Under the Open Sky

Chapter Twenty-Three

Amanda lay on her side facing Cade, a sheet pulled tight against her. She knew it was silly to feel the need to cover herself after what they had just done but she couldn’t help it. Cade was already working on uncovering her, though, his fingers trailing up and down her side and pushing the sheet a little further down each time.

“You’re quiet,” Cade commented.

“I’m not sure what to say,” she admitted.

“Disappointed? Wish you hadn’t done it?” he offered possible answers.

Amanda smiled. “No and no; you were amazing,” she assured him.

“Thank you,” he grinned.

“Are you disappointed? I’m the one who doesn’t know what they’re doing,” she reminded him.

She watched his eyes darken, his voice soft when he spoke, “No, Amanda, I am not disappointed. That was amazing not because of anything I did because of what we shared. I’ve had sex, Amanda, but that was more than sex.”

Amanda, feeling herself blush again, smiled. “I’m glad you didn’t turn me down again.”

“Me too,” he grinned at her. “Thank you, Manny.”

“For what?”

“Trusting me.”

“You’re welcome?” Amanda smiled at him.

“You amaze me, Manny.”

“Why? Because I can be so brazen one minute and a complete basket case the minute you have me undressed?” Amanda laughed at herself.

“No,” he grinned. He studied her a moment and she watched him frown.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m going to ask you a really stupid question, Manny,” he informed her as he reached to push a strand of hair behind her ear.

“What’s that?”

“Are you on birth control?”

“No,” her heart skipped a beat before it started pounding. Her eyes widened. “Look, Cade, don’t worry about it; I mean I don’t expect you to, you know…” Amanda felt panicked. Cade was going to freak out and think she was trying to trap him or something; it had happened to one of her friends.

“Damn it, Manny,” Cade leaned over her until she was pinned to the bed. “Expect something of me, expect everything of me; you have every right to!” he said harshly.

Amanda blinked at the anger in his tone.

“You are not some one night stand you hear me? You’re better than that, Manny; you’re better than that.” The fire out gone out of his eyes; his gaze softened. “I’m sorry if I scared you, Manny. We need to tell your father that we’re dating; you aren’t going to be my guilty pleasure. I don’t want to sneak around to see you; I want to pick you up at your door and show the world that I’m proud to have you on my arm.”

Amanda, her throat tight, nodded. For all of their flirting and all the letters sent and phone calls exchanged, she had been afraid to hope for or ask for too much. She had told herself she would take whatever he was willing to give and she would be okay with that. She realized how silly that thought had been; she would never be content with being one of a string of women. Cade had told her as much, she realized.

Cade kissed her and then settled on to his back. Amanda rolled until she had him pinned, her knees on either side of him. She leaned over to kiss him, first on the lips and then down his jaw and neck.

“What are you doing, Manny?” Cade sounded amused.

“Kissing you,” she proceeded to kiss his chest.

“That feels nice,” he told her.

“Good,” she leaned forward until she was looking him in the eye. He studied her a moment and she felt heat climb into her cheeks.

“You know how to do this?” his brow was quirked and mouth tilted in amusement.

“No, but you can teach me,” she responded and watched him laugh.

Amanda, feeling utterly limp all over, lay with her head on Cade’s chest. Relaxed was an understatement of how she felt; more like cooked spaghetti. Cade’s finger’s trailed up and down Amanda’s back, making her feel drowsy.

“Amanda?”

“Hmmm?”

“I have no right to ask this, but if I have to leave here when we talk to your father, will you go with me?” He asked her and continued before she could answer. “I have some money in savings, not as much as I’d like but enough to get started somewhere.”

Amanda tilted her head to look up at him where he was looking down at her. “You really think it will come to that?” she asked with a frown.

“I’m not sure what to expect from your father,” he admitted. “Your brother will be mad as hell and ready to pound my ass. I’m telling you, Manny; he’s been nearly unbearable since Christy hurt him.”

“They’ll get used to it, Cade,” she reassured it.

“I hope you’re right, Manny, but if it does come down to that; will you go with me?” his gaze was intense, his expression serious.

Amanda studied him a moment and nodded. “Yes, I’ll go with you if it comes to that,” she promised.

