Veronica and Billy are happy and healthy, and our best friends are the greatest people ever. I’m beyond glad we’ve remained friends and raised families with each other. Oh, and I can’t forget our new best friend, Jackson, that we brought into the circle of trust. My fears of him trying to steal my wife are long gone ever since the day he brought his significant other over to our house for dinner. Dave is two years older than him and lives one street over from us. My only worry now is that Jackson and Dave might want me to have a threesome. I’d be honored and shit because, come on, I’m fucking hot as balls and of course they’d want me, but any more than one penis in a bed is too many, and I would have to sadly decline. Luckily, they haven’t asked yet, so I don’t have to worry about the awkwardness.
I had never thought that night seven years ago when Carter and I went to our new friend Jim’s house for dinner I would meet my soul mate over a plate of lasagna and a discussion on vibrators. Jenny and I…well, I never had a doubt we were meant to be together. She’s my best friend and the best mother and wife there is. No marriage is perfect, but ours is damn near close. And even though we’ve had some troubles, fixing them has been sweeter than any candy I’ve ever eaten.
Well, except for Vagina Skittles. Vagina Skittles are delicious.
Epilogue
Six months later.
“This is Matt with Channel 3 News, coming to you live from the store that started it all, Seduction and Snacks. Seduction and Snacks has grown far beyond the little corner business that two best friends decided to open together almost eight years ago. With the combination of delicious chocolates, cookies, and sex toys, Seduction and Snacks is the perfect store to satisfy your sweet tooth or your bedroom cravings. We’re here today to speak to the women who came up with this idea, as well as their friends and family who have supported them along the way. Welcome, everyone!”
Seated in a straight line are all three couples: Carter and Claire, Liz and Jim, and Drew and Jenny. Sitting on the floor by their feet are each of the couple’s respective children: Gavin and Sophia, Charlotte, Molly, and Ava, and Veronica and Billy.
“Claire, did you ever think that the store you had always dreamed about owning would one day turn into a household name and that you would have locations all over the United States?”
Claire laughs and shakes her head in disbelief while Carter reaches over and covers the hand resting on her thigh with his own.
“This is far beyond my hopes and dreams. Opening just this store by itself was something I never thought would happen. And then to have it take off like it did and to be able to franchise it? I still can’t even wrap my head around it,” Claire states.
“I know you’ve done several interviews about how you and your husband met, and every time I hear that story, it still makes me smile. How are the two of you handling the success along with raising a family?”
Carter lifts Claire’s hand to his lips and places a soft kiss on her fingers. Claire stares happily into his eyes before finally turning back to the camera.
“We’re handling it together, one day at a time. Having the support of such amazing friends and family makes things a lot easier,” Claire states.
“And we really are pretty amazing,” their friend Drew chimes in from down the row. “Well, except for that punk sitting down there surrounded by little girls.”
Drew laughs and points at ten-year-old Gavin, who gives him a dirty look.
“Shut up or I will cut your mother,” Gavin tells him.
“You don’t talk about Eileen Parrit! Eileen Parrit is a saint!” Drew argues.
“So, Liz, did you ever think there would be such a high demand for a store that sells sex toys?”
Jim leans over and places a kiss on Liz’s cheek, and she smiles at the camera.
“As long as there are people having sex, there will always be a need for sex toys,” Liz tells us.
“What’s ‘having sex’?” Liz and Jim’s five-year-old, Ava, asks.
“It’s gross. And people yell like they are in pain. I think it has something to do with killing each other,” Gavin tells her.
“Ooooh, that’s scary. I’m never having the sex,” Ava replies as she goes back to playing with one of the toys her parents brought for her.
“Why do they only pay attention when we’re talking about something they shouldn’t hear?” Jim whispers to Liz.
“Because children are assholes,” Drew whispers back.
“I heard that,” Gavin replies without even turning around.
“Good, because you’re the biggest asshole!” Drew whispers loudly.
“Will you stop calling my son an asshole?!” Claire scolds Drew.
Drew immediately bows his head in remorse when Claire gives him a dirty look.
“Oooooh, you just got schooled by my mommy,” Gavin taunts with a laugh.
Carter quickly leans forward and clamps a hand over Gavin’s mouth while Drew sticks his tongue out at him and gets a smack in the arm from his wife.
“Jenny, you’re credited with putting Seduction and Snacks on the map with all of your amazing marketing and promotion skills. Can you tell us a little bit about that?”
Drew leans back in his chair and throws his arm around the back of Jenny’s and plays with a strand of her hair.
“Um, well, I don’t think I was the one who put Seduction and Snacks on the map. I’m pretty sure it had something to do with the state of Ohio and where they built the building. I could be wrong though. I did send a flyer to our mayor so maybe that made him add it to the map. Not sure,” she says with a shrug.
“You guys have stuck together as friends and been through quite a lot together in the last few years. Where do you see yourselves ten years from now?”