The Space In Between

Chapter Five

PROMISES. PROMISES TO love one another. To pick up the milk on the way home. To not raise your children like your parents raised you. To follow each other’s dreams. Promises to fight at least once a month over some mediocre crap—and follow it up with some killer make-up sex. To be with one another forever and always. Til death do us part. Til death do us part…
Screw promises.
I just got a promotion.
It smelled like crap in this place—a miniature dressing room with too much hairspray, too many perfumes, and an overload of glitter. I stood in front of the full-length mirror that had a feathery boa lying across it and studied my body. I was wearing nothing more than a safari hat, a black trench coat, and five-inch-high stiletto heels. I hadn’t even noticed I was digging my fake nails into the palms of my hands until Ladasha came over and placed her hands on my shoulders.
“You don’t have to do this, Andrea,” she said. I guessed she could see the fear in my eyes. I shook my head. Our rent was falling behind and she had already stretched herself thin to make me comfortable in New York City. Plus, I was the one who ran off our other roommate with my issues. I wasn’t going to let Ladasha down again.
“Don’t worry, Shot Girl. I got you a good one tonight.” Jasmine grinned as she sat at her cramped makeup table. She was the best dancer in this whole place, and our boss, Roger, made sure to always give her the closing number on stage. Jasmine made more money in a week than some people working in Hollywood, but she also had a side job that helped up her profit. Her thick Brooklyn accent and hoarse voice filled the air as she applied more mascara onto her outrageously fake lashes. “If you’re lucky, you’ll get him to take you to his place afterwards. You’ll be eatin’ off that money for the whole month.”
My stomach bubbled up as I shot a dirty look her way. “I don’t sleep with guys.” The thought alone made me think of Derrick, and instant guilt hit me.
Jasmine stood up from her seat and chuckled as she walked to me with her jet black hair falling down to her waist. “Wasn’t it just yesterday you didn’t even strip, Shot Girl? What you waiting for? You waiting for God to pay your bills? I don’t know about you but I’m gonna get mine right now, and I suggest you do the same.”
With that, she left me standing there, filled with an overwhelming feeling of vomit trying to escape from my gut. Ladasha rolled her eyes and told me not to listen to Jasmine, but how could I not? She was right— just yesterday I wasn’t a stripper.
I looked at myself and watched my bottom lip quiver. Ladasha tried to convince me there was another way to get the money for rent and I shouldn’t worry about such things. But I wasn’t ready to back down. I could do it. I just needed her to give me a few of her comforting words to ease the freak out that was about to be released into the world.
Ladasha could tell how seriously I was in need of a pep talk so she delivered her best one. “Pretty Woman,” she said.
“What?”
“Pretty Woman. Name the rules. Before she was stupid and went and fell in love and got rich and shit.” She was serious. Most of Ladasha’s best pep talks were based off movies. She was addicted to all movies, and it would be a shock if she didn’t know what was playing in the nearest theater.
I nodded as I thought over the rules of Pretty Woman. “No personal information. No kissing on the lips. No second meet up.”
“Unless it’s Richard Gere,” Ladasha tossed in.
“It’s not Richard Gere.”
“Listen. Just go in there and be your super sexy self. Shake your booty. Collect the cash. If it’s a freak, have Frank handle him. And leave. Easy!”
Right. Easy. Pretty Woman rules. I thanked my friend and left the dressing room. Walking through the strip club, I ignored the howls from the hungry perverts coming my way. I felt like a piece of meat about to be tossed into the ring with a pack of lions. As I approached the VIP rooms that had Frank, the security guard, standing in front of the door, I let out a halfway smile.
“You doing a VIP room, Andrea?” he questioned. I informed him it was a test drive; he nodded and opened the door. “You got fifteen minutes. After that, I grab you out.” I closed my eyes and did a quick prayer to God that it wasn’t a creep. Please, God. Don’t send me a motherfreakin’ creep.
I stepped into the room in my shiny heels and Frank closed the door behind me. When I opened my eyes and stared at the man sitting across from me, I gasped. He was beautiful. He wore a button-down black long-sleeved shirt with charcoal slacks. Even with the clothing, I realized how perfectly made his body was. He quickly rose to his feet and started speaking.
“Hi,” he said as he reached his hand out to me for a handshake. I stood there, confused. Did strippers normally shake hands with their ‘client’? How did I know? I was only a stripper-in-training after all.
