I shook my head. “No. Well…actually, yes, I can’t believe you’re still a virgin at your age…it’s embarrassing, really.” He frowned, and I quickly got my motivational speech back on track. “The only thing you’re lacking is confidence. You need to realize that you’ve got talent, and that the world is your playground. You need to own this shit. You’re about to be a fucking rock star, after all.”
Liam gave me a slow smile, and I felt my own confidence bolstering. How had I forgotten how awesome I was? I was so worried about impressing the guys and getting my job back, but really it was always mine. I just needed to reach out and take it…which was exactly what I was going to do.
Liam nodded, like he was having the same thoughts. Then he frowned. “But what if I don’t make the cut.”
I smacked him across the back of the head. “Rock stars don’t fucking worry about making the cut. Rock stars don’t worry about anything. When you’re onstage, you’re a god and nothing can touch you. Understand me?”
I held his gaze until he nodded and gave me a smile worthy of the name Hancock. Oh yeah, we had this in the bag.
The killer smile on Liam’s face faltered some when his name was called. Mine didn’t though, I knew he would make it. I gave him a thumbs-up, then helped shove him out of his seat before his nerves made him permanently a part of the chair. He looked like he was about to throw up as he stepped through the doors. I wouldn’t know his fate until after my turn. The group waiting wasn’t allowed to know who had made the cut and who hadn’t. The winners went somewhere else, the losers too. So, when I was the last man standing in the room, I was completely clueless as to whether or not the twenty yeses had already happened, and my confident smile faltered some.
As I bounced my knees and picked at a callus on my hand, I ignored my own advice and began to worry. What if the guys were still mad about how I’d left and they held me back out of spite? No, Matt had said they’d give me a fair shake. That meant no advantage over anyone else, but no disadvantage too. And I was good at my job. That much, I’d never doubted.
I shifted my thoughts to Anna and the girls—my rocks. I still couldn’t believe they were here. It felt like a dream, knowing they were right in the next room. A part of me wanted to open the door and kiss Anna again, maybe sneak her inside so she could wait with me, but I didn’t want to do anything that might disqualify me. I settled on texting her instead. I tried to think of something sweet and flowery, something Kellan would send Kiera. That shit didn’t come easy to me though. Mainly, I thought that crap was ridiculous. But I knew Anna would like it, and I wanted to please her, so I did my best.
Hey, babe. Thank you for being here. Seeing you and the girls made my night. I feel like I can lose now, and I’ll still win. I was proud of myself when I hit send. See, I can do sappy, I thought.
Apparently, Anna could too. Her response was, You’re a star. Always have been, always will be.
Not able to help myself, I typed back, Your tits look amazing in that top.
Proving that she was the exact right woman for me, she texted back, You should see what they look like without it.
Jesus. I started getting hard just thinking about it. I hadn’t had an orgasm in so long, I almost forgot what they felt like. Hopefully that was something I was could rectify soon. But first…
“Griffin Hancock?” I looked over to see a PA standing in the doorway that led to the judges’ room. “They’re ready for you.”
My palms instantly got so clammy, it was like I’d stepped into a sauna. The rest of my body was sticky and sweaty too, and I had an almost uncontrollable urge to hop in a shower before I walked through those doors. There was no time though. This was my now-or-never moment.
My heart was pounding in my ears as I stood up, and all of my words of wisdom to Liam failed me. What if they say no? was vibrating through my brain. What if I don’t even make the show? A voice buried deep inside was screaming at me to listen to it, but my doubts were roaring so loud, the shrill words were hard to hear. It took a lot of self-control, but I silenced the fear so I could listen to the spark of hope trying to break out. And when the rumble of discontent was quieted to a gurgle, I finally heard it.
You are a fucking rock star. Own this shit.
Following the PA, I burst through the double doors like I was greeting the adoring fans back at Pete’s. I am the walrus.
The hallway to the judges’ room was dramatically lit up with giant spotlights shining down on the floor, and a camera guy on the far end was filming every step of my walk toward victory. Keeping my chin up, I ignored the man who was hoping to see me crack. I wasn’t going to crack.
The door to the judges’ room was opened for me, and I strolled right to the table. When I got in front of Matt, Evan, and Kellan, I stood with my feet slightly apart and my hands clasped behind my back—a position of confidence, but also a position of respect. I wanted them to see I’d changed.