Chapter FORTY-ONE
Lucy rubbed her clammy palms down her skirts and practiced her speech in her head for the tenth time. It was now or never. “Cass, there’s something I must tell you.”
Cass lay snuggled in her bed, her nose pink, her handkerchief clutched in her hand. She looked up at her friend and nodded solemnly. “And there’s something I must tell you, Lucy.”
Lucy shook her head. “Please let me go first.” She’d been planning this all morning. She had to tell Cass what had happened between her and Derek. It was time. The unholy guilt nagged at her, rode her, tortured her. She must tell Cass the truth. Then Cass would understand why she could no longer be her stand-in while she was ill. Lucy mustn’t see Derek again. It was for the best. For all of them. Cass would understand, wouldn’t she? Or would Cass be angry? She couldn’t imagine Cass, pure, sweet, friendly Cass, yelling at her. The image just would not render itself in Lucy’s mind. But she supposed there was a first time for everything and regardless of the consequences, Lucy had to tell her friend the truth. Today. Now.
Cass nodded. “All right, Lucy. You go first.”
Lucy swallowed the lump in her throat and paced in front of Cass’s bed. “It’s about Derek.”
“What I wanted to say is about Derek, too,” Cass answered, sneezing daintily into the handkerchief.
Lucy stopped pacing and furrowed her brow. “What about him?”
Cass leaned back against her pillows. “Well, not Derek specifically, but what Julian said about him.”
Lucy searched Cass’s face. Her entire speech had flown from her mind. Julian said something about Derek? How was that possible? “What do you mean?”
“Oh, Lucy,” Cass said, a sad smile on her face. “I received a letter from Julian this morning. Probably his last.” She pulled the tearstained sheets of paper from underneath her coverlet and clutched them to her chest.
Lucy’s eyes went wide. She gestured to the letter. “When did you get that?”
“This morning. He’s still alive Lucy. He’s alive.” A shadow fell over her face. “At least for now.”
Lucy leaned forward to look at the letter. “What did he say?”
Cass’s voice was so soft Lucy could barely hear it. “He said good-bye to me.”
Lucy bit the back of her hand, tears welling in her eyes and running down her cheeks. “No, Cass.”
Cass swallowed hard. Lucy could tell she was fighting a losing battle to keep from sobbing. “But that wasn’t all,” she added.
Lucy grasped her friend’s hand. “What else?”
“He told me,” she swallowed, “he told me to marry Derek.”
Lucy’s heart clenched. She squeezed her eyes closed. “He … he did?”
Cass nodded. “Yes. He says Derek will be good to me and he’s a fine man. He said I could do no better.
“He asked me to promise him that I’ll marry Derek.”
Lucy pressed her hand to her belly to still the roiling there. She was going to vomit. She was certain of it. She took a deep breath. “What about the letter you wrote to him? Did Julian mention it?”
Cass glanced down and scraped at the coverlet with her fingernail. “No.”
Lucy furrowed her brow. “I don’t understand. He just ignored it?”
The tears started down Cass’s cheeks then. “Does it matter? He’s dying and he says he’s asked Derek to take care of me. Oh, Lucy, I’m so confused. I don’t know what to do.”
Lucy couldn’t breathe. She braced her hands against her knees and concentrated on moving air in and out of her lungs. “Julian is right. Derek will take excellent care of you. You must marry him.”