This Curse

SIXTEEN



“You look ridiculous!” Jamie let a small snort escape as she tried not to laugh. Her ability to find humor in horrible situations was diverting. “No one will want to look at you.” She bent over as strong bout of laughter assaulted her.

I stood in front of the full-length mirror regarding my reflection with an unrecognizable frown. When we cast the glamour, Jamie had told me to focus on a picture in my mind and I swear all I could think of was Yoda from Star Wars.

“This is a disaster!” I garbled passed shriveled lips. “No one is going to believe this isn’t a total glamour.” I gestured wildly at my reflection.

“Well, at least you’re not green. If you were green then I’d agree. Right now, though, you just look like a really ugly old lady.” She started laughing again. “With bionic hearing.” She flicked one of my huge ears and then fell onto the bed clutching her sides with laughter.

I glared at her. “Wonderful,” I muttered turning around to study my short, paunchy form. My body stood about four feet tall. I was pale and wrinkled all over like some oversized naked mole rat. I looked at her laughing reflection through the mirror and frowned. “I’m amazed that you can find humor in any of this shit. I’m beginning to think that they really did break you.” I examined my wrinkled head thinking that I was one hideous bald lady.

Jamie sat up and wiped her eyes. “No, Grace. I just haven’t felt well in so long. I’m sorry. I’ll try and take this more seriously. I realize this is your friend and believe me I’m worried about him too.” She sighed and sat up from the bed. “And Grace, don’t forget, my brother is a big part of this as well.”

I turned to face her. “Okay. I agree that this is pretty intense and a few bouts of giggling can’t hurt. I know you care.”

She smiled. “Alright then, after I change, we can enter as a pair of dark witches. As far as I know, Hell is full of them. And let me tell you, Voltaire won’t be expecting you to throw away your beauty just to rescue Seth. He has a pretty screwed up idea of human nature, and clearly no idea of Madean nature at all.” Jamie hopped off the bed and grabbed her share of the potion.

I watched her down the thick concoction. She coughed and sputtered as the vile tasting fluid coated her throat. I grimaced and smacked my lips; the taste was still stuck in my mouth.

I heard a popping noise and looked up. The change hit her. “Um?” I goggled as I stared at her, or more accurately, him. “You said witches.” I frowned. “What were you thinking?”

“What?” she spun around. “I’m a cave dwarf, Grace. They all have beards you know, even the females.” She smiled showing very small even teeth.

“Oh,” I frowned, “really?” I shook my knobby head and stood beside her. “Boy do we make a pair or what?” I smiled, my thin lips stretching until they disappeared all together.

“So we’re witches and apparently don’t use our powers for cosmetic reasons,” I jabbed her in her side to prove I could relax as well.

“Nope,” Jamie confirmed. “We're too proud and no self respecting cave dwarf would shave her beard.” She frowned, “It does itch somethin’ terrible, though.” She moved her nose up and down and puffed out her cheeks.

“You know,” I sighed as a thought occurred to me. “Whenever I find myself gearing up to go save the day, I end up coming home alone. I feel like my partners are nothing more than fodder. We need to take precautions, James. I can’t keep rescuing people.” I folded my arms with difficulty. They were short and sinewy, making movement awkward.

“I have it!” she shouted making me jump. “Wizards!”

“Um, okay?" I quirked an eyebrow at her.

“You know,” she sighed, exasperated. “Like that thing the wizards use, um, a port key.”

“Oh, man, you are so lucky I read. You can make a port key?” I was totally intrigued. “That is so cool, I would have never thought of that.”

“Well, um, no. I can’t make a port key. I assumed that with your awesome power, you could wing it and make something that could send us back in the event of an emergency. Like maybe a bracelet with a covered stone. We could lift the cover and touch the stone and, zing! We’re back in your living room pigging out on Kung Pao chicken!”

“Oh.” I frowned. “Yeah, okay. I’m sure I can come up with something. Hang on.” I sat on my unfamiliar bottom and concentrated hard. I imagined two gold bangles with hidden stones. The power to transport us home was imbued with just a thought.

“Oh, my God, you are so freaking awesome!” Jamie gushed as a beautiful golden bangle appeared on each of our wrists. “These will really work?” she ran outside. I followed her, getting to the door just as she reached the middle of my driveway. “Okay, here goes.” she shouted, lifting the gold shield that covered the stone she touched it gently and then suddenly she was gone.

