The Scars of Us(Scars Series)

Kaiya had been coming to class for a few weeks, and her technique and form had improved greatly. But when we practiced certain defense maneuvers, her body stiffened and her grip was tight, her apprehension evident in her tense muscles and wary eyes.

She had become more guarded, keeping some distance between us and pulling away when I touched her for too long. I tried giving her the space I had promised, but it was getting harder with each passing day.

The sexual tension between us had increased over the weeks. Every detail of her silky skin had been committed to memory from touching her so much, making me want her even more. Since Kaiya was only comfortable working with me, that meant constant, close contact, which I didn’t mind at all, but she was always resisting, always fighting me, both in class, and in my personal advances. I could see the desire all over her face, especially in those eyes, but she always fought it, fought what I knew we were both feeling. My little warrior.

I hadn’t realized I had so much self-control—I wanted Kaiya more than I had ever wanted another woman. Her resistance only made me want her that much more. Any other girl would’ve been in and out of my bed by now, but Kaiya was different—I couldn’t do the same with her that I did with other women. That confused and irritated the shit out of me. My patience was running thin, and I wasn’t going to keep playing games with her. I’ll have her soon.

After working on the bags, I asked the group about what self-defense technique they wanted to work on. One of the students raised her hand. “Can we work on getting out of a choke?”

The other students voiced their agreement, but Kaiya stiffened. Her eyes widened, and her lips tightened as our gazes locked.

“Okay, get with your usual partners.” While everyone else split up on the mats, I walked over toward Kaiya, keeping my eyes fixed on her. “Everything okay?”

“I don’t know if I can do this.” She looked away as she reached for her neck. She stopped herself and pulled her hand away before looking up at me. “I don’t like having my throat touched.”

My eyes went to her throat. A thin scar spread about two inches long against her pale skin. I had to be looking at it just right to see it, or else it would be undetectable in the natural creases and curves of her neck. How the f*ck did she get that? I knew she wouldn’t tell me what had happened, so I didn’t ask… yet.

Rubbing her arms, I leaned down a little so that my face was in line with hers, forcing her to bring her downcast eyes to look at me. “We can take it slow. I’m only trying to help you learn how to defend yourself—I’m not going to hurt you.” I’d never hurt you.

Even though she nodded, she still looked uncertain as she took a deep breath and shook out her hands.

“You can attack me first, and I can show you how to get out of it, like always.”

“Okay,” she replied softly. The other instructors had already started with the rest of the students, so I prepared to demonstrate the techniques with Kaiya. I lay down on the mat and patted my abs. “Get on me.”


She glanced around nervously, biting her lip before finally straddling me, framing my torso with her legs. Even though we had done this several times before, she was still embarrassed and self-conscious. She nervously looked down at me as her cheeks turned pink, and I wished we were doing this without clothes on, just like I wanted to every time. “Now, choke me.”

“What? No!” she exclaimed. “I… I can’t do that to you.” She crossed her arms over her chest.

“Just do it—you don’t have to squeeze hard. I’m going to walk you through the steps to get out of the hold.” I reassured as I softly rubbed the sides of her thighs.

Slowly, she brought her delicate hands down to my neck before applying slight pressure. “Too hard—can’t breathe!” I gasped as I pretended to choke.

Inhaling a sharp breath, she instantly jerked her hands to away as her eyes grew wide. My body rumbled with laughter, and her eyes narrowed as she smacked me on the shoulder. “That’s not funny, Ryker!”

I continued to laugh as Kaiya crossed her arms across her chest again, trying to stifle a smile. Once I stopped, I apologized, “I’m sorry. I was trying to get you to loosen up. I promise I’ll behave. Choke me again.”

The smile she’d been fighting broke through as she leaned over to grab my throat again. I wish she smiled more. She squeezed my neck, bringing my attention back to the exercise. “The first technique I’m going to show you is using your forearm. Bring it up and over, parallel to your chest,” I said, modeling as I talked. “Then, slam it down across their forearms and push. Usually when someone is being choked, the attacker is just out of reach. This move will make them come closer to you, so you can grab them, like this, and force them off you.” I easily tossed her off me onto the mat.

“Yeah, it’s easy for you—I’m lighter than you.” She rolled over and sat up as her eyes looked over my arms. “Plus you have all those muscles. How am I supposed to overpower you? Or any guy for that matter?”

“Let me show you again, and I’ll explain how. Get back on me,” I instructed as I lay back down.

Straddling me again, she closed her hands around my neck. F*ck, I love how she feels on top of me. Images of her riding me, head tipped back and eyes closed as she moaned my name played through my head.

“Ryker?” Kaiya softly spoke, snapping me from my thoughts. Our eyes locked and her lips curved up, drawing my attention to them. Damn, I want to kiss her again.

“Sorry.” I cleared my throat. Bringing my arm up, I braced it against hers. As I pushed against them, I asked, “Feel how your weight is forced to shift when I do this?” When she nodded, I continued, “I’m not pressing that hard, so even if your attacker is stronger, the pressure will still affect their balance and move them close enough for you to grab something.”

