Trust in Me

I don’t remember standing, but she wrapped herself around me as I carried her back to the bed. After I placed her in the center, she watched me strip bare. Her lips parted, and I groaned.

Crawling onto the bed, blood pounded in my ears as I hooked my fingers under her panties and waited for her to give me a sign that it was okay.

She lifted her hips.

I praised God and baby Jesus.

Finally, after so long, there was nothing between us. Not true, whispered a voice in the back of my head, but it fell to the side as my gaze swept over her. I said she was beautiful a million times and I’d say she was beautiful a million more. From the dusky tips of her breasts to the sweet curve of her hips and the shadowy area between her thighs, she was fucking beautiful.

I tasted my way down her body and back up, too far gone to really taste her. I hovered over her, letting her feel me between her thighs. Avery shuddered and I squeezed my eyes shut as she placed her hands against my chest.

My body strained to be inside hers. “Do you want this?”

“Yes,” she said, and it was like angels harking in my head.

Our gazes met as I bent my head, kissing her as I lowered my body onto hers. Getting a condom was a distant thought but I couldn’t stop. The tip of my erection slid through and then into her wetness, causing my muscles to tense. The feeling was overwhelming. My kiss turned deeper and I eased my hips—

Avery twisted her head to the side. “No. Stop.” She pushed against my chest with surprising strength. “Please stop.”

Those words cut through the haze and I froze. “Avery? What the—?”

“Get off.” Her voice pitched high, full of panic. “Get off. Please. Get off me.”

I had no idea what was going on, but within an instant, I was off her and she was moving. Crawling across the bed, she grabbed the comforter and held it to her chest as she stood. She backed up until she hit the dresser, rattling the bottles and knocking some over. The skin around her lips was pale and her eyes were wide and dark.

“Oh God,” she whispered hoarsely.

Concern and horror warred inside me as I stared at her. “Did I hurt you? I didn’t—”

“No. No!” She squeezed her eyes shut. “You didn’t hurt me. You didn’t even . . . I don’t know. I’m sorry . . .”

I rested my hands on the bed. “Talk to me, Avery. What just happened?”

“Nothing,” she said hoarsely. “Nothing happened. I just thought—”

“You thought what?”

She shook her head “I don’t know. It’s not a big deal—”

“Not a big deal?” My brows shot up. Was she serious? “Avery, you just scared the shit out of me. You started panicking like I was hurting you or—” The next words tasted like ash and vomit as I spoke them. “Or like I was forcing you to do this.”

“You weren’t forcing me, Cam. I liked what you were doing.”

I didn’t understand what just happened. “You know I would never hurt you, right?”

“Yes.” Tears filled her eyes.

“And I would never force you to do anything you didn’t want to do.” I held her gaze. “You understand that, right? If you’re not ready, I’m okay with that, but you have to talk to me. You have to let me know before it gets to that point.”

She nodded, but I didn’t feel any better. All I could hear was the terrified note in her voice when she had begged me to stop. Air caught in my lungs and what I knew about Avery flashed through my thoughts, all building to what I had already assumed, what I prayed wasn’t what had happened to her.

“What are you not telling me?” I asked. When she didn’t say anything, a muscle jumped along my jaw. “What happened to you?”

“Nothing!” she shouted. “There’s nothing to talk about, dammit. Just fucking drop it.”

“You’re lying.” I took a breath. It was time. No more secrets. “You’re lying to me. Something happened, because that?” I gestured at the bed behind me. “That wasn’t about not being ready. That was about something else, because you know—you know—I would wait for you, Avery. I swear, but you have to tell me what’s going on in your head.”

She still said nothing, and my chest began to ache as a terrible realization occurred. Didn’t she trust me? Didn’t she realize how I felt? But did that matter if she didn’t trust me? The answer was an icy wind down my spine.

“I’m begging you, Avery.” I leaned forward, clenching the sheet. “You’ve got to be up-front and honest with me. You said that you trusted me. You’ve got to prove it, because I know there is more to this. I’m not stupid and I’m not blind. I remember how you acted when we first met and I sure as hell remember what you said that night you were drunk. And that text message you got? Are you telling me that has nothing to do with this? If you trust me, you will finally tell me what the hell is going on.”

“I do trust you,” she whispered.