Amanda woke, feeling disoriented before remembering where she was and smiling. She was in Cade’s bed, wrapped in his arms. Feeling content, Amanda snuggled closer. The clock said it was one a.m. and Amanda knew she should get up and dress before everyone returned; they should be back soon. She was having trouble convincing herself to move. The sound of the door opening below made Amanda sit up.

“What is it, baby?” Cade asked her.

“My brother is back,” she said as she reached for her clothes only to find they were still soggy. With a grimace she reached for the shirt she had been wearing. This was not how she wanted her father to learn that she and Cade were dating, she mused.

“Cade?” Trent called up the stairs. “Have you seen Mandy?”

Cade was already standing in his jeans and looking grim. “This is not the best way for this to go down,” he informed Amanda.

“I know,” her stomach tied up in knots.

Cade opened the door and propped his arm on the frame, just as Trent topped the stairs.

“Mandy’s things are on the porch and in her car but everything is locked and we can’t find her. Have you seen her?” Trent queried.

Amanda took a deep breath and ducked under Cade’s arm.

“I’m right here,” Amanda spoke. She watched the color drain from Trent’s face before it returned in bright splotches, leaving his face mottled.

“You son of a bitch,” Trent flung at Cade.

“Don’t you talk to him that way!” Amanda ground out.

“Get your clothes on, Mandy,” Trent ordered.

“I am not a child for you to order around,” she countered.

“I suppose you’re going to tell me that this isn’t what it looks like? That you were simply taking a nap?” Trent pinned her with a look that said he almost wished she would say that.

“No, I’m not going to lie to you. I’m going to remind you that I am nineteen and that this is one of those decisions you don’t get to make for me,” Amanda informed him.

“Trent, I want you to know my intentions…”

“Your intentions? I’d say your intentions are clear.”

“You are being unfair to Cade,” Amanda accused.

“Dad is going to at the very least kick Cade off this ranch, Mandy; are you happy?” Trent speared his sister with a look.

“We were going to talk with Dad tomorrow,” she informed her brother.

“Trent?” Sterling called from downstairs.

“Looks like tomorrow is already here,” Trent smirked.

“Has Cade seen her?” Sterling’s voice came closer.

Amanda could hear boots on the steps and steeled herself. She knew her Daddy wasn’t going to be happy and probably was going to be hurt at finding her as she was. She would not apologize for falling in love with Cade.

Sterling made the top of the stairs; his gaze swept over them. Amanda watched her father’s eyes darken until his pupils disappeared.

“Go to the house, Amanda,” he bit the words off.

“No, I am not a child and you are going to listen to me!” Amanda argued. She had never openly defied her father before; it made her knees wobble to do so now.

“I can’t look at you like that, Amanda. Go to the house and put some clothes on!”

“Daddy, you have to listen to me,” Amanda tried again.

“I am not listening to one word you have to say as long as you are dressed like that!” her father yelled at her.

Amanda felt tears well in her eyes; they had to listen to her!

“Go on, Amanda, let us talk this through, okay,” Cade rubbed her arm lightly. Amanda turned and rose onto her toes to kiss him lightly on the lips, her hand behind his neck. She laid her forehead against his for a moment and then settled back onto her feet.

“I’ll be back,” she promised. He nodded, his eyes dark with worry.

Amanda, unmindful of the gravel beneath her feet, hurried down the stairs and ran across the drive. She bounded onto the porch, yanked the door open and entered the house. She saw her aunt step from the kitchen, her eyes going wide as she took in Amanda’s appearance. Amanda wasted no time tearing up the stairs to gather her clothing and shut herself into the bathroom to shower. She made herself take several deep breaths. She had to be calm and reasonable if she had any hope of them listening to her. As soon as she was dressed Amanda rushed back down the stairs and spilled onto the porch; she came to an abrupt halt when she found her brother and father talking.

“Where’s Cade?” she demanded.

“Cade is no longer employed on this ranch,” her father announced evenly.

“Where did he go?” she demanded.

“I wouldn’t know,” her father returned.

“You had no right to send him away without even letting him talk to me,” Amanda accused.

“I had every right! I made it clear from the day I hired him that you were off limits!” her father bellowed in return.

“That was fine when I was fifteen but in case you haven’t notice I am not a child anymore!” Amanda balled her fists in fury.