“Holy crap!” she laughed from behind me.

“What the hell?” I spun to see her sitting on the couch behind me. I laughed out loud at the sight, amazed at how literal my stupid brain could be. There was Jamie, sitting on my couch, surrounded by several boxes of Chinese takeout.

“Incredible!” she mumbled around a mouthful of Kung Pao chicken. “I think I love you.” She winked and swallowed the food down.

“Well, at least we know the stones work. Just don’t let that bracelet out of your sight, James. All we need is for some demon to lift it from you. The last thing I want is a bunch of Hell beasts gorging themselves on magical take out in my living room.”

She frowned and looked at her wrist. “I won’t let it go, I promise.” She squeezed the jewelry tighter around her wrist.

“Okay,” I felt a twinge of unease, but ignored it. “Are you ready to do this?” I stood and produced a dark, hooded cloak. I wrapped it around my small form and handed Jamie one of her own.

“As ready as anyone can be, I guess. I have my spells and our glamour will last until we drink the anti-potion. She held up two tiny vials.” She frowned at the contents and moved them to a pocket in her clothing. “They’ll be safe. Let’s just hope Voltaire, or Lucian rather, will buy these stupid disguises.”

“You’re doubting yourself now? Not good, sister. Buck up and let’s get this show on the road. Now,” I rubbed my tiny hands together, “How do we get into Hell?” I cocked my head to the side in question.

“Why, we burn of course.” The look on her face sent chills across my entire body.

“We burn?” I didn’t like the sound of that at all.

***

“I really don’t think this is a good idea. Not out here.” I looked around the desert frowning at all the dry sage. Acres and acres of brush just waiting to ignite into a huge inferno. “I kind of like my city char free.”

“It’s a controlled burn, Grace. Don’t worry.”

“That’s what they all say.” I kicked a rock and sighed as a startled horny toad scurried under a nearby patch of sage. “Then it’s all panic and fire bombers and chaos! No thanks.” I flung my hand out and produced a small clear dome that completely surrounded us. “This should keep the flames contained. The dome will remain until all the embers are out.”

“Feel better now?” Jamie shook her head and continued to draw several intricate symbols onto the ground.

Jamie had informed me that in order to get into Hell one had to stand in the center of the symbols and chant as the flammable powder that encircled us was lit. She assured me that the flames wouldn’t hurt as long as we said the words. We were the living and Hell couldn’t make us suffer until death. It had no real hold. But if we messed up the words, all bets were off.

“This is scary. God, Seth you better be okay!” I muttered.

“He’s going to be okay. He’s had your blood, plus he’s a hybrid, so he has to be pretty strong.” She put her hand on my arm and gave me a sweet look. I laughed and tugged on her beard.

“Thanks, James. You’re a real friend.”

“You’re sweet, Grace. Now… keep that thought because that opinion is about to get tested.” She tossed a small fireball at the powder on the ground and we were instantly engulfed in flames.

It took all I had to start chanting and not scream my head off and run away. I frantically stuttered the words she forced me to memorize. Something about safety through the gate in Latin. Back at home, while I waited for her to look up the proper symbols we would need, I tried to translate the Latin on my cell phone but it only offered me Yiddish. Somehow, I doubt that would have been helpful.

The fire licked up my arms and I felt my panic rise. The flight reaction was so overwhelming that I grabbed onto Jamie’s arms and started screaming the words into her face just to get my mind off of the rising flames. I closed my eyes and kept chanting. The flames held no heat but my mind didn’t care. I was on fire and damn it if that wasn’t the scariest feeling imaginable!

“All second level demons to the third circle.”

“What?” I mumbled as light filled my vision. I was lying on the floor of a very beige room. It smelled like sulfur and a really strong pine scented plug-in. I wanted to puke.

“Please tell me I’ve been knocked unconscious.” I garbled as I sat up. I put my hand on my head and looked around. We were surrounded by at least a dozen other creatures of all shapes and sizes. Some were milling around while others were scraping themselves off the floor as Jamie and I were.

“I doubt it, um... Shit!” Jamie whispered “What do I call you?” she looked around as if everyone were suddenly eavesdropping. Which this being Hell, I guess that was a pretty real possibility.

“Call me… Um… Yolanda.” I searched her face, “And you can be Dorothy.”

“Why?” We both shuffled behind what looked like the end of a line. Ahead of us, it appeared that everyone was being checked in by a receptionist?