“Right.” He pulled his arm back and placed both hands in his slacks. Involuntarily, my eyes watched his hips start to rock back and forth. “So, yeah. I don’t normally do this, but…yeah.” He murmured to himself and cussed under his breath. “My manager thought it would be a good idea. A new start, a fresh take…”
Did he not recognize me? He looked so different from the last time I saw him in person. Sure, I was only thirteen, but his dimples hadn’t changed. His crooked smile still remained the same.
Cooper Davidson had been sculpted by the gods. His tan, smooth skin, his low-buzzed blond hair, and his green intense eyes were like the ones of fairy tales. His lips were able to create a grin that made every woman melt and every straight man jealous. And to top it off, the gods had given him a voice box with a southern drawl that made all of the girls of my hometown crazy when he would come visit his cousin during the summers.
“You don’t remember me?” I whispered as I stepped closer to him. Sure, my hair was going through a strange gothic-black, short-cut phase, which was much different than my usual blond, long waves. But still. I was still me. What was I thinking? Of course he wouldn’t remember me…
Cooper stared at me and raised an eyebrow, his mind tracking through his past. My eyes followed his mouth, watching him bite his bottom lip and step closer. He stared into my blue eyes with such curiosity floating around in his greens. I saw it happen—the moment he remembered who I was. And then I remembered who I was. I was officially a stripper in training. A wave of embarrassment washed over my face. My eyes shifted to the ground. I didn’t feel worthy to look his way. I was so ashamed of the path I had traveled in the past months.
Cooper took a finger, lifted my chin up, and grinned widely. “Andie Evans.”
I cringed a bit, but I smiled. “Andrea. I go by Andrea now.”
He nodded. “Of course. Holy shit. How the hell are you?!” He pulled me into a tight hug and held me close. It felt good to be held. It had been so long since…
I pulled away and released a sad grin. A short gasp fell from my lips at the touch of his soft fingers brushing away tears that started falling from my eyes. My heart landed in my throat, filled with nerves and worry. The idea of my mom and dad finding out about my job was terrifying, yet Cooper quickly eased my fears. “I’ll never say a word. I promise. Holy crap. Andrea Evans as I live and breathe. It’s been, what? Ten years?” We were both in a state of shock. He took a seat and I sat across from him, removing my stupid safari hat.
“Ten years. You went to become a famous photographer and I went to become…” I laughed at myself. The red velvet walls in the room with the dimmed sex lighting told him exactly what I’d become.
“You look beautiful.” He praised me. He hadn’t changed a bit; he was as charmingly sweet as he’d been when he delivered me my first kiss on the cheek at the age of seven. “Last time I saw you, you were falling in love with a guy that wasn’t me.” He smirked.
I nodded my head. “Derrick Stevens.”
“Ah! That’s the jerk’s name! How is Derrick Stevens doing nowadays? Fat? Unemployed? Gay?” He laughed in a joking manner.
I shook my head, resting my hands in my lap. “Dead.”
Cooper’s eyes widened in horror as Frank knocked on the door and opened it to inform us that our nice ‘lap dance’ was over. I looked to Frank and then over to Cooper. He was frozen with a distressed look. I sighed, knowing I couldn’t leave him like that. I didn’t know why, but something inside of me felt like he deserved my attention. Something wanted me to stay in the room. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but it was an urge that I didn’t want to walk away from. Even if my mind hoped to run for the hills, my body was content with its whereabouts.
I turned to the security guard and gave him my fakest grin and a wink. “We’re gonna need a little bit more time, Frank.”
Frank closed the strip club VIP door and my eyes stayed on Cooper. The poor guy looked as if he killed Derrick himself. I almost laughed, but knew it would be inappropriate. Only a girl who was emotionally damaged to the core would laugh at such a situation.
“I’m sorry, what’s funny?” Cooper’s eyes filled with concern. I arched an eyebrow and touched my fingertips to my mouth. It was curved into a grin where uncontrollable giggles were escaping. I shook myself and stopped laughing. Nothing was funny. It wasn’t long until the silence grew haunting and Cooper replaced the dead air with questions.
“When? What happened? Do you want to talk about it?”
Six months ago. A car accident. No, never.
I nudged him in the knee, needing a change in subject. “So what have you been up to?”
His lips parted as if he wanted to speak but they shut fast. He was handsome, but the twitch in his eyebrow showed me he was also in need of repair on the inside. An overwhelming need to know more washed over me. Could it be that someone was as messed up emotionally as me? Did he have a story, too? I wanted to know. No, I needed to know. I needed to not feel so alone for a moment in my life. My eyes pleaded for him to continue his thoughts. He cleared his throat and bit the tip of his thumb.
