The Realest Ever

Chapter SIXTEEN

FOOL FOR LOVE

They didn’t sleep again until five a.m. Donovan woke up at eight and sent his mother a text message, letting her know he wouldn’t join her for church this Sunday morning. That was a rarity. He climbed back into bed with Kyra, and she immediately reached for him in her sleep.

Donovan woke up again at noon. He showered and dressed in his usual tee-shirt, shorts and sneakers. He woke Kyra up, and she showered again, too. She put on the outfit Donovan gave her last night, remembering that she only wore it for an hour before he undressed her again.

Kyra called home. Aunt Ruth said there were no problems, except she had an important message she needed to deliver. She sounded like it was bad news. Kyra didn’t ask what it was. She didn’t want anything negative to ruin her last moments with Donovan.

He dropped her off at 1:30 and kissed her lovingly in Aunt Ruth’s driveway. Kyra held her dress and her mum in her lap. She felt a little self conscious, knowing her aunt would throw the sleepover in her face at some point, to try to make her feel low. Donovan told her she would never have that problem if she moved in with him. Kyra kissed him again, very slowly. She told him, “You don’t know what you’re saying. But, we can talk about it later.”

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Donovan went straight to his mother’s house after leaving Kyra. Beverly responded to the message he sent earlier. She asked if he could stop by for Sunday dinner, if he was feeling better. One thing Donovan would never turn down was his mama’s home cooking, even if he’d have to explain why he missed church. Heresponded to her by text: I’m feeling great! I’ll be there at 2.

When he arrived, Beverly had a three course meal prepared. Donovan grinned at the macaroni and cheese, baked potato and his mama’s world famous meatloaf. He gave her a big hug and a kiss on the jaw.

“What’s wrong with you, boy? Why you so excited?” Beverly struggled to get out of his bear hug, but she was smiling.

“I feel good, Mama. And you made my favorite dinner. What’s not to be happy about?”

He took a seat at the kitchen table, and Beverly served him a plate. They made small talk while Donovan wolfed it down. He told his mom that he missed church this morning because he slept late, but he knew she would want a better explanation. Beverly waited until he was done eating before she brought it up again. By then Donovan was too full and lazy to be deceptive.

“How’d you sleep late if you were awake at eight o’clock to send me a text message?” Beverly asked.

“I was with Kyra,” Donovan said. “She spent the night with me.”

Beverly’s eyes widened. She figured Kyra had something to do with it, but she thought it would take a billion questions before Donovan admitted it.

“I know I said we weren’t going to have a relationship,” he continued. “But I took her to Finley High’s homecoming game yesterday, and there was a lot of nostalgia. I kissed her, and we decided to be more than friends from now on. Kyra’s my woman now. I asked her to move in with me.”

That was one hell of a mouthful. Donovan was rarely this forthcoming. Beverly couldn’t process the information quickly enough. She sat quietly, staring and blinking for more than five seconds.

“Mama? Are you alright?”

Beverly nodded vaguely.

“You said you were going to stop hating on Kyra, right?”

She continued to nod.

“I know I asked you to accept her as my friend,” Donovan went on. “But now I need you to accept her as my woman; soon to be my wife and your daughter-in-law. You can do that for me, cant you?”

Beverly was still nodding, but she shook her head when his words caught up to her. “Wait, wait, wait, wait…” She rubbed a pressure point between her eyebrows. “Slow down, Donovan. Just, slow down…”

He didn’t mean to cause his mother any stress, but Donovan felt great. He didn’t have any secrets. Everything was out in the open.

“I know this is a lot to digest,” he said. “It’ll probably take some time before–”

His mother held a hand up to stop him. “Hold on a second,” she said. “Just wait a minute. I’m not as young as I used to be. I need a minute to think about all of this.”

Donovan smiled.

Beverly gave him an irritated look. “Now you and Kyra getting together, that’s not a surprise,” she said. “I knew that was gon’ happen from the second you told me she came back.”

“But it wasn’t planned.”

“I know,” she said. “You were with Brianna, and you didn’t want to hurt her. I raised you good, and you’re a good man.”

Donovan’s chest swelled.

“But if something’s meant to be, nothing can stand in its way. I know you didn’t break up with Brianna for Kyra, things just happened like that.”