“Well,” I tore my eyes from the strangeness of the environment and tried to focus on Jamie. “I don’t know. I just went with Yoda, and a Dwarf… See?” I tried to smile but only managed to frown.

“All lower level demons report to the second circle.”

“What the hell is that?” I looked up, locating a set of small speakers recessed into the ceiling, which was old and covered in that bumpy popcorn looking stuff. “This place is so outdated. Like an office from the seventies.” I observed out loud.

We were moving slowly through the line. Each creature in front of us spoke briefly to the woman behind the flimsy looking metal desk. As each creature passed through the doors, she would write something down and continue with the next in line.

I was in awe at how completely uninteresting Hell appeared. I once visited a county clerk’s office and I swear this was an exact duplicate of their color scheme. It was as if they wanted to bore you to death.

“This had better work.” Jamie whispered, waking me up from my daze.

“It will, James. It will!” I grasped her pudgy hand in mine. My nerves were so packed with adrenaline that I thought I would explode.

We were finally next in line and when we faced the woman at the rickety desk, I was more than a little shocked. She was beautiful. Helen was printed on the little plastic tag on her shirt. She was sipping a diet coke through a straw. Her expression was incredibly annoyed and somehow bored at the same time.

“State your business with the dark legions.” Her voice droned as if her tired speech was automatic. “All requests made specifically pertaining to The Dark Prince must be submitted in blood at least thirty days in advance.” Her eyes looked sleepy as the words slipped off her tongue.

She sat for several seconds looking at us. We stared stupidly back. I could feel my mind screaming for me to speak, but I was just so confused by the whole scene to even begin to form a statement. Thankfully, Jamie had pulled her wits about her.

“We are here for the witches’ council.” She blurted.

I stood as straight as I could and nodded. She eyed us.

“You’re late, the trial has already begun. Are you here to speak?” She placed her chin in her hand and yawned. It was crazy how lovely she was. How the heck she ended up here was a question I was dying to ask. Yet, on the other hand, I knew that beauty often hid the most evil souls. “The Dark Prince is presiding over the courts as we speak. Are you for or against?”

Uh, crap! “For?” I knew it sounded like a question and her eyes sharpened on us for the first time.

“Interesting.” She muttered and began scribbling on her papers. “Proceed, fourth circle.” She said and waved us through.

“What in heck did we just do?” Jamie whispered as we entered a much darker hallway.

“I think we just got in to see Big Bad himself.” I stammered. “Oh, man. We’ve already made a mistake.”

“Yeah, um, how come this hall is empty?” her voice shook as she spoke.

A terrible feeling washed over me. “It’s too dark.” I felt like the walls were closing up behind us.

Jamie gripped my arm as we walked further down the dark hall. “Oh shit!” she coughed and tried to clear her throat, “this hall leads directly to the destination we stated at the desk. You can’t wander around in Hell.”

I froze in my tracks. “What? Then how the heck are we supposed to find Seth? What? Go back and say oops, we meant to say we wanted to go help out our kidnapped friend? F*ck, Dorothy!”

“Well crap, Yolanda!” she defended, her hands on her rounded hips. “I don’t know what to do! I’ve never vacationed in the Underground. How can anyone know what to expect?”

“Well, sorry.” I mumbled. “I guess I’m a little freaked out at the prospect of coming face to face with Beelzebub.” I took a deep breath and centered myself. “Okay, this isn’t helping; we just need to focus here. We can’t go to that trial! We have no idea what it’s about and no way am I chancing a meeting with Lucifer!

“Totally, agreed!” Jamie’s eyes were as big as saucers as she nodded her head frantically. Now what do we do? How do we change to the hall that leads to Seth?”

“Well, am I a Madea or not?” At her blank expression, I just threw up my arms and sat on the floor. She quickly followed by sitting a little too close and wrapped her tiny arms tightly around me. “Let me breathe a little.” I shifted out of her iron grip and taking a deep breath, I opened my mind and reached out for Seth.

Hell was beige all over. It was incredible. Nothing was frightening; evil souls weren’t burning in a pit of fire. It was like any other unremarkable office building in any city on Earth. I reached out further, searching for any signs of Seth, my mind traveled along its halls and corridors tasting and feeling. Nothing was at all what I had expected.

