m some psycho that goes around attacking people over the tiniest thing,” I said, “but I owe you an apology because I didn’t defend you for the right reason.”
“And that would be . . . ,” she prompted.
“I lunged at him because he said he wanted to be next in line, not because he was teasing you.”
“Insinuating there is a line is plenty reason for you to defend me, Trav.”
“That’s my point. I was pissed because I took that as him wanting to sleep with you.”
Abby thought for a moment, and then grabbed the sides of my shirt. She pressed her forehead against my T-shirt, into my chest. “You know what? I don’t care,” she said, looking up at me with a smile. “I don’t care what people are saying, or that you lost your temper, or why you messed up Chris’s face. The last thing I want is a bad reputation, but I’m tired of explaining our friendship to everyone. To hell with ’em.”
The corners of my mouth turned up. “Our friendship? Sometimes I wonder if you listen to me at all.”
“What do you mean?”
The bubble she surrounded herself with was impenetrable, and I wondered what would happen if I ever did make it through. “Let’s go in. I’m tired.”
She nodded, and we walked together up the stairs, and into the apartment. America and Shepley were already murmuring happily in their bedroom, and Abby disappeared into the bathroom. The pipes shrieked, and then the water in the shower beat against the tile.
Toto kept me company while I waited. She didn’t waste time; her nightly routine was complete within the hour.
She lay on the bed, her wet hair resting on my arm. She breathed out a long, relaxing breath. “Just two weeks left. What are you going to do for drama when I move back to Morgan?”
“I don’t know,” I said. I didn’t want to think about it.
“Hey.” She touched my arm. “I was kidding.”
I willed my body to relax against the mattress, reminding myself that for the moment, she was still next to me. It didn’t work. Nothing worked. I needed her in my arms. Enough time had been wasted. “Do you trust me, Pidge?” I asked, a little nervous.
“Yeah, why?”
“C’mere,” I said, pulling her against me. I waited for her to protest, but she only froze for a few moments before letting her body melt into mine. Her cheek relaxed against my chest.
Instantly, my eyes felt heavy. Tomorrow I would try to think of a way to postpone her departure, but in that moment, sleeping with her in my arms was the only thing I wanted to do.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Tomorrow