Needing to get my mind off how much I wanted to kiss her all over, how soft her skin was and how good she tasted, I said, “We only ever seem to talk about my shit. Tell me what you’ve been up to. I want to know every little detail.”
“Really? You do?” She seemed genuinely surprised that I wanted to hear about her life. Was I that self-absorbed that it was shocking for me to care about anybody else? With a ripple of shame, I realized I was…I don’t think I’d ever asked her about her day before.
Sitting back in my chair, I made myself comfortable. “Yes, I want to know everything about you. And then I want to hear everything about the girls. And if I interrupt to start talking about myself, I want you to tell me to shut the hell up so you can finish.”
Anna was silent for a moment, then she said, “All right. Well, when I first got here, I lived with Kiera and Kellan, but, they live soooooooo far from town, I couldn’t take it.” Her assessment made me laugh; I often felt the same way about Kellan’s house. With a giggle, she continued. “So I left their place and got an apartment for me and the girls near work…Oh, I got my old job back at Hooters. Actually, I got a better job. I’m the assistant manager.”
Pride swelled in me. “That’s amazing, babe. Tell me more.”
And she did. For the rest of the night, she told me all about her life without me, but instead of it making me sad or mad, like I thought it might, I was thrilled. I felt like I knew my wife better, like I was getting a sneak peek into her hopes and dreams. Dreams she’d put on hold to be a mother and a rock star’s wife. Hearing her talk just reminded me how much I loved her, and I ended the phone call with a sentiment I never would have used before.
“Have a good day tomorrow, Anna. And remember…I love you.”
When she spoke, her voice trembled. “I love you too.”
There was a pit of dread in my stomach when I woke up the next morning. Pushing it aside, I texted my wife. Thank you for last night. It was amazing. It was weird to be texting something like that when we hadn’t done anything even remotely sexual, but it was true. We’d screwed each other in every conceivable way, but I’d never felt closer to her than listening to her talk last night. Her voice was still playing through my mind. And I knew that made me sound like a fucking whipped pansy, but I didn’t care. I was in love with my best friend, and once this show was over with, win or lose, I was going up north to be with her. Nothing else mattered.
Anna texted me back while I was getting dressed. Yes, it was! I saw your audition on TV last night. What you said, it was very touching.
It made me smile that she’d seen my message to her. Of course, I’d been too emotional to finish it on air, but I had a feeling that just made it even more powerful. I’m glad you saw it. It was hard to say.
I know, she texted back. Good luck today. I love you.
A weird feeling went through me, but I immediately shoved it back and texted, I love you too. It was still odd for me to say, but I knew Anna needed to hear it, and really, however I could make her happy right now was worth it.
Putting my phone in my pocket, I left my room and made my way downstairs to where the rest of the remaining contestants were gathering.
Everywhere I turned, I was given high fives, brief hugs, and well wishes. Even though we were all in a competition, we supported each other. We’d become a strange sort of family, bound together by one common goal—survive to the next round. Today was going to be brutal though, and as I hugged people back and offered my own words of encouragement, I knew almost everyone around me would be going home today. Hopefully, I wasn’t one of them.
There was one final round of cuts this afternoon as the crowd was culled to less than half of what it was now, then the final twenty would be chosen tonight. To say I was nervous would be an understatement.
When Liam came down to join the group, he looked as anxious as I felt. After giving him a hug, I looked him in the eye. “You all right?”
Looking green, he said, “I just threw up on a plant in the hallway. And I don’t think I’m done…” He put a hand on his stomach.
Laughing, I told him, “It’s okay to be nervous, just don’t let it lock you up. Be loose and easy up there, and you’ll do fine.”
A group nearby had heard me, and they came closer. “You know what they’re looking for, since you were one of them for a long time…You got any tips for us?” Their spokesperson was a man named Cruz. He was doing really well from all I’d seen, shredding whatever piece of music they gave him.
“Just keep doing what you’ve been doing. You’re killing it.” I smacked his shoulder in encouragement, a little surprised at myself that I was honestly hoping for him. And Liam. If only we could all be D-Bags.