I was feeling along a wide hall when I finally sensed him. “Oh, God!” I gasped. “I can feel him, he’s alive!” I grabbed for Jamie’s arms and squeezed. “He knows I’m near.” I could feel his mounting excitement at the touch of my mind to his. “Okay, um, I think I know what to do.” I stood, dragging Jamie up with me.

Before we could get to our feet, I zapped our bodies out of the hall that led straight to the Devil and shifted our position to the hall that I thought Seth was housed in. At the center of the hall was a bustling courtyard. Witches, demons, and all sorts of creatures rushed to and fro. Humans were posted at random doors. Some were checking what appeared to be some sort of identification while others were waving metal detecting wands. It was like Hell’s version of airport security.

“Are all humans civil servants?” I whispered close to Jamie’s ear.

“I think it depends on how they died.” She pulled me closer as she spoke. “If they killed themselves but were generally pretty good people, I believe they serve in the first circle of Hell for all eternity. You know, limbo. But, If they were real shit heads when they ended it, well I think they suffer a far worse punishment.”

“Oh.” I frowned as I tried to study a young woman taking a trolls identification. I couldn’t see any marks or signs of the way she had killed herself.

“I never would have guessed that these people were suicides.” I mumbled as we were pushed deeper into the crowd.

“No.” Jamie frowned. “Hell has no effect on us because we’re living. Only the dead can see the true horror of this place. Be glad we can’t see how they died or what really paints these walls. We’d never be the same, I assure you.”

“You mean this is all smoke and mirrors?” I felt sick. This was such a mistake.

“Yeah, and be thankful for it. Now, do you know where you’re going?” She looked around the vast expanse, her bushy eyebrows touched in a worried frown.

I could understand her stress. “Well, for now I’m just trying to get a feel for his location. I think he’s being held on this level.”

“Gra… I mean, Yolanda. Who’s that over there?” she pulled me hard to the side, causing me to stumble. “No way!” She jerked me forward like a rag doll; her little dwarf arms were strong as hell. “Do you see who I see?” her voice rose with excitement. “Oh my God!” she clutched my cloak in tight little handfuls and squealed.

“Who?” I tried to see through the crowd while untangling myself from the maniacal grip she had on my clothing. “I don…. Holy shit! Is that Lucian?” I felt adrenaline surge through my small frame. My heart rate jumped and I turned, grabbing Jamie’s arm, I started to run. Lucian’s broad back and blonde head was all I could see through the crowd. It was him. I’d know that man anywhere.

“Follow him!” I shouted stupidly as I dragged poor Jamie along beside me.

Lucian wove through the crowd with ease. He obviously ranked pretty high down here considering how quickly everyone got out of his way.

I tried to keep up but my stubby feet and short legs were not conducive to any type of hot pursuit and sadly neither were Jamie’s.

“Great disguises,” she puffed as she ran beside me; sweat trickled down her sideburns and into her beard. “We’re never going to catch him, he’s going to get away, and then we’ll be screwed!”

“This isn’t helping, James.” I had to stop and catch my breath. Lucian was so far ahead he appeared smaller.

“We can’t lose him,” she panted to a stop beside me. “He could be leading us straight to Seth!”

“He is I can feel it.” I breathed, my little lungs struggling to suck in more air than they were capable of. “Seth’s mind is crystal clear. Maybe I can zoom in better. Hang on.” I closed my eyes, “Yeah. He’s here.” I puffed out. My breathing slowly returned to normal. Seth’s thoughts were firmly inside my mind. They were coherent and pretty darn angry.

I tired to communicate around the fog of fury whispering as calmly as I could. Seth, please, calm down. I’m here. Do you know where you are? I could feel his rage.

Grace, what are you doing, you foolish woman? Do you realize what is going to happen to you if he discovers you are here?

Wait a minute! We’re here to rescue you, you ass! And who the hell is he? Voltaire? Please. We already know he’s possessing Lucian.

“Hurry it up, Yolanda.” Jamie's voice was a tiny squeak at the back of my awareness. I was pressed against a wall while she used her body to shield me from anything that might want to take advantage of my trance like state.

No, Sweet. Seth’s voice echoed in my mind. Not Voltaire. I am afraid you have made a much bigger mistake than you could ever have imagined.

A searing hot flash followed by a bright light shot through my mind. I shuddered as goose flesh broke out all along my arms and tickled down my neck. I sucked in my breath and then the connection to Seth was severed.

“I don’t know what just happened but we have to run!” I snatched Jamie’s hand and took off down the hall.