“I left my wife.”
I watched as his face deepened into a shade of red. It was a somewhat new hurt inside of him, I could tell. His beautiful eyes told a story of sorrows and regrets—something I understood. It was my turn to ask the questions. “When? What happened? Do you want to talk about it?”
Five months ago. Tom Reed. No, never.
I glanced down to my hand resting against his leg; it must have landed there when I tried to give him some comfort after hearing that he was going through a divorce. I moved it away fast, feeling as if I had somehow cheated on my nonexistent relationship.
Frank pounded on the door to the VIP room and reopened it. “Andrea. Times up! Seriously!” He was probably getting heat from Roger. I could tell because Frank would never raise his voice to anyone unless his boss was raising his voice to him. Cooper stood up, pulled out his wallet, and handed Frank a stack of bills. The guard looked down and counted the bills quickly with his eyes before slowly closing the door.
“So you moved to New York?” he asked me, reclaiming his seat. I nodded and explained how I needed to get away from the small town. He understood, remembering what a gossiping place I grew up in. There was a silence filling the room. For the longest time it felt as if we were staring at each other and a part of me was strangely all right with that idea.
“You wanna get out of here?” Cooper asked.
I laughed, nodding. He must have been able to see the need for escapism in my eyes. I sure as heck saw it in his. “Absolutely.”





MY HANDS SHOOK as I placed the key into the door and turned the knob. Cooper stood behind me, patiently waiting. I know he noticed, but he didn’t mention the small limp I had in my leg. It wasn’t as bad as before, but it was still something someone couldn’t miss. As we walked into the small, crammed apartment I welcomed him to my home.
“It’s nice.”
“It’s not.” I laughed. I walked to the kitchen and opened the fridge, “You want a drink? A beer?”
“No thanks. I’m not a big drinker nowadays.” I looked into the fridge and realized there weren’t any beers anyways. Ladasha must have taken the last one, which was fine—she was the one who bought them. Closing the refrigerator door, I looked down, realized I was still wearing my trench coat, and remembered that underneath it I was only sporting a leopard print bra and thong. Horrified, I turned, on a mission to go change. Before I could make my way to my bedroom, Cooper’s hand had somehow found mine.
My body tingled at his touch, and I cussed for allowing myself to feel anything of the sort. His southern accent was somewhat hidden from his life in New York, but I heard it creep out as he spoke to me. “I’m sorry about Derrick. My gosh, Andrea. I couldn’t imagine. I’m so sorry.”
I looked down at our hands and my heart picked up its speed. I couldn’t stop thinking about what was going to happen next. What was going to happen next?! He pulled me closer to him. So close I could feel his breath against my cheek…So close I could have sworn our lips were touching. I allowed my eyes to shut as he lifted my chin. With every exhale he took, I inhaled his breaths. Time kept moving, but we stood still. Allowing our breaths to be all that were heard, all that were felt.
“I’m broken, Cooper,” I whispered. If he were to let go of my hands, I was certain I would shatter into a million pieces. His touch was the only thing holding me together.
“Me too.” He inched my face closer to his, but he didn’t kiss me. No, his lips lingered around my face as I slightly parted my mouth more. When I lifted my eyes, they met with his. The intense green eyes I was losing myself in made a small sigh escape me. He studied every part of my face. He ran a finger across my upper lip and then traced the bottom. Over and over again. Starting from the left and slowly moving to the right. I placed my hands against his chest, not wanting to tumble from his simple gesture. Yes…It was simple, but powerful, that small touch.
He stroked my short hair behind my ears and kissed my forehead. Gentle and loving caresses to my face made me long for his taste, yet I knew he wouldn’t make the first move, out of mere respect. I pulled his lips closer to mine and nodded, granting him permission.
What was I doing? What was I feeling? All I knew was that whenever he touched me, I didn’t feel alone.
He sheltered my mouth with his, which was enough to make my body grow weak. Yet he was there to catch me. One of his hands traveled to my lower back, his fingers massaging me. As his tongue began to explore mine, a light moan escaped from my lips. All my life I had only kissed one man, but I knew I could secretly get used to kissing the handsome soul in front of me. And that thought alone terrified me.
He led me to the couch, thrusting his body on top of mine. His mouth began to travel down to my neck, kissing me with nice pecks and sucking me gently with each new location. My toes curled into the couch cushion and I couldn’t stop from arching my back as I longed for more. He placed his hand on my bare leg and began to travel under the trench coat up to my thigh. Everything inside of me heated up more and more at his touch. I lost all connections to the real world. It was just the two of us. Sampling each other. Discovering each other.