Donovan was glad she believed him.

“So you being with Kyra is fine with me,” Beverly said.

“Really?”

“Yes, boy. I told you I would stop coming against her, and I have.”

“Thanks, Mama.”

“But what I want to know,” Beverly said, “is why you feel the need to move so fast all of a sudden. You said you kissed the girl for the first time last night. You probably should’ve left it at the kiss, but whatever, I’m not in that.”

Donovan looked down at the table bashfully.

“But why do you want her to move in with you? Why are you already talking about marriage? You and Kyra have only been together for one day, Donovan.”

“I know, but it’s not like I just met her. I’ve known Kyra all my life.”

“But she’s been your woman, as you call it, for one day, son. One day. Don’t you think you should date her for at least a year, to see how it goes?”

Donovan shook his head. “No. We can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“Because this isn’t a see how it goes type of situation, Mama. We’re going to be together forever. I don’t have any doubts.”

“Then why rush it?”

“Why not rush it?”

“Because it might not work,” Beverly stressed. “I know you want the best for her, but you two might not be compatible as boyfriend and girlfriend. Maybe you were meant to be just friends.”

“But we can’t go back,” Donovan said. “Not after what happened. I have to marry her, so we’ll be together forever.”

Beverly watched his eyes, and her heart melted. Donovan was in love. Big time. But she knew he was also afraid, and maybe irrational. “Listen to me,” she said. “I think what you and Kyra did was major. You’re right, it probably changed your relationship forever. But I think now you’re scared that if y’all don’t make it as boyfriend and girlfriend, you’ll lose her as a friend, too.

“So you want to hurry up and move in with her and get married so you’ll know for sure y’all will be together. But that’s not the right way to do it, Donovan. If y’all have problems, you need to figure them out before you get married. Before you move her kids into your house. ’Cause it’s not just you and Kyra that’s gonna be affected by all of this. You got those two babies in the middle.”

Donovan knew she was right, “But, Mama, there’s no chance of me and Kyra breaking up.”

“You don’t know that,” Beverly said. “And you’re too scared to wait and make sure. But I’m telling you, it’s better to find out before you make any major changes in that girl’s life. You told me yourself; she’s been through enough. You know I love you, baby. And I wish you and Kyra the best. But I think you’re rushing into things. Have you talked to Kyra about this? Is this what she wants, too?”

Donovan sighed. “She said we need to talk about it.”

“Then talk to her,” Beverly said. “Listen to her – if you won’t listen to me. Trust me, I’m not hating on Kyra, or whatever you called it.”

Donovan chuckled.

“I’m not even complaining about you missing church this morning,” Beverly continued.

Donovan had to lower his gaze again.

“I just want what’s best for you,” his mother said. She reached to hold his hand.

“I know,” Donovan said. “And I love you.” His eyes scanned the table. “…You and these leftovers. You don’t need all of this food, do you?”



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Aunt Ruth tried to talk to Kyra when she got home, but she went straight to her room and changed clothes. She took her kids out for a late lunch and then went to get groceries with her very last food stamp card. Kyra would get her first check from the school district in five days. A month after that, she’d have a steady income for the first time in over a year. Kyra couldn’t wait to move out of her aunt’s house, but she still had to face her when she went home.

Aunt Ruth didn’t help tote the groceries inside, but she helped Kyra put them away in the kitchen. While they worked, Ruth told her, “Girl, I got something to tell you.”

Kyra told her kids, “Go to your room.”

Ruth waited until they were gone before she said, “Leonard called.”

Outwardly, Kyra didn’t respond. She continued to put away the food. But inwardly Kyra’s whole body suddenly felt cold and sick. If she was near a toilet, she was sure she’d vomit.

“Did you hear what I said?”

“He called from jail?” Kyra asked. She continued to work around her aunt who now stood by the stove with her arms crossed.

“No, he’s not in jail,” Aunt Ruth announced. “He say he’s out of jail.”

Kyra’s knees buckled. She really was going to be ill. But she kept moving. She didn’t want her aunt to know how much the news troubled her.

“How’d he get the number?”

“From one of them folks in Little Rock. I don’t know who. Everybody know where you at, Kyra. Ain’t no secret.”

