Until Jax

“I don’t think that makes me feel any better,” I say as my anxiety begins to increase. I hate what happened last night, but I don’t think there is any other way for this to go. I just don’t think Mellissa’s dad should be punished, just because Mellissa is evil.

“If you’re talking about Mellissa, we’re not talking about her today,” Jax says, coming up and wrapping his arm around my waist. “We’re taking Hope to the park and out for pizza. We’re not going to discuss Mellissa, or even think about her,” he states firmly, giving my waist a squeeze while looking pointedly at his mom.

“When did you turn into your dad?” she asks him softly, shaking her head.

“Mom, don’t get all mushy on me right now, okay?”

“I’m not getting mushy,” she mutters, swiping under her eyes, but I can tell she was totally going into mushy mommy mode.

“Jesus,” he grumbles, releasing me and taking his mom into his arms, giving her a hug, and a kiss on the top of her head.

“Here’s your cockporn ball, Mama,” Hope says happily, coming over to me, carrying a large, unwrapped, oddly shaped popcorn ball and handing it to me, causing the candy coating to stick to my hand. “I love cockporn balls,” she tells me, licking the palm of her hand that is covered in candy.

“Angel baby,” I say softly, getting down to her level and taking her candy-covered hand into mine so she will focus on me.

“It’s popcorn,” I tell her slowly. I have no idea where she got the whole cockporn thing, but that is definitely not something I want her saying in public, or ever, for that matter. I can just see us going to a movie and her yelling, ‘I want COCKPORN!’ at the top of her lungs in the middle of a packed theater.

“I know, cockporn.” She nods, licking her palm again.

“No, Angel. POPcorn,” I tell her, pronouncing each syllable.

“COCKporn,” she says slowly back, like I’m deaf, and then places her hands on her hips.

“Oh, geez,” I mutter, giving up, looking at Lilly, who is fighting laughter, and ask her, “Do you have a bag for this?” while holding my hand upside down, showing the ball is stuck to my palm and now looks like a penis and balls.

“I do.” She giggles then looks at Jax, who is looking at Hope like she’s the cutest thing in the whole wide world. It’s as if he missed everything that just happened and the fact she’s saying cockporn.

“Do you want to go to the park, sweetheart?” he asks her, picking her up.

“Yes! Can you push me on the swing?”

“Sure, and after the park, we can go have pizza for dinner.”

“Can we have fwozen yogut?” she asks, looking at him and batting her lashes. His eyes come to me, and all I can do is roll mine. She has him wrapped around her tiny little finger, and she knows it too.

“If you eat all your dinner, then yes,” he tells her as I head to the kitchen, where I find Lilly wrapping up popcorn balls with saran wrap.

“Thank you for keeping Hope,” I tell her, walking over to the sink and washing the sticky mess off of my hands.

“We love her, and you, though you should know she has been talking nonstop about getting a sister.”

Shaking my head, I pull a paper towel off the roll then take a seat next to her and start helping her wrap the remaining popcorn balls.

“Ever since I told her Jax and I were dating, she has been asking me that everyday.”

“We wouldn’t be upset about that. I mean, you guys have lots of time to date and get to know each other, but when you do have more babies, you can always depend on us to babysit.”

“Thanks,” I tell her, feeling awkward. Jax and I are still so new. Even if I feel like I have known him forever, the truth is we still have so much to learn about each other, and I want to wait for more kids.

“Did you hear me?”

Focusing on Lilly, I shake my head then murmur, “Sorry, no.”