“Coop…” I whispered. With immediate care, his eyes shot to mine and he stopped his actions. A level of guilt filled his eyes, which made him even more attractive. I shook my head, pulled his face closer to mine, and murmured, “Bed.” His guilt vanished with the taste of my lips. He lifted me up and carried me down the hall as I wrapped my legs around him and rested upon his strong body.
I needed Cooper that night and I could tell he needed me just as much. It was our escape from reality. Time didn’t exist when I was with him that night. There were no yesterdays and no tomorrows. There was no thought involved, just passion. One kiss after another. One embrace made everything else seem meaningless just for a few moments. My mind was emptied. The feeling of overthinking every little detail of life vanished. The replaying of the accident wasn’t happening within my head during those moments. Yes, we both were in need of some space between our all too messed up realities. Real life was too tough to face, and right now Cooper was forgetting about his drama in the world and I was forgetting about Derrick.
Derrick.
My eyes slowly opened to find Cooper kissing my nose. We’d finished our escape from reality. Our bodies spread out on my bed, clothes scattered across the floor, and my eyes shifted away from the handsome man lying next to me. And I remembered.
Derrick. I felt dirty. The same dirtiness washed over Cooper’s face as we sat up in the bed. The night’s autumn breeze was chillier than most nights as it flew past my open window. I quickly stood to shut it. All the heat that had run through my body a few minutes ago was long gone, and I was freezing.
Bending down, I wrapped a sheet around my body and handed Cooper his shirt. I couldn’t even hold in my smile as I watched him stand from the bed. He had the most perfect butt I’d ever seen. I couldn’t find the strength to look away as he slid his boxers on—he was gorgeous. I was torn. My heart was crying out as the pains of my previous actions were now creeping into my mind, yet at the same time I wanted round two of Cooper Davidson.
“I can’t believe we just did that,” he stated as he continued to get dressed. I couldn’t believe it either.
I had a feeling Cooper wasn’t one to partake in random flings. And it wasn’t extremely random what we’d done— we knew each other after all. We’d grown up together. Well, kind of.
“I don’t know if you felt it…I mean it just felt like…” He paused and shook his head as he continued to button his long-sleeved shirt. My softened expression probably showed him I’d felt it too. It felt like an escape. A way out for a moment in time. But the moment passed, and time had a way of never standing still.
He looked at me in my sheet and studied my curves. I aggressively pulled the sheet tighter to my body and watched as his eyes shifted away from me. He clearly could tell how uncomfortable I was.
“Let me take you out to dinner,” he suggested.
“No.”
He turned to face me and delivered a smile which made every inch of my skin tingle once again. How did he do that? “Why not?”
“It's against the rules.”
“What rules?”
The rules I had already pretty much destroyed. The Pretty Woman rules. No personal information. That kind of went out of the window when I walked into the VIP room and saw him standing before me.
No kissing on the lips.
Crap.
And no second meet ups. I could hold up to that one. I felt pretty silly thinking about the rules, but Ladasha had taught me them, and it was my duty to follow through with at least one of the rules. And going out to dinner with gorgeous Cooper Davidson was not allowed.
“Come on, tell me. What rules?” He was interested as he raised one of his eyebrows. Everything he did was sexy. The sweat dripping down his forehead? Sexy. The way he bit the tip of his thumb? Sexy. The way he growled in my ear while nibbling it? Sweet mother of everything righteous…He could call me names, ignore my existence, tell me to piss off, and it would still make my body want him to claim me all over again. But, he would never do those things. He was too much of a southern gentleman.
I blushed at the thoughts filling my head, and lowered my voice to answer his question. “The Pretty Woman rules.”
He drifted over to me, sporting his perfectly perfect dimples. “You do know how that movie ends, right?” Cooper turned away from me and slipped into his pants. I couldn’t help but let a small grin slip from my lips. I realized the expression of pleasure plastered on my face and shook it off as Cooper kept talking. “I just…I don’t want to be one of those guys. I want to take you out to—“
“YOU BITCH!” was heard from the living room. Ladasha was home. “How the hell did you get Roger to let you get a damn promotion without even staying the whole freakin’ night?! And how the hell did you get someone to pay six hundred dollars for a damn lap dance?!” she hollered.
My eyes widened, looking to Cooper. “Six hundred dollars?!” I paused. Well, he got what he paid for.
