The Space In Between

Chapter Nine

HE LIGHTLY STROKED the side of my face with his hand, my arms and legs intertwined with his. His body heat against mine made it easy for me to not want to move from that hotel bed ever again. This time it was different. He kissed me harder, deeper. His arms forcefully flipped me over as his mouth covered every inch of my body. He was trying to forget a lot that evening. I didn’t mind. It made it easier for me to forget, too.
“I should get going…” My mind started racing trying to figure out how I would exactly get home. Ladasha and I had just paid rent, and I only had a few dollar bills left after the taxi ride over here. I didn’t know it would cost that dang much and now I was completely…
Oh my….One moan and my worries about money disappeared. Cooper started to touch me in ways that made everything better. The way he massaged every single inch of my body with only his thumbs made me want to scream his name for the rest of my life. His hands traveled to my stomach, sending shivers throughout me.
“Coop…” I whimpered as I closed my eyes. I heard a muffled growl on my neck as he continued to kiss me lower and lower…Down, down, down...
My back was ready to arch at his command as he climbed on top of me. My hips thrust towards him, begging for more attention. I didn’t want to stop him. I ran my fingertips across his back, pulling him closer to my body. His lips glazed over mine as he lifted my thighs.
His sweet whispers turned me on more and more each time. “I want you so bad,” he hissed as his tongue explored my breasts. My lips parted in time for him to slide his tongue inside. He lifted my hands and held them tightly against the mattress.
My quiet moans grew louder as the two of us grew closer to one another. His eyes locked with mine for a moment’s time before we both shut them and let our heat fuel our connection. The world became a blur. There was nothing wrong on this earth within that moment and time. For the feeling of seclusion alone, I could see myself never leaving Cooper’s side.
For the next two rounds of Cooper Davidson that occurred after the passionate kiss, I forgot all about my money worries. And I forgot about all my demons that were trying to eat at me each and every day. Soon all that was heard was our light breaths of exhaustion.
Best freaking soda pop of my life.
But it was time to go home. Before he could try to get me to stay a few rounds longer, I stood up and started to step back into my clothing.
“Let’s get breakfast tomorrow,” he proposed. I rolled my eyes to the ceiling and continued to get dressed. “Come on, you need to eat.”
“Not with you.” I laughed.
“Come on, doesn’t that sound good?” He stood up and wrapped his arms around me, nibbling on my ear as my eyes closed. That felt good. “Eggs, bacon, muffins…Come on, Andie.”
My mind filled with the image of Derrick calling my name for the last time ever. I had shivers running through me—unnerving memories taking over my brain. My eyes opened and a wave of coldness washed over me as I whispered, “Panda.” Cooper stepped back, unsure how he had offended me. I smiled and shrugged my shoulders as I put on my jacket. “It’s nothing personal.”
“It’s definitely personal.” He could see the hurt in my eyes, but I ignored his expression and walked towards the door. Crap. How was I getting home? All I knew was I couldn’t stay here any longer. Not with the way my emotions were lighting up. I stepped into the hallway and started walking down towards the elevator, but froze when my arm was grabbed.
“Here, take a taxi home,” Cooper said, handing me cash. I felt ashamed and shook my head.
“You don’t have to pay for what we did.”
Cooper narrowed his eyes and looked at me as if I were crazy. “I’m not. I’m paying to get you home safe.” He wrapped my head in his hands and kissed my forehead. I tried to hold the tears back. But I didn’t take his money; it felt way too soon to be taking anything from him.
I pushed it back to him and smiled. “Thank you, but I’m good.” My voice cracked as I said it and continued walking. A guy held the elevator for me and I got the feeling I would be taking that elevator ride and walk of shame quite often.





