Finally
April, 2001
“Baby, over here!”
Forgetting for a minute that I’m in Oakland and there are about twenty people in a five foot radius that would have zero problem jacking my car, motor still running, I jump out of it and attack Leo’s face.
“I missed you so much!”
“Not as much as I’ve missed you.” Pointing to the rolling cart behind him, “Is that cottage of yours prepared to handle this last load?”
Clinging to him tightly, I whisper, “You mean…that cottage of ours.”
After getting my final ear-full from the fat ass wanna-be police officer traffic guy for taking too long to load the car up, we set off for what I hope is a never-ending sex filled night. You see, Leo and I haven’t “been together” since we got back together last month. Crazy as it sounds for two people who used to maul each other, but it’s the truth.
Last month when he showed up on my doorstep and asked me if I was finally ready to be afraid with him, we spent the entire evening talking about, and being sorry for (that would be me) everything that went wrong between us. I’m not sure if it was exhaustion from anticipating his arrival or exhaustion from the last three years of my life that caught up to me, but I fell asleep in his arms on the couch and didn’t even wake up when he left for his early flight back to New York the next day. We never even made it to the bedroom. I woke in the morning to a bunch of wild flowers he picked from the creek below my cottage and a sweet note on the coffee table that said…
“Have to wrap things up in NY. Until I get back home, dream about me.”
Truthfully, if it weren’t for the note, I would’ve thought everything about that night was a dream. Leo was back in my life and I could hardly believe it! Like a modern day Snow White, I cheerfully spent the next few weeks preparing the cottage for his impending move-in day. I cleared everything out of my medicine cabinet that contained the words: wrinkle, itch, zit, rash, and flare up. I disposed of all of my big ol’ period panties, hid my super absorbent tampons and heavy flow maxi pads, and promptly started receiving depo provera injections. Now that sex is on the horizon, I’ve got to protect myself and Lord knows I drink way too much alcohol to be trusted to take a pill every day. No babies, not yet, no thank you. It’s time for me to have some long overdue fun, not change diapers!
Seven days ago when Leo returned from New York with his first load of items to move into the cottage, you can bet your sweet ass I had huge plans for him to see my sweet ass. I was NOT going to fall asleep this time! And I didn’t, and not because I was having constant sex, it was because I had Kendall’s sweet little ass with me. It wasn’t the plan, but Craig had a last minute business trip and his folks weren’t able to help him out. That meant Chrissy, or as Kendall calls me, Ki-Ki, to the rescue. Kendall would be with me for Leo’s entire two-day visit before he had to go back to New York one final time. Suffice it to say, my big plans to handcuff Leo to the bed and do things to him he had better hope to all that’s Holy no woman ever did to him in New York, were squashed.
Kendall was apprehensive about Leo at first. And being a man of few words, he didn’t do much to convince her not to be. The ride from the airport back to my cottage that day was about as odd as odd could be. Just me…driving along in silence with my dead friend’s three-year-old daughter and the twenty-five-year-old guy I’d barely seen in the last year and eight months and just reunited with. AWKWARD! Leo wasn’t trying to be rude on that drive home. In fact, I think it was just as weird for him to be around Kendall as it was for Kendall to be around a big strange guy. You see, this was the first time Leo ever met anyone associated with my old Freakmont days. Not that he doubted it for a minute, but Kendall was the proof that I did have a best friend who died, that my best friend does have a husband who is still horribly grieving, and that her husband has a best friend who happens to be my ex-husband. No shit it was a quiet drive.
And the quiet continued once we got to the cottage. Just as I was about to suggest to Leo it might be best for him to stay at a hotel, he tenderly opened up his carry-on bag and started playing with a bunch of shitty airport gift shop toys. Kid gold! Kendall’s eyes lit up at the mountain of florescent plastic crap that Leo so obviously bought when he got my call about her being with me -just minutes before boarding his plane. I watched from the kitchen as Kendall slowly walked over to the pile. When she got there, Leo said, “My favorite color is blue, what’s yours?” Within an hour, the two of them were on the back deck overlooking the roaring creek with flashlights in hand, hunting for snipes. By the time I tucked Kendall into bed, she made me promise that “Weo” would hunt for the imaginary creatures again with her tomorrow.
That weekend, Leo and I agreed it would be in poor taste to sleep together with Kendall under the same roof, and it was torture watching him play with her, knowing the entire time he wouldn’t be able to play with me. While he slept on my super pretty, but annoyingly uncomfortable wicker couch, I curled up next to Kendall in my bed and forced myself to forget about the man on the other side of the wall. But you know what? Despite being celibate for more days than I care to count, the three of us had a fantastic time that weekend. We went boating at the Lafayette reservoir, we ate dinner at one of those cook-at-your-table Japanese restaurants that ALL kids love, and, of course, we hunted for snipes. There’s nothing that could’ve made those forty-eight hours any better. Well, maybe one thing, and with Kendall sleeping at her own house tonight, I’m ready to collect.
Knowing tonight was finally going to be the end of my celibacy tour; I wanted everything to be perfect. I waxed nearly every square inch of my body and spent a hundred and seventy-five bucks on lingerie that barely weighs an ounce. Seriously, there’s no point to it other than “Hey look at me, going to all these extremes to turn you on.” I scrubbed every inch of my cottage and my body, set up candles anywhere there was space, and prepared a dinner for us that hopefully wouldn’t come back to haunt me later while trying to bust a compromising move in bed (like in the form of a Chinese-firecracker-type fart). Before I left for the airport to pick up Leo, I put on my lingerie, my cutest jeans, my sexiest shoes, sprayed on the same Carolina Herrera perfume I had on the night we met at Buckley’s, and then I eagerly hit the road. And now, here we are!
Pretending to listen to Leo talk about the new job he’s about to take at Robertson Stephens in San Francisco while he drives my luggage-packed car back to the cottage, I can only hear my own thoughts and they’re saying the same thing over and over again. One year and eight months after the love of my life slammed the door on my face, I’m finally gonna get laid!
May I kiss you
May I kiss you there
Please don't move
It feels so good to me
So beautiful you are…
So beautiful
(Beautiful/Me’Shell Ndegeocello)