“I am still the owner of this ranch and I still make the decisions; I made the decision to fire him.”

“I love him, Daddy,” Amanda admitted, tears in her eyes. “I love him and we want to be together.”

“I’m sorry, Amanda but I want better for you.”

“You don’t even know him,” Amanda accused her father.

“I do,” her brother glared at her.

“Do you?” Amanda turned on her brother.

“Yes!”

“How did get the scar by his eye?”

“In a fight.”

“With who?”

“I don’t know,” her brother snapped.

“He tried defending his mother when his dad was beating her, the ring his dad was wearing tore his skin open,” Amanda supplied. “How did his mother die?”

“He says his dad killed her with his abuse and then leaving,” Trent snapped.

“She committed suicide; she couldn’t deal with it,” Amanda shared.

“What is he most scared of, more than anything else in this world?”

“Mandy, what is the point of this?” Trent snapped impatiently.

“My point is I know him, Trent. We wrote each other two and three times a week for four years. We talked on the phone every night for the past year. We told each other things that nobody else knows; I know him. I know that he wants to be a rancher and be like you two,” she said around tears, “though at the moment I can’t imagine why.”

Amanda watched her father flinch and felt her heart break; she had never spoken to her father that way.

“Amanda, you are my only daughter and it’s my job to protect you,” Sterling informed her.

“Ask your son how many women he has slept with, Dad; or do those men’s daughters not matter?” Amanda turned and entered the house and grabbed her spare key from the entry table. She found Naomi watching her wide eyed from the kitchen doorway.

Amanda stepped outside and around her father and brother to climb into her Jeep. Over two hours later she was in tears again and her heart ached so bad she could hardly breathe. She couldn’t find Cade anywhere. It was nearly four in the morning when Amanda knocked on Jenny’s new apartment door.

“Mandy; what’s wrong?” her friend grabbed her arm and dragged her inside.

“I can’t find Cade; he’s gone,” Amanda shared.

“Gone? Gone where? Why?”

“Dad fired him.”

“What?” Jenny sank to the couch, her hazel eyes dark with worry. Amanda related the events of the evening to her friend.

“I hurt so bad I can’t breathe, Jenny. I want to find him and make sure he’s okay,” Amanda gasped, as she leaned forward.

“Take a deep breath, Mandy; take a deep breath,” Jenny rubbed her back. A moment later, Amanda leaned against her friend, sobs wracking her body. Jenny wrapped her arms around Amanda and let her cry; Jenny’s own tears wet the back of Amanda’s shirt.

Amanda returned to the ranch the next day to find Naomi the only one home.

“Hi, Naomi,” she greeted softly as she entered.

“Are you okay?” Naomi rushed to hug her.

“No,” Amanda shook her head.

“Oh, Mandy; I’m sorry,” Naomi’s hands fluttered helplessly.

“I came to get some clothes. I’m going to stay with Jenny; I need time to cool down and decide what I’m doing next.”

She watched her aunt nod as her chin came up. “I’ll help you pack some things,” Naomi volunteered.

“Thanks,” Amanda offered. It didn’t take her long to gather her things and place them in her vehicle. After a moment of hesitation, Amanda walked over to the cabin and let herself in and up the stairs. She entered Cade’s room, her gaze taking in the empty closet and absence of his things. A few odds and ends remained but it was mostly empty. Amanda noticed that he had left his pillow and claimed it to sit on the edge of the bed and hug it close. Last night had started off so wonderful and had ended so wrong. Amanda stood and on an impulse opened the nearest drawer. It wasn’t empty. Inside laid the jean jacket Cade had bought when he gave her his old one. Amanda smiled around tears. It hadn’t been in here the night before. This drawer had contained his underclothes; she knew because she had searched it for a pair of sleep pants she could wear.

Amanda lifted the jacket out, something grazing her leg and settling onto the floor with a thunk. Amanda frowned and leaned over to see what had fallen. Sunlight glinted off his mother’s ring where it was still on the chain. Amanda felt her heart break a little further even as hope bloomed. Cade had not left the item on accident; he never let it get far from him. It was a promise. Amanda placed the chain around her neck and placed her hand over the ring. She shrugged into the jacket and grabbed Cade’s pillow before walking back to the main house and her Jeep.

