“Ohhhhh, Drew!” she says excitedly as she takes the box from me. I put my hand back on her ass and go back to massaging her boob under her shirt with my other hand while she opens the lid.
She looks inside and there’s confusion on her face for a moment and I explain.
“Well, I figured you wouldn’t be in the mood for Skittles for a while after the 'Rainbow of Fruit Flavor'” evening, so I decided to switch things up.”
Jenny reaches her hand inside the box and pulls out a handful of grape and cherry Dum-Dum suckers.
“I stuck with the purple and red theme, but this time they have handles on them for easier removal,” I tell her with a wink and a wag of my eyebrows.
“I love you so much, Drew Parritt!” Jenny tells me as she tosses the box to the ground and wraps her arms around my shoulders, her hand still clutching the suckers.
“I love you too, Jenny Parritt, my sweet, fuck-hot wife!”
I hear the rustle of a wrapper behind my head, and Jenny moves one arm in front of me, offering me a lick of a cherry sucker. I wrap my lips around the candy and suck while Jenny twirls the stick, making the candy swirl around my mouth.
I reach up and wrap my hand around hers, pulling the sucker out of my mouth with a pop and together, we move the candy to her lips. She runs her tongue all around the outside of the candy just like she does with my dick, and I groan as I watch her tongue and lips enjoy the sucker.
Ten minutes later, we have a slight problem and it involves my pubic hair and a grape sucker.
“Let me just rip it off, like a Band-Aid,” Jenny pleads, looking frantically toward the door of the room. “They’re going to be here any minute, and I don’t think it would be good if you spent the entire hour with your hand down your pants.”
I glance at the clock and then back at her. “Well, they would never forget their first class, that’s for sure.”
After our trip to the emergency room two months ago, we had been approached by one of the doctors and he asked if we would consider doing a sex seminar for married couples once a month at the local community college. We could talk about whatever we wanted, use whatever visual aids we needed. We just needed to teach couples how to have more active sex lives and put a spark back in their marriage.
“I am not ripping this thing off, do you have any idea how much that would fucking hurt?” I ask her.
She glares at me and puts her hands on her hips.
“Oh, yeah, sorry. Forgot about the whole Brazilian thing. Have I mentioned how much I love it, by the way?” I tell her, trying to suck up as best I can. “Maybe you should just suck it off,” I plead with her.
“We’re in a classroom! I’m not getting down on my knees and putting my face in your crotch five minutes before twenty couples are going to show up,” she complains.
“You just put your hand down my pants with a wet sucker in a classroom five minutes before twenty couples are going to show up! What the hell is the difference?!”
Jenny stomps her foot and looks back at the clock in frustration.
“Oh my God, we have no time! At least take your fucking hand out of your pants!” she yells at me.
“I’m afraid! If I let go, who knows what will happen down there. At least right now I’m keeping it contained.”
Jenny wrings her hands in front of her and whips her head around when we hear a voice.
“Excuse me, are we in the right place? Is this the ‘How to Put the Spark Back in Your Marriage’ course?” a man asks from the doorway, his hand holding onto a woman standing right next to him.
Yes, I am well aware of the irony in this situation. Not that long ago I had practically stalked a doctor because of his shitty self-help CD with the same title. I play nice though and sent him and his wife an invitation to our first class. Unfortunately, due to the restraining order, they are unable to attend.
Jenny turns around and flattens her body against mine, blocking me from the couple's view.
“YES! Yes, welcome! Go ahead and take your seats. We’re just discussing some last minute lesson changes,” Jenny tells them before turning back around to face me.
“Pull that fucking thing off, right now!’ she whispers angrily.
“NO! It’s going to take a layer of skin with it! You have no idea how tangled it is right now!” I whisper back.
I look over Jenny’s shoulder and see two more couples entering the classroom and taking seats, talking amongst themselves.
While I’m busy looking, and before I realize what she’s doing, Jenny sticks her own hand down my pants, wraps it around mine, and yanks as hard as she can.
“MOTHER OF JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE DICK IN A BOX!” I scream at the top of my lungs.
Jenny and I stand there staring at one another wide-eyed, the grape pubic-hair covered sucker held in both of our hands between us. My lips are quivering and I can feel tears forming in my eyes.
The pain! Oh my God the pain! It’s like no other I’ve felt before!
Jenny quickly turns back around to face the class, which is now full and all eyes are staring at us questioningly.