I lay on my side watching Starlight’s breathing moving up and down under her covers.
It reminded me of Drew when he on occasion stayed in my room. I would stay as far away from him as I could, staring at him breathe just like Star was doing. I waited for it. I wanted him to fall asleep. I would rather it not have been in bed with me, but when his breathing changed I knew he was asleep.
That was the first night that I didn’t remember what I dreamed. I knew that it must have been bad though. I woke to Star on the side of my bed shaking me and yelling my name.
I startled her as much as she startled me when I screamed and jumped to the top corner of the bed. My hair was drenched from sweat and my damp nightshirt stuck to my body. My breathing was erratic, and I was sucking in air that wasn’t available.
“Jesus, Riley.” Starlight exclaimed with wide eyes.
“I’m sorry,” I apologized once I realized where I was.
I got up and went to the bathroom. I splashed cold water on my face and the back of my neck.
I hung out in the small hotel bathroom as long as I could, hoping that she would go back to sleep. She didn’t. She had a smile, a cup of water and two little pills waiting on me.
“Here, take these. It’ll help,” she said warmly.
“What is it?” I asked, taking the pills. I didn’t really care what they were. I would take anything if it would help. Her relaxing tea sure the hell didn’t work. It helped me fall asleep but didn’t keep me asleep.
“Just Melatonin. It’s all natural, and will help regulate your sleep and your wake cycle.”
I already knew that the two little pills were all natural. Starlight wouldn’t dare put anything with chemicals in her body.
“Do you want to talk about it?” she smiled.
Of course, I didn’t want to talk to her about how fucked up I was. “What did I say?” I asked. That’s what I wanted to know. I wanted to know how much I said. I wondered had the alcohol kept me from remembering what I had dreamt. I always knew what I dreamed about. They were too real not to remember.
“I’m not really sure what you were saying. It was mostly muffled. Are you okay now?”
She lied. I nodded and lay down.
I did sleep the rest of the night or morning I should say. I finally dozed back off, freaked out about what I had said and wondering what it was that I had dreamt about.
I was woken early. Starlight was in the shower, and I heard the two little dings from her cellphone. I sat up and nosily slid open her screen on the night stand between our beds.
It was from Dawson.
“Sorry, was on phone. Is she okay now?” It read.
I couldn’t help it. I had to see what she had said to him. I could still hear the shower running, so I had time. I went to the first message so that I could read the conversation in order.
“Dawson…What the hell? You need to give me some answers about Riley.”
“What do you mean?”
“I think that is a dumb question, and you already know what I mean. She woke up screaming, drenched in sweat during the night, and the things that she was saying were horrific. Don’t tell me you sleep with her every night and don’t know what I am talking about.”
“I know what you’re talking about, but I promised her that I would keep it to myself. I can’t Star.”
That made me feel good. He was being loyal to me.
“I think she needs help, Dawson.”
“She does, but she won’t get it.”
“If it’s the money, I would gladly help her out.”
“It’s not. She doesn’t want anyone to know where she came from. Please just let it go. I am afraid that she will run, and I don’t want her to do that. I love her.”
That made me smile again.
“We’re here for two more nights. What do I do?”
“You can do what I do. Hold her and kiss her beautiful lips and tell her that you love her, lol,”
I smiled again.
“You’re an ass. This isn’t funny. I’m a little blown away here.”
“Relax Star, she’s fine. If she does it again tonight just talk her down. She’s not going to do anything crazy if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“I’m worried about her.”
That was the last message and I quickly laid her phone down and crawled back into bed when I heard the shower shut off.
I stretched and pretended that I had just woken.
“Good morning, hungry?” Star asked with her carefree smile.
“Yeah, I could eat, but I need a shower.”
“Go. Get a shower. We have a busy day. I can’t wait until you see these vendors today. It’s epic.”
I smiled at her enthusiasm for the hippy festival.