Since I felt like I’d been wallowing in mud ever since Anna left, crawling through it sounded easy.
I smiled at Kiera in appreciation, then gave her a small nod so she would know I understood what she was saying. “Thank you. Thank you for coming all the way down here to check on me and to tell me that. You don’t know how much I appreciate it.” Kindness and compassion of any sort was a rare commodity, something to be cherished. I understood that now.
As she looked me over, her expression turned sad. I must sound really pathetic, like a completely different person. I supposed I was. In a soft, compassionate voice, she said, “I’m sure you and Anna can fix this. She’s crazy about you.”
And I’m crazy about her. “I hope so,” I told her, looking away. Something occurred to me, and I returned my eyes to her. “Do the guys know you’re here? Telling me this?” Did they want me to audition?
Kiera shrugged. “Kellan knows. He’s the one who booked my ticket.” She winked, then she sighed. “I don’t think he’s telling the others though. He doesn’t want to put any pressure on you.”
I nodded. That was nice of him. Not surprising…Kellan was a good guy. “Thanks. Does…does Anna know you’re here?”
Kiera paused, then shook her head. “No. I didn’t tell her. She’s living on her own now, did you know that?” When I shook my head, she sighed. “Yeah, she got an apartment for her and the girls, and she got her old job back at Hooters. I told her she could stay with us for as long as she needed, but she wants to make it on her own. She’s stubborn like that.” She laughed.
I smiled. “Yeah…we have that in common.”
The waitress arrived with Kiera’s food, and she grinned as she looked down at her bacon and eggs. She was a couple of forkfuls into it before the waitress even left. Her appetite made me grin, even though it painfully reminded me of Anna’s pregnancy cravings.
“Hey, Kiera,” I said, swirling a spoon in my untouched coffee. When she looked up at me, I cringed. “Please don’t tell Anna about this.” I indicated my dirty, scrubby, beat-up look. Kiera seemed about to protest, but I cut her off. “I’m serious. I don’t want her worrying about me.”
Kiera thought about that for a minute, then nodded. To ease her mind, I added, “I’m gonna be fine, Kiera, no need to worry.” And for the first time in a long time, I actually believed that.
Chapter 23
What to Do?
When Kiera and I got back home, I offered her my bedroom for the night. With lips curled in distaste, she started to say no, but then she looked around my room with wide, disbelieving eyes. Almost instantly, they started to water, and it wasn’t long before she was wiping tears off her cheeks. I didn’t comment on it, but I was pretty sure I knew why she was starting to get so emotional. Being here kind of did that to me too.
Some time ago, I’d turned the room into a shrine of my family. I’d ransacked the house for every photo Mom had of Anna and the girls. She had quite a few, and now every wall was covered in four-by-six glossies of the moments in time Mom had captured. There were some of Anna and me before the kids, when we’d visited my parents while I’d been in L.A. recording the band’s very first album. That was the first time Anna and my parents had officially met, although they had already known about her, since I had talked about her all the damn time. Anna had been pregnant with Gibson in those photos, and there was such an aura of contentment around her that she almost glowed in every shot. Damn. My wife was so fucking beautiful.
There were pictures from the party my parents had had for us after we’d eloped. Gibson was a tiny little thing in those shots. Anna was in a fancy dress; she looked like a princess. A sultry, seductive, smoking-hot princess. There was one of Anna looking down at Gibson on her lap that choked me up every time I looked at it. I tried to avoid staring at that one for too long.