“He does, and he is. He’s more than I ever hoped to dream possible.”
“Then trust him, April. Trust him to know how to be what you need. But he’s not a mind reader. He can’t know what you’re thinking if you don’t tell him.”
“It’s strange to be called April after all this time.”
“Do you prefer Natalie?”
“I’m not sure what I prefer. It’s weird to be talking about April when I’ve been Natalie for so long now.”
“I’d just like to say that as much as I hate how it happened, I’m so glad to know you’re doing well in your new life. I’ve wondered about you for years and hoped I’d hear from you.”
“I should’ve checked in. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. You were off living your life, and all your hard work with me made that possible.”
“Would it be okay if I checked in from time to time?”
“It would be absolutely fine. I’ll always be happy to hear from you.”
“Thank you again. I’m not being dramatic when I say you saved my life.”
“No, April… You saved your own life. I only helped. Your inner strength got you through before, and it will again. Don’t be afraid to rely on it.”
“I won’t. I’ll call again soon.”
“I’ll look forward to it. Take care, and talk to your husband.”
“I will. Thanks again.”
I end the call feeling more confident that I can handle the conversation I need to have with Flynn.
Chapter 17
Arriving at the Quantum offices, I pull into a parking space and sit for a moment, the engine in the Mercedes idling as I think about what Natalie told me. She’s going to get her job back, which means she’ll return to New York while I have to be here for the next couple of months.
If the thought of a single day without her in it is unbearable, how will I ever stand to have her in New York for weeks on end while I’m here? I could go to New York with her, and I probably will if it comes to that, but I’d rather be here.
I hate the way life is interfering with my desire to be completely alone with my new wife. And then I call bullshit on myself. I can do whatever the fuck I want to, so why am I not doing whatever the fuck I want to?
With my security detail following close behind, I head into the office, which is abuzz with activity. Everyone is still ecstatic about the SAG Awards as well as the Oscar nominations for Camouflage, especially after all the campaigning that was done to ensure the film got the recognition it deserves from the Academy. For the most part, I’ve stayed out of that fray, letting others do the heavy lifting. The idea of campaigning for awards has never sat well with me, but it’s a necessary evil in our world.
After accepting congratulations for the SAGs from everyone I see along the way, I head for Hayden’s office, where I’m told he’s in the editing room. I take the elevator up one floor. I find him in the dark, staring at two huge monitors, headphones on. I tap his shoulder to get his attention.
He pauses the video and removes the headphones. “Look what the cat dragged in. It’s my long-lost partner in crime who is now an Oscar nominee. Congrats again.”
“Same to you, and I apologize for everything I’ve done to piss you off in the last few weeks.”
“Well, that fixes it. Thanks.”
The sarcasm isn’t lost on me. “I am sorry, Hayden. I know I picked a hell of a time to punch out on you.”
He shrugs. “Shit happens. I get that. Are you back now?”
“Sort of.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means I need a break. I need some real time off. I’ve been working nonstop for years, and I’m burned-out.”
After a long pause, he says, “Maybe you could, at the very least, be honest about why you want to take time off. You’re not burned-out. You don’t get burned-out. You want to spend time with your new wife. Why not call a spade a spade?”
“Fine. You’re right. But call me crazy if I’m not willing to talk to you about her when you’ve made your feelings where she’s concerned very clear.”
“I have no bad feelings toward her. I barely know her. My feelings, as you call them, have been toward you, not her.”
Sighing, I take a seat next to him. “I hate having this shit between us.”
“As do I.”
“Look, I know I’ve dropped the ball with work and left you to deal with things on your own, and I’m sorry about that. This whole thing with Natalie… It just… happened. And then it blew up in our faces. I had to be with her during all of that, Hayden.”
“Of course you did, but did you have to marry her?”
“I did that because I wanted to. Not for any other reason.”
“You gotta see this from my side, Flynn. I’ve known you all my life, and I’ve never seen you like this before. It’s… It’s unsettling.”
“It’s love.”
“So you say.”
“I understand that it’s difficult for you to watch me do things that seem out of character to you.”