“Shh, baby. Please. Listen to me. You’re a part of me, and I’ll take whatever you’re willing to give me, for however long you’re willing to give it.” He rushed on, adding, “I’ve walked away from a lot of girls. Sometimes it hurt. Sometimes it didn’t. But I always got over it, and thought I was better for it. I haven’t gotten over you, Ali, and I’m definitely not better. I need you. Please,” he repeated.
Another attempt at that third step. “No,” I whispered. Together, we were a roller coaster. Up and down, up and down. Sometimes you just had to stay off the ride. “My answer is no.”
He wasn’t deterred. “I gave up too easily, and I’m not making that mistake again. I should have fought for you, just like you said. I realize that now. I didn’t trust you. Well, I’m going to trust you now, because I can’t live with the results of not trusting you.”
As he spoke, every word wrapped in longing, he leaned forward, toward me. I absorbed the words, such beautiful, needed words. Soothing words. I wanted so badly to meet him halfway.
Tears filled my eyes, spilled over. Fourth step. The final. “I’m sorry. I can’t. I just can’t.”
“Baby, don’t cry. It hurts me to know I’ve upset you.” He wiped the droplets away with his thumb. “Okay, we won’t talk about this right now.” He drew in a breath, released it. “Let’s talk about the spy.”
Definitely sobbed. “Yes. Okay.”
“I know we suspect Gavin and Veronica—”
“I don’t,” I said, doing my best to remain calm. “Everything inside me says they’re innocent.”
He nodded. “Okay. I told you I trust you, and I do. I will. In everything, in every way.”
I...didn’t know what to say.
I gulped.
“That leaves Kat, Reeve and Ethan,” he added, filling the silence.
“Ethan is the only unknown.”
“Then we’ll start with him.”
We, he’d said.
A waft of air hit me, and I shivered with cold.
“May I hold you?” he asked.
I tried to say no, I really did. “Yes.” I’d had a last kiss. Now I would have a last embrace.
He climbed into bed with me, gathered me against him.
I’d missed him. I’d missed this. His warmth enveloped me, and his strength soothed me.
Meaningless...
Right.
“We found your phone in the woods when we swept the area for more photos. You can text your grandmother.” He pulled the device from his pocket.
I accepted gratefully and shot Nana a text to tell her I was okay, I loved her and I would be home by eleven, just as Cole had promised. Her response was immediate. Don’t ever worry me like that again.
Me: Will try my best.
“Ask me something,” Cole said after I’d set the phone on the cart beside the bed.
“Like what?” I said, confused.
“Anything you want to know. You ask, and I’ll answer. I want you to get to know me better. Before, you said we didn’t know each other well enough, that the vision brought us together.”
Carte blanche? Yes, please. So sure this is meaningless? “Who was your first time?” I asked.
He snorted, saying, “Wow, okay. You aren’t messing around, are you? And just so you know, I don’t usually discuss these kinds of details with anyone. For you, though... I was fifteen, and she was twenty-one, the daughter of one of my mother’s friends. I lasted about five seconds.”
I tried to swallow my giggles, failed. “Ugh, I shouldn’t be laughing at your extremely poor seduction skills. Because, Cole, that pervy woman totally took advantage of your childhood innocence.”
He barked out a laugh, the sound rusty but so danged welcome. “You are too adorable for words.”
“Why? It’s true.”
“Maybe.”
Not maybe. “If a twenty-one-year-old man had sex with me when I was fifteen, would you be laughing?”
He instantly sobered. “Okay. Point taken.”
“Tell me her name. I’m going to track her down and knock her teeth down her throat.”
“As hot as that is, no. She’s part of a past I’d now like to forget. But...I’m glad you never slept with anyone. I don’t like the thought of you with anyone else, probably would have fed the fuc—uh, the guys more than teeth.”
Must resist this possessive, charming side of him. “Do I get another question?”
“You get as many as you want.”
He sounded determined.
I’d probably make him regret that.