“I picked up a pizza on the way back, dude. Seriously though. Teach me your…” Ladasha barged into my bedroom before I had a chance to tell Cooper to somehow turn invisible. The piece of Brooklyn style pizza in my roommate’s hand froze in mid-air as Ladasha saw me wrapped in a sheet. Her eyes landed on Cooper and she finished her sentence. “…secrets…”
Her eyes bugged out when she realized there was a man standing in my bedroom. “What did I miss?” she questioned as the cheese on her slice of pizza slid to the floor.
“I should probably get going,” Cooper said, and I agreed before he even finished his thought. We wedged our way past Ladasha, who was fast to follow behind us. Cooper turned to me once we reached the front door, smiling. “I would really like to see you again though, Andrea. I’ve never done this before.” He paused and his cheeks turned rosy with embarrassment. “Well, I’ve done this, just not like this. Ya know?”
He was cute, trying to find the right words. But I couldn’t help but feel a knot in my stomach growing larger and larger. “Coop,” I whispered, trying to make him understand. But his green eyes lit up at the sound of my voice. He rested his hand on his chin and studied me.
“Andie,” he whispered back. I didn’t correct him. To tell you the truth it sounded kind of nice. I opened the front door and allowed him to kiss me on the forehead before he exited. “I’ll call you.”
“Don’t,” I begged.
He grinned and strolled down the hallway. I could still see his dimples in my head as he walked away. I stepped into the hallway and looked in his direction. “No really, Cooper. Don’t.”
Tossing his hand up in the air, he waved goodbye to me. I sighed. That goodbye wave was sexy, too. And that would probably be a problem. I stepped back into my apartment, closed the door, and slipped down to the ground. Ladasha walked over and slid down to join me.
“Was there an extremely sexy man in our apartment?”
“Yep.”
“And you…had sexy time with him?” she questioned.
“Yep.”
A level of silence filled the room. We sat there, both a bit stunned. Finally Ladasha found the ideal words to say. “Take that, Richard Gere!” she hollered and stood up to do a victorious dance. It involved a lot of awkward air humping and invisible ass slapping. I couldn’t help but chuckle at my overreacting friend. As I glanced at her, my smile faded when I realized what I’d done. Ladasha also figured out what I’d done and her smile evaporated.
“Andrea…” Her voice was soft, filled with concern; I shook my head and stared forward.
I ‘d just had sex with Cooper Davidson.
Crap.





I WAS DIRTY. Turning on the shower, I stepped inside as the water began to hit my skin in random spurts. Picking up the soap, I started rubbing my ghost-white skin, scrubbing harder and harder, trying to erase the past few hours from my memory.
I promise to love you without reservation. Comfort you in times of distress. Encourage you to achieve all of your goals.
No…
I scrubbed more intensely, watching my skin turn red, trying to make the guilt that had somehow sunk into my soul disappear. My tears began to mix with the water droplets. There was no way to tell the liquid streams apart from one another. I let my body fall to the tub and sat there. I sobbed into my hands, allowing the water crystals to slap me with the reality I was now facing.





MICHELLE WAS FORCEFULLY dragging a kid over with her as she came to visit Eric and me. The kid looked a few years older than me, maybe nine or ten.
“You guys! This is my cousin Cooper. He’s spending the summer here because his dad is crazy.” Michelle sang, bouncing up and down. He had a camera hanging around his neck and shifted his feet on the ground, not looking up at us.
“What’s with the camera?” I asked, watching as his eyes rose up to meet mine. My tummy started swirling around as I watched his lips curve into a nice grin and his dimples appeared.
“My mama gave it to me, before I left. What’s your name?”
“Andie Evans. This is my brother Eric.” Cooper didn’t look over to acknowledge Eric, he just kept smiling at me, making me feel a bit weird. “Why are ya looking at me like that?”
His cheeks reddened and he went back to looking to the ground, kicking around dirt. “Just never seen anything like you before, that’s all.” His eyebrows frowned as he slapped his face. “I meant that in a good way. It came out wrong.”
Michelle rolled her eyes and began walking near Eric. “Come on you guys, let’s go to the park. Last one there buys everyone ice cream!” Eric and she went running off down the street.
Cooper cleared his throat and held up his camera in my direction. “Can I take your picture?”
I ran my fingers through my hair, and prepped myself for my first ever photo shoot. Placing my hands on my hips, I turned to Cooper, begging him to only capture my good side.
His hand ran over his face and his green eyes smiled my way. “Don’t worry. I don’t think I can miss it.”