“I’ll be praying for you, Mandy,” Naomi spoke from the porch.

“Even if I am wanton and headed for hell?” Amanda queried.

She watched her aunt purse her lips, trying not to smile, only to fail.

“You always were irreverent,” her aunt accused. “Yes, I’ll be praying for your irreverent, wanton soul. I love you, Mandy.”

“I love you too, Naomi.”

Amanda climbed into her Jeep and drove into town.

Jenny was waiting, her expression angry.

“You okay?”

“Your brother came here looking for you; I slammed the door right in his arrogant face,” Jenny shared.

Amanda smiled, feeling the tension inside her uncoil ever so slightly.

“Thanks for looking out for me, Jenny.”

“Any time,” Jenny assured her. “I have to go to work but make yourself at home.”

“Thanks, again.”

“You’re welcome.”

Amanda tried every avenue she could think of to find Cade. She drove down to the college, looking up some of his classmates who still lived in that area. She called others he had mentioned and no one had seen him. Over a month later she was exhausted, depressed, and couldn’t eat. She went to her doctor in desperation.

“What’s the problem, Mandy?” Dr. Conners asked as he entered.

“I need something for depression,” Amanda announced.

“Depression?” Dr. Conners leaned on the counter and crossed his arms. “I’ve never known you to be anything but upbeat.”

“I can’t eat, I can’t sleep enough and I can’t stop crying so write me a prescription for a happy pill so I can get to work without snotting all over my paperwork,” Amanda said around tears.

“Okay, well, first we need to make sure there is nothing more serious going on; then we’ll talk about happy pills and a visit to the head doc; okay?” Dr. Conners was making notes on her chart. Dr. Conners had known her family for years; she could tell he thought she had lost it.

Amanda nodded and waited for the nurse to come in and take her blood. Amanda lay back on the table while she waited for the doctor and laid her arm over her eyes.

“Well, Mandy, I can assure you that you are going to be just fine. I can’t give you any happy pills, dear.”

“Why not?” Amanda demanded.

“You’re pregnant.”

Amanda stared at him, his words finally sinking in a moment later.

“Pregnant?”

“Yes,” he nodded. “We’ll get you started on some prenatal vitamins and see if we can’t find something to help with the nausea.”

Amanda, feeling numb, nodded.

“I’ll also need to see you back for your first prenatal checkup. You told the nurse that your last period was two weeks ago?” Dr. Conners was frowning at her chart.

“Yes, wait…what’s today?” Amanda asked. When Dr. Conners answered, her eyes widened. “I’m late.”

“Ah, I see,” Dr. Conners looked rather amused. “Well, Mandy, let’s see what due date we get with the date of your last period. That gives you an estimate of when you conceived,” Dr. Conners dug a wheel out of his pocket.

“I conceived six weeks ago yesterday,” Amanda supplied.

“You know this?” he surveyed in surprise. Amanda felt heat climb into her cheeks as she nodded. Dr. Conners smiled slightly and looked down at the wheel. “March 15,” Dr. Conners noted it on her chart.

Several minutes later Amanda was seated in her car, still in a state of shock. She was going to have a baby. Amanda let that sink in; Cade’s baby. Amanda placed her hand over her belly and closed her eyes. A part of her leapt with excitement; another nearly panicked. A baby! Amanda slowly started the car and drove to the pharmacy to have her prescriptions filled.

“Hey, Mandy,” the pharmacist’s assistant greeted her. Her name was Molly; she had graduated with Trent and Cade.

“Hi, Molly,” Amanda returned her greeting.

“How are you?”

“Fine,” Amanda assured her; she so was not fine.

“Good, glad to hear it. What have you been up to?”

“Getting pregnant,” Amanda stopped herself from saying it. “Just working,” she finally responded.

“Here we go,” Molly took a bag from another of the employees. “Okay, any questions on your meds?” Molly glanced down at the bags in her hands. “The first one you want to take before eating, this one…” Molly stumbled to a stop, her wide eyes coming up to glance at Amanda sharply. “This second one should be taken with food,” she finally finished.

“Thanks,” Amanda took the bags.

“Congratulations,” Molly offered.

