“Ry?” he said, trying to figure out whether or not I was coherent or still back in time.
I was not with Drew, nor was I coherent. It was all still fresh and raw, and I did need sexually stimulated right that moment. I knew what I was doing. I knew that I begged him to spank me, and to give it to me in the ass, and to put his dick in my mouth.
Dawson straddled my waist and held down on both of my shoulders, looking me straight in the eyes.
“I am not doing any of those things to you, Riley.
You are not that person, and I am never going to treat you like you are. You don’t deserve that and I refuse to be that person for you,” he demanded.
I am not sure whether it was because I was so sexually frustrated or if it was the way that Dawson handled me, but I had the most unbelievable orgasm of my life that night. Dawson made slow passionate love to me, kissing me deeply and whispering that he loved me to my lips, over and over. When I would lose myself and venture back to Drew, he would stop until I was back, right there with him. When I came, it was mind blowing over the top, and I called out and writhed beneath him in much needed pleasure.
“Why do you put up with me?” I asked, nestled to his chest.
“Because I love you, go to sleep,” he said to the back of my hair with a tone that I wasn’t used to from him.
Dawson was up and sitting at the table with an almost angry look when I woke to join him the next morning.
I poured a cup of coffee and joined him.
“Good morning,” I said, trying to read his mood.
“I need answers, Ry,” he commanded.
“What are you talking about, sheriff?” I asked with a smile, trying to lighten his mood.
“I am talking about these nightmares that you have.
They are either about your little brother or about sex. I want to know what happened to you. I want to know who Drew is.”
I looked down. I wasn’t going to answer either of those questions. I was too embarrassed to tell him what I had done or where I came from. I would never explain how Drew bought and paid for me to be his sex slave. I couldn’t, and if that meant it would send him running for the hills, then so be it.
“Riley, please talk to me,” he pleaded.
“I can’t, Dawson,” I said, quietly looking up to him, hoping that he understood. He didn’t. He took a deep breath and got up.
“How about you call me when you can,” he said, angry.
“Fuck you. I have been threatened enough in my life. I am not going to be threatened by you,” I spouted off before even thinking.
He walked back to me after sliding on his shoes.
“Baby, I am not threatening you. I am just at my wit’s end with you. Why won’t you talk to me and let me help you?”
“You can’t help me, Dawson,” I sadly said and kept my eyes down. He kissed the top of my head and retreated with a heavy sigh.
I drove to work and knew that I had to break it off with Dawson. I was never going to trust him or anyone else. I was never going to let him in as far as he wanted, and I was never not going to be fucked up. There was nothing that I could do about that and I didn’t want to hurt him. It was best that I let him go. I hated myself as I unlocked the door to the shop, wishing that I would have never started anything with Dawson. Lauren and I were doing just fine without adding Dawson to the picture.
Starlight talked excitedly about Las Vegas and her friends that she couldn’t wait for me to meet. She could tell that I wasn’t really there, nor was I paying much attention. My mind was on Dawson and my terrified state about going to Las Vegas. I should have just told her no.
That would have been nice, had I ever been allowed to say no, I might have done just that. I couldn’t go there.
What the hell was I thinking?
I ignored three calls from Dawson, and when he stopped by in the afternoon, I made myself busy with a couple looking at the aroma therapy oils, explaining the difference. He was working and couldn’t hang around, waiting on me.
He text a while later and asked me if I was not talking to him. I text him back and told him honestly that no, I was not talking to him, and I wanted to end things with him. I thanked him for being so patient with me and explained that I didn’t expect him to hang around waiting for me to miraculously be normal. I told him that it wasn’t going to happen and that he should move on.
“Don’t you dare do this, Ry. I love you. I am not going anywhere,” he text right back.
“Dawson, just stop. I don’t want you. Please understand that.” I shut my phone off and poured myself a cup of coffee.
“Get out of here,” Starlight said as I stared off into space.
“Excuse me?” I asked, not sure I heard her correctly.
“Your mind has been somewhere else all day. Go home and relax. I can handle things here,” she said and wasn’t giving me time to object. She held my elbow and walked me toward the back.