“Spy?” Mr. Ankh and Mr. Holland said in unison.
“No.” Justin shoved his hands into his pockets. “You’ve got a traitor in your midst. I never lied about that, I just don’t know who it is. Every bit of information I gave you is true. I want Anima taken down, and I want to help you do it.”
The fierceness of his expression...the chilling determination in his voice...the hatred oozing off him all combined to scream I’m telling the truth.
“Spy,” Mr. Holland repeated.
“I’ll talk to you about it later.” Cole nodded stiffly to Justin, a silent command to continue.
“My parents think Jace ran away. They worry about her, my mom even cries, but I can’t bring myself to tell them that she’s...that she’s... Because I can’t prove it, and I can’t answer their questions. And now you know everything I know. So we’re done here.” Justin turned and stalked from the room.
Cole stepped forward, intending to chase, but I grabbed his arm. “Let him go. He needs to be alone right now.”
Mr. Ankh and Mr. Holland watched as Cole settled back in his seat.
“Some privacy,” Cole said, waving them away.
Mr. Holland rolled his eyes and left. Mr. Ankh opened his mouth, closed it. Then he, too, took off.
“I know you probably have more questions, but I want to talk to you about Veronica first. About what happened with her after our breakup.”
“No,” I said, anger suddenly rising.
He continued anyway. “I told you she went down on me, and I wasn’t lying, but I didn’t tell you that I stopped her before...just before. And I don’t think you have any idea how difficult that was. With something like that, it doesn’t always matter if a guy likes the girl or wants someone else.”
“Should I give you a medal?” I snapped. I still hated the image of what they’d done.
“Yes. No.” He banged his head against the side of my bed. “I’m screwing this up. Again.”
“There’s no reason to hash this out—”
He looked up, his gaze beseeching me. “There is. When you called me, I was with her.” He latched onto my hand, holding tight enough to ensure I couldn’t break free. “Nothing was going on, I promise you. I was telling her I wasn’t over you, I wouldn’t be getting over you and that I would be with no one but you.”
My heart dropped into my feet.
I wanted to give in—so bad. Can’t give in.
I’d warned him.
Take your refusal one step at a time. Otherwise I’d crumble like a cookie.
First step. “Cole,” I said, plucking at the sheet covering me. “No. We’re not going there. You’re a relationship runner, not a sticker, and I can’t go through another breakup.”
He held me tighter. “Correction. I was a runner. I’m now a sticker. I get it now. I was letting fear make my decisions for me. I was so afraid of losing someone else, I was always looking for the expiration date. Not just with you, but with all my girlfriends.”
Could a girl dance for joy and sob with despair at the same time?
Second step. “I’m glad you realize that, and that you’re determined to move forward, but what happens if you also realize you never got over some of those other girls?”
“That’s not possible. I want you. And I know you warned me, told me not to even think about crawling back. I know I messed up in the worst possible way, something I can promise you will never happen again. I know, but I’m still coming after you with everything I’ve got.”
I might have sobbed.
Third step, the hardest. “Cole—”