“It was amazing, Daw. You should have seen the people at this thing. I talked to a guy that came there all the way from Florence, Italy. He flew there just for the meet.”
“He wasn’t cute was he?”
I laughed at his jealousy. “No. I promise. He wasn’t cute. We have twenty four new catalogues to go through.”
“You didn’t buy anything to have shipped back home?”
“No. Star wanted to, but I talked her out of it. It’ll be much cheaper to order and have it sent direct from the wholesalers then to have it shipped from here.”
“Have I told you how much I loved you today?”
“No. I haven’t talked to you today, silly.”
“I love you more than the stars, the sun, the moon, the ocean, the air…”
I laughed before I cut him off. “Okay. I get it, and I love you too, but Star just got out of the shower, and I desperately need it.”
“So you don’t love me as much as a shower.”
“I do, just not right at the moment. Do you have any idea how hot it is in Las Vegas in July?”
“Nope. Never been there. How hot?”
“It was a hundred and five today. That is ridiculously hot, and I have enough sweat on me to water a house plant.”
“Ewe. That’s kind of gross. You better go shower.
I love you.”
“I love you too, Dawson.”
Starlight and I spent our evening looking at the many products and dog earing pages of the catalogues. We didn’t eat any supper. We had both eaten so much at the meet that neither of us was hungry.
I crawled into bed first, and Starlight gave me two of the little pills. I took them with a smile, hoping I didn’t wake her with one of my episodes.
“Where did you grow up?” Starlight asked as we both lay down in our side by side beds.
How much should I tell her? Should I lie and say that I grew up in Indiana? It wasn’t that I didn’t trust her. I was just afraid. Afraid of what, I wasn’t sure.
“Pennsylvania.” I lied. It was somewhat in the same vicinity.
“Do you have any siblings?”
I didn’t want to have this conversation. I had an awesome day, and I wanted to fall asleep thinking about all the neat things that we would soon have in the shop.
“I have a brother,” I said, yawning a fake yawn, hoping she took the hint.
She didn’t.
“How long were you married?”
Did I tell her that I had been married? I didn’t remember telling her that. I was afraid to lie. Did Lauren or Dawson tell her that I had been married?”
“Six years,” I told the truth.
“Ry, I’m here if you need to talk,” Star said, sensing my apprehension.
“I’m fine. I would rather let the past stay in the past.”
“Okay, but just so you know, I’m a pretty good listener and an even better secret keeper,” she smiled.
I did dream that night. Maybe it was her asking about my upbringing, but for the first time I dreamt about my mother. At least I didn’t wake up screaming bloody murder, and I didn’t think that I had talked in my sleep.
I should have known that morning that something was up. My mom never told me to come to the truck stop and eat after school. I wasn’t allowed to be in there. She couldn’t flirt with all of the truckers if I was there, and she sure wasn’t going to use her tip money to buy me supper. I didn’t have that kind of mother. I had a mother who I knew didn’t stay loyal to my dad, not that he ever did either.
I cautiously wandered into the dive and sat at the bar with my mom. She wasn’t working at all, and she wasn’t wearing her ugly green polo uniform shirt. She patted the red plastic barstool beside of her.
“Order anything you want,” she offered.
I did. I ordered a chocolate milk shake, cheeseburger and fries. I felt guilty for eating the food and even more so the milk shake. I knew Justin would have loved to have had a milk shake.
“I’m not coming home tonight, Morgan,” my mom explained while I ate my glorious meal.
“Where you going?” I asked around the cheeseburger in my mouth.
“I am moving away from here. I can’t stay with your dad anymore. It’s not healthy for any of us.”
“We’re taking Justin too, aren’t we?” I asked, not understanding what she was trying to say.
“I need you to stay and take care of Justin for me.”
“You’re not taking us with you?”
“I can’t, Morgan. Some day you will understand. I promise.”
I turned when I heard the well-dressed man clear his throat beside of her.
“I have to go, Morgan. You take care of your brother for a while for me, okay?”
“Just for a while? And then you’re coming for us?”
“I won’t be coming for you, but you will be eighteen soon. You’ll leave this place too.”
She didn’t hug me, didn’t kiss me, and only patted my knee.
“I love you. Finish your food and head home before your dad gets home.”
That was how my mother said goodbye.