“Thanks,” Amanda repeated and turned to move to the register. After paying she walked down to the book store and bought a couple of books before returning to Jenny’s. She was reading one of them when Jenny entered, carrying a bag of take out.

“Okay, so I thought maybe I could tempt you to eat some of your favorite Mexican,” Jenny held the bag up.

“The doctor gave me some meds for nausea today.”

“Good; now you can eat. What did he say? Is it depression?”

“No,” Amanda answered, “it’s not depression.”

“Are you okay; it’s not something serious is it?” Jenny looked worried now. Amanda held up the book she was reading and watched Jenny’s eyes widen and her mouth fall open.

“That makes so much sense!” Jenny exclaimed a moment later as she hurried to Amanda’s side. “Are you okay?”

“I think so. I think I’m still in shock.”

“A baby,” Jenny’s voice turned soft. “Oh Mandy; we have to find Cade!”

Amanda smiled at her aunt; she was wondering how on earth she had made it to town. Amanda had seen her father and brother a hand full of times since leaving the ranch but was giving them a wide berth for the most part.

“How did you get here?” Amanda demanded a moment later.

“I asked a friend from church to bring me. I want you to come home,” her aunt held up her hand to hold off Amanda’s argument. “I think you should move into the cabin and Trent should move up to the house,” Naomi shared her opinion.

“Dad might not want me there,” Amanda informed her aunt.

“Mandy, he paces the floor every night worrying over you.”

“I’m pregnant,” Amanda shared.

Naomi blinked; then nodded. “All the more reason you should come home and move into the cabin.”

“I’ll think about it,” Amanda promised.

“Good, now I should go,” her aunt stood and kissed her cheek. Amanda saw her out and started mulling over her options. Her aunt’s idea might be a good one, she realized.

A week later, Jenny and Naomi helped Amanda clear her brother’s things from the cabin and moved Amanda’s things in. Her aunt tried arguing when Amanda chose the smaller bed room as her own but finally conceded defeat. When Trent returned home from town with their father he frowned at his things where they sat on the porch.

“What’s going on, Mandy?” Trent demanded.

“It’s like this, I can go to town and get an apartment, in fact, Jenny wants me to room with her but this ranch has always been my home and I don’t want that to change.

“Trouble is I can’t live under the same roof with you or Dad right now. If you don’t like my plan, I’ll return to town,” Amanda laid it all out. She watched as her brother swiped a box up and thunked it down in the back of the truck; his expression was stormy.

“You could at least help,” her brother snapped at her.

“I’ll help,” Jenny volunteered.

“Let the spoiled princess get down here and dirty her hands if she wants me gone so badly,” Trent shot at her.

“I can’t,” Amanda returned.

“What do you mean you can’t?”

“I’m pregnant; I’m not supposed to be lifting,” she admitted.

Trent, his expression almost comical, froze. He turned and placed the box he was carrying into the truck a little more gently and turned back to her.

“Pregnant,” the one word was weighted. Her brother was silent as he finished loading. He climbed into his truck without another word and drove to the main house.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen your brother speechless,” Jenny’s eyes were wide.

“Me either,” Amanda admitted.

It was later that evening after Jenny had left, that Sterling climbed the porch steps, knocked on the door, and entered; his gaze swept over his daughter carefully, his cap crumpled in his hand.

“Are you okay, Mandy,” his deep voice was soft.

“I am.”

“You getting enough rest?”

“Trying to.”

“Eating right? There’s lots of good vegetables from Naomi’s garden at the house.”

“I’m trying to eat right,” she nodded. Naomi had already loaded her down with fruits and vegetables.

“Naomi says you’ve been nauseated.”

“Dr. Conner gave me some medicine for that,” she could feel tears start to rise to the surface.

“Good,” Sterling nodded. “You got everything you need?” Sterling looked around the cabin.

“I’m good,” Amanda nodded.

“Good. Well, um, you follow the doctor’s orders real close and you call if you need anything,” Sterling turned to go. He stopped at the door and turned back to her.

“I love you Mandy-Lynn, I’m glad you came home. Home is where you should always run to,” Sterling turned and slipped out the door.

“I love you too,” Amanda finally managed after her throat cleared; her Daddy was already gone.