A SIGH OF relief filled my body as I stepped out of the hotel building and saw a taxi waiting a little ways down the street. Walking over to it, I had to tap on the window. It appeared the driver had snoozed off, and he was startled when he opened his eyes to see me.
“Hey, sorry. Are you running? I could use a ride.”
He sat up in his seat and smiled a warm grin to me. He was an older man, probably in his fifties or sixties. He nodded at me and told me to hop in. Sliding into the back of the taxi, I gave him directions and allowed my body to sink into the hard cushions as I closed my eyes.
“What’s wrong?”
I opened my eyes to find the driver speaking to me. What was he talking about? He was looking at me through his rearview mirror, eyes filled with worry. He motioned to my eyes which had tears falling. Crap. I quickly wiped them and gazed at his identification at the front of the car. His name was Joe, and he was a complete stranger, asking me what was wrong. Did I really look that broken?
“I’m sorry, didn’t mean to pry. It’s just…You’re such a young girl. No need to look so sad.”
He had no clue. I gave him a short smile, informing him that I was fine. It turned out I was a liar.
“I’ve been there before, too. A dark place. You wonder how things are ever going to be all right, ya know? But they will be. You gotta trust in the process. No one can be sad forever. Not even you.”
I wished I could believe that. But sitting in the taxi, I was growing sick, watching the amount of money add up on the clock. When Joe pulled up to my apartment building, I sighed. I was five dollars short. I would have to run upstairs to borrow some cash from Ladasha.
I stepped out and went to hand him the money, telling him I would be right back with the rest. He pushed the cash back to me. “Keep it. Take care of yourself, all right? And if you ever need a ride, give your ol' buddy Joe a call. I know how easy it is to get lost in the Big Apple, and I'm pretty good at helping people find their way home.” He handed me his card, delivered me a warm grin, and pulled off.
After that night, Joe became my official driver for my nightly flings with Cooper. He never charged me, which was sweet, but he also never judged me, which was even sweeter. He spoke to me about his wife, how much he loved her, how much she cared for him. He spoke of their struggles and how they worked through the issues no matter what. They had been married for almost forty years, and he prayed for forty more.
I wondered sometimes if I would ever get married.





DERRICK STOOD ON stage in front of the microphone, looking handsome as ever. When he performed he became the song, transforming into the lyrics, fully committing to the words. I just turned twenty-one, so I was filled with excitement to see him perform for the first time in a bar. He was so amazing up there. Such a natural.
A few of his friends filed in and surrounded me, looking as proud as I was to see him up there. His best friend Steve slugged me in the arm and before I could smack him, he pulled me into a hug.
“Welcome back home, soon to be Mrs. Stevens.” Steve said as he sat down next to me.
“Thanks. Good to be back, as always.” My eyes looked up to Derrick who was grinning in my direction and I turned to Steve, “Does he ever talk about how he misses me?”
Steve picked up his beer and rolled his eyes. “Don’t do that Andie. I’m not your messenger boy.” I fed Steve my best puppy dog eyes and whimpered. “He wrote you a new song.”
My eyes widened with excitement. I loved when he wrote songs about me. I bit my bottom lip and looked up to my baby. “He loves me, huh?”
Steve cleared his throat and nodded, chugging his drink. “The best way he knows how.”
Derrick finished his song and spoke into his mic. “A big thanks to everyone coming out tonight for your love and support. Now I’m gonna take a small break and go have a drink with my future wife.”
He slid in next to me and kissed my neck. “You did amazing.” I beamed with pride.
“I’m so happy you’re here. I called you earlier, but it went to voicemail. Figured you weren’t going to make it.” He smiled and picked up my cell phone.
“Of course I was going to make it, don’t be dumb.” I warned him. Kissing my nose, he went searching through my phone. “What are you doing?” I wondered out loud.
He held up his finger to me and began speaking into my cell phone. “Hey! You have reached the voicemail of the soon-to-be Mrs. Andie Stevens. She cannot get to the phone right now, but leave her a message and she’ll call you back! Bye!”
I smirked at his corniness and grabbed my cell phone back from him.
Mrs. Stevens. I could get used to that.





I SAT ON the couch, looking at all the missed calls on my cell phone from my mom. Seven. It had been awhile since I’d spoken with her, but I couldn’t listen to her sob on the telephone anymore. I looked at the number of voicemails on my phone, which was exactly seven, too. Rolling my eyes I prepared to listen to my mom beg me to come home.
“Hi, Anders, it's your mother. I was just calling to see how you are doing. I haven't heard from you in a while. I wanted to see if you were able to make it to Thanksgiving. I know you said you were busy with your jobs…but…we would really love to have you. We’ve never had a Thanksgiving without you…”
I placed the collar of my shirt into my mouth and bit down on it, as if to hold back my tears. “It’s already sad enough that Derrick’s family won’t be joining us. His mom is pretty lost. But to not have you at the table…” Her sniffles were heard. Geez Mom…
“We all miss you. Whenever I say I want to call you at work your dad refuses to let me. Says it’s not that kind of job. Daddy says he loves you and is keeping you in his prayers. I love you, too. Call me when you can. And honey, you should really change your voicemail.”
I closed my cell phone and glanced at the coffee table in front of me. Ladasha always left her cell phone out for me to use for one reason and one reason only. As I lifted it, a level of shame washed over me. I began to dial my cell phone and listened to my voicemail. The moment I heard Derrick’s voice speak to me through the telephone, my heart skipped a few beats.
“Hey! You have reached the voicemail of the soon-to-be Mrs. Andie Stevens. She cannot get to the phone right now, but leave her a message and she’ll call you back! Bye!”
I ended the call, bit my bottom lip, and dialed again. This went on as long as I could allow it to until I picked up my cell and texted for a beverage of sorts.