“What’d he want?”

“He want you to call him,” Ruth said. “I took down his number for you.” She went to the table and found a tablet. “Here it is.”

Kyra continued what she was doing. She felt the beginning of a bad headache.

“You gon’ call him, ain’t you?” her aunt asked.

“I don’t know,” Kyra said.

“You got his baby,” Ruth reminded. “You got to call him, if he wanna know about his baby.”

Kyra finally went and stood in front of her. “He doesn’t care about Kat. He never did.”

“That’s not what he told me. I talked to him for a long time. He pissed ’cause you took Kat out of state. He think that’s illegal. And I know it is.”

“Oh, you know it is?”

“Yes, and you know it too, Kyra. If that man wants to see his daughter, you have to let him. And if he go and get a lawyer and tell them you took his daughter out of state, they can take that baby from you. They’ll give Kat to him.”

Kyra’s heart burned at the mention of someone taking either of her children away. That happened once before. Kyra would never let it happen again, especially not over a lowlife like Leonard.

“He’s on drugs,” she said. “Nobody’s going to give my baby to a drugged out father.”

“He said he’s clean now.”

“Whose side are you on?” Kyra wanted to know. “Why you taking up for him?”

“I’m not taking up for nobody,” Aunt Ruth said. “I ain’t doing nothing but telling the truth. I hope you do keep your kids, if it was up to me. I think you a good mother.”

But Ruth’s smug smile canceled out her positive words. Kyra knew that her aunt was tickled pink over this dilemma.

“I’m not calling him,” Kyra decided. Her aunt had her so riled up, her heart was racing. “Since you like talking to him, you can tell him that. Tell him to try to get a lawyer to represent his dopefiend ass. Try to take me to court with his jail record and his needle marks. Tell him to bring all of that to court. I wish he would. You can tell him I said that.”

Aunt Ruth was unfazed. “You ain’t no saint yourself, Kyra.”

Kyra’s heart froze. She stared into her aunt’s beady eyes. “Leonard told you something?”

“Kyra, everybody in Little Rock know what went on with you. And yeah, Leonard was mad. He told me a lot of stuff.”

Kyra’s nostrils flared. Her aunt was smiling, without smiling. Kyra had to assume Ruth knew everything. She looked away, remembering how bad it got in Arkansas. How bad she got. But Kyra wasn’t like that anymore. There was no court in America that would take Kat away from her, not today, no matter how much Leonard cleaned himself up.

“I’m not calling him,” Kyra stated. “And don’t give him my cellphone number.” She left the kitchen and went to check on her children.



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Kyra met Leonard four years ago. She wasn’t a total party girl back then, but she did frequent the club scene on Friday and Saturday nights a little more than she should have. She usually left Quinell with her aunt when she went out, or with her grandmother. Leonard was a regular at a club called the Shark Tank. He was a high yellow dope boy with long corn rolls, flashy jewelry and a nice wardrobe.

Leonard didn’t do too much dancing when he went out. He usually sat at a table with his partners and drank hard liquor while puffing on Newport 100s. Leonard wasn’t a boss or even a mid-level dealer, but he made wise investments and saved more money than he spent. He was never broke, and he rarely went after women. Leonard had pretty boy looks; a baby face with light brown eyes. The girls loved him. They crowded his table every Saturday night, which is why Kyra was surprised when he approached her as she exited the dance floor.

“What’s up, lil mama. Who you here with?”

Kyra smiled as she looked him up and down. Back then she was completely stuck in the hood, mentally and physically. But Kyra had no idea that she lived in a bubble. There were no single doctors or carpenters or businessmen available, at least none that she ever came in contact with. Kyra was attracted to the same type of men her girlfriends were attracted to. And in those regards, Leonard was a ghetto star.

“What’s your name?” she asked him.

“L Boogie. Or just Boogie. What’s yours?” His eyes rolled down her frame and back up. Leonard liked what he saw. Kyra wore a short skirt with a sexy top. Four guys already approached her that night. She didn’t give any of them the time of day. But Leonard had a certain appeal.

“Kyra,” she said. “What’s L Boogie? How you get that name?”

“I used to could dance,” he said.

Kyra grinned. “I never seen you dance.”

