“I can’t stay here,” I said and turned back to Dawson.
“What the hell are you talking about, Riley?”
I was in panic mode. I didn’t want to speak, afraid that my house was wired with cameras and bugs. I didn’t want to go to his house because his house was probably wired too. I walked out to the deck, breathing crazy breaths, trying to get air into my collapsed lungs.
Dawson followed me out. “Riley, please tell me what is going on. I didn’t mean to upset you. I only wanted you to know that your little brother was more than fine, healthy and happy. Tell me what has you so freaked out.”
“You shouldn’t have gone there. He is going to find me. He will kill me.”
“Who is going to find you? Nobody is going to kill you.”
“You don’t know him, Dawson. You ruined everything. You just led him right to me by going there. I assure you he followed your trail right back here.”
“Who!? For God’s sake, Riley?”
I looked at him with tears in my eyes, but didn’t speak.
“Are you afraid of Drew?” he asked.
I nodded, not sure how much I was willing to disclose. I didn’t even freak out about how he knew his name. I already knew that one of my many nightmares had unveiled the information.
“Who is he, Ry?”
“I can’t, Dawson. I do have to leave. I can’t stay here.”
“Nobody is looking for you here,” he tried, but I wasn’t buying it. I couldn’t.
He took his phone from his pocket which was probably bugged too. He dialed a number as waited and listened.
“Hi, this is the Dawson Bade. I spoke to you last week about an adoption.”
I listened to the one sided conversation as he talked.
“I need to know if anyone else knows about me being there or the information that you gave me.”
“Yes.”
“I see.”
“Thank you. That would be great.”
Dawson said goodbye and I looked at him waiting for something, anything to ease my mind.
“I am the only one she has ever given any information to. There was an attorney there for some big company five months ago asking for information. The guy flashed five hundred dollars for any information about anyone asking about Justin Willow. She told the guy to go to hell and had him escorted out. Nobody has been back until me, and she promised that she would not tell anyone that she gave me what she did. She said she could get into a lot of trouble for sharing it with me. She only did it because she knew you were his sister, and I told her how much it haunted you, not knowing where he was.
“Do you really think nobody knows you were there?” I asked, feeling just a little better.
“Yes, Ry. I do.”
I breathed a deep long breath, and Dawson wrapped me in his arms. I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my head on his chest. He kissed the top of my head and squeezed me tighter.
“You have to talk to me, Ry.”
I looked up to him, and he kissed my lips softly.
“I’m scared, Dawson,” I admitted. I couldn’t tell him who I was or where I came from. I needed him in my life, and I didn’t want him to leave me.
“I’m not going to let anything happen to you, Ry,”
he promised, and I truly wanted to believe him.
Dawson made love to me for the first time that night, and it was like nothing I had ever experienced. It was hard for me at first. I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to act, and I wasn’t used to having someone put my needs first. He was so gentle and loving toward me, and my emotions were on overload.
Dawson kissed me passionately, something else that I wasn’t used to. We were standing in my bedroom, and when he moved his hands up my shirt, I thought it was the most comforting thing I had ever felt in my life. His hands were gentle and warm on my back and sides. I was trying to be with him in the moment. I really was, but I felt almost like I was doing something wrong. When he moved his lips down my neck, kissing and sucking seductively on my neck, I found myself leaving him.
I opened my eyes and caught myself looking around for a camera. I just knew that Drew was watching me with Dawson. What I didn’t know was that Dawson was more in tune with me than I was myself.
“Stay with me,” he whispered just below my ear.
His warm breath quickly brought me back to him.
What the hell was I supposed to do? I knew that laying spread eagle on my bed for him wasn’t what he wanted, but what did he want? I didn’t know how to be in a relationship, not a real one anyway. I didn’t know how to make love. I knew how to do what I was told and please my man. Dawson wasn’t interested in me pleasing him. He wanted to please me.