“That was a long time ago,” he said. “When I became a man, I put away my childish ways.”

Kyra didn’t know that quote was from the bible. If she had recognized it, she would’ve been turned off by a thug spitting bible verses. “What’s your real name?” she asked him.

“Leonard.”

“Can I call you Leonard?”

“What’s wrong with Boogie?”

Kyra thought his moniker was childish, but she didn’t tell him that. “I just like to call people by their real names,” she offered.

“That must mean you plan on saying my name a lot,” Leonard said. “If that’s the case, yeah. You can call me Leonard.”

“Alright.” Kyra beamed. She liked the way he talked. She liked the way he was looking at her, too. At that moment, Kyra had been single for more than four months. Her friends thought she was more than ready to get back in the saddle.

“You wanna come kick it with me at my table?” Leonard asked.

Kyra shook her head. “You got too many people over there. Plus I don’t wanna be around all that smoke.”

“You don’t smoke?”

“Nope.”

“You get high?”

“I smoked weed before.”

“We can go get a table by ourselves, if you want.”

“Alright.” Kyra was still grinning. “Let me go tell my friends, so they won’t be looking for me.”

She and Leonard got a table and kicked it together for the rest of the night. After a few drinks, Kyra wanted to dance. Leonard didn’t accompany her to the dance floor, but he watched her every move as she shook her tail feather under the disco lights. Leonard took her to Waffle House after the club closed, and he was respectful when Kyra told him she didn’t mess around on the first date.

That was one thing Kyra found endearing about Leonard. He was as rough as they came, and he handled his business in the streets. But when it came to Kyra, he was always sweet and loving. He showered her with gifts, making sure she was always the best looking woman at every place he took her.

Kyra was a year into their relationship when she discovered Leonard used heroin. He snorted it from little capsules that he bought for five to ten dollars.

Kyra wasn’t completely shocked when she caught him in the bathroom one day, because a lot guys in the neighborhood snorted boy, as it was called. Plus Leonard already drank heavily and smoked marijuana regularly. In fact, Leonard was high more times than not. Kyra was more upset because he kept his new drug of choice a secret.

“How long you been doing that?” she asked.

“About five months.”

“Why?”

“Just something to do,” Leonard said. He sat on the toilet with an empty capsule on the sink next to him. He wiped his nose. He was already starting to nod.

“Is that why you been looking so sleepy all the time?”

Leonard nodded lazily.

“You got to be careful with that stuff,” Kyra warned. “I heard it’ll take you fast.”

“I know what I’m doing,” Leonard said.

“Don’t be leaving none of that mess where Quinell can find it,” Kyra said, and that was the full extent of her drug intervention. By then Kyra loved Leonard more than she loved herself, so she never considered leaving him.

Leonard continued to snort his dope for the next year, and there were no problems. He continued to thrive in the drug game, and he always put Kyra first. Leonard was one of few dealers in the city who never cheated on his woman.

Not only did Kyra turn a blind eye to his drug abuse, but she found it beneficial in bed. Whenever Leonard snorted heroin, he developed what he called dope dick. The drug kept him hard and horny and unable to have an orgasm for hours at a time. Leonard was a sex machine, and Kyra was the only woman he had eyes for. She was so blinded by love, Kyra actually squealed with delight when she learned she was pregnant with Kat.

Unfortunately there’s no such thing as a functional heroin addict. Leonard’s drug use became more blatant because the only person he cared about pleasing had no problem with it. He began to lose money as his heroin habit jumped from $10 a day to $100. As he spiraled out of control, Leonard had no desire to leave the house to generate some type of income. By the time Kyra tried to intervene, Leonard was too far gone. He had taken to shooting his dope with a needle. Kyra watched him lose everything he had, his looks and health being the first to go.

She stayed because she loved him, and Kyra even put her family in jeopardy because of Leonard. But even today, she could not blame him fully. She understood that she made a man her whole world and allowed him to drag her all the way down with him, to the point where Kyra lost just as much as he did.

The worst part about it was Leonard wasn’t even a good man. He was a drug dealer with no plans for the future past selling more crack rocks than he sold the day before. Kyra threw her life away for a complete loser.

She was mad at Leonard, but Kyra would always be more disgusted with herself.