Pushing harder, I forced her arms to bend, bringing her closer to me. Our faces were only inches away from each other; I had to stop myself from closing the small gap to touch her lips, wanting to taste her after so long.

Her breath hitched as our gazes met; her eyes always revealed so much, even when she tried to hide everything away. Fear and longing swam in those bright, blue eyes, and I wanted to lose myself in them—in her.

Breaking the haze we were in, she darted her eyes away and hoarsely asked, “What next?”

What were we doing again? Oh, yeah. “You grab anything you can to help you push them off of you—face, shoulder, arm, clothes, anything.”

“And if I can’t get them off?”

“Then, you kick, bite, scratch, punch, whatever. Do everything that you can do to defend yourself. Usually, that will catch your attacker off guard, allowing you to get them off of you,” I stated firmly.

Kaiya squirmed against me, and I realized that my free hand had found her hip. Slowly pulling away, I grazed the tips of my fingers over the skin exposed from her tank top riding up.

Shuddering a shaky breath, she pulled away before dismounting me. I propped myself up on my elbows. “Ready to try?”

“I think so,” she replied. Her tone was unsure, but her eyes held a look of determination.

“We’ll take it slow. Lay down.” When she complied, I continued, “I’m going to get on top of you, okay?”

We locked eyes as she nodded. As I straddled her, I assured, “I’m not going to hurt you.”

“I know,” she softly replied with a small smile.

I’m making progress here.

“I’m going to put my hands around your neck now. Do what I just demonstrated to escape, okay?” I studied her face, waiting to make sure she was ready.

She gave me a clipped nod. “Okay.”

I kept my eyes fixed on hers as I gently placed my hands around her neck, applying light pressure. My thumb brushed over the small, raised scar, causing anger to swarm me like a pissed off hive of bees. I’d like to meet the a*shole who did this in a dark alley.

Kaiya began to implement the technique from beneath me, but she couldn’t throw me off. After several attempts, she huffed in frustration. “See, I told you that I wouldn’t be able to get you off of me.”

“Remember to use your whole body,” I suggested with a chuckle.

Her eyes furrowed in determination as we attempted the maneuver again. Once she forced my arms to bend, she used her hips to try and vault me off of her while pushing them up into my crotch. My cock began to harden, especially when she started moving side to side, trying to get me off of her. F*ck, how does she do this to me?

Stilling beneath me, Kaiya’s eyes widened, and her creamy skin flushed as she panted heavily. “I’m not doing it right.”

“Oh, you’re doing something right,” I winked.

Softly giggling, she redirected the topic back to the maneuver. “You know what I mean. I’m not getting you off.”

“Not yet, but if you keep doing that you will.” I said suggestively as my eyes roamed over her face.

Her lips quirked up even though she ignored my comment, keeping her focus on the training. “What should I do?”

I wanted to continue playing with her, but she was really trying to execute the move, so I focused back on my job. “As you buck your hips, use your arms to help you. Push me off at the same time you’re pushing up with your hips. Use that momentum together in the direction you want to throw me. Let’s try again from the beginning.”

Sitting up, I waited for her to readjust before starting the routine over. This time, she was able to throw me partially off of her. I landed on her right side, my legs still over hers.

“If this ever happens, which is likely since you’re so small, you need to go crazy once you’re in this position. Do everything you can to hurt your attacker—hammer-fists, kicks, knees, elbows, anything. Do whatever it takes to push them the rest of the way off of you. Again,” I firmly said, going back into instructor mode, trying to keep my attention off her sweaty skin and how it would feel as I f*cked her.

We practiced the move a few more times, and I couldn’t help but notice how she tensed every time I placed my hands back on her neck. I really wanted to find out why, to make sure no one was hurting her.

As I helped her up off the mat, I asked, “What happened to your neck?”

Jerking her hand away, her face tightened with anxiety as she snapped, “None of your business.”


Turning away, she began to storm off towards her stuff. Shit. Following her, I said, “Don’t be upset. I just want to make sure no one is hurting you.” When I caught up to her, I pulled her to a stop and placed my hands on her shoulders. I lowered my head to look into her eyes, hoping she would see my genuine concern. “You’d tell me if someone was hurting you right? Even if it was Kamden?”

Shock replaced some of the anger in her eyes as she sighed in defeat. “I’m sorry. I just…” She looked away, shaking her head. “I can’t talk about it. But no, no one’s hurting me, especially not Kamden.” She grabbed her bag and turned to walk away again. “Thank you for your concern, though.”

Grabbing her hand, I stopped her. “I want you to know that you can come to me if you need help, okay? Not just as your instructor, but as a friend, too.”

A warm smile spread over her lips. “Thanks,” she replied softly as she squeezed my hand.

I pulled her closer to me, to where her tits pressed against me. A strand of hair had fallen loose from her ponytail, and it dangled in her face. Reaching to tuck it behind her ear, I caressed her cheek with my palm. Her eyes closed as she leaned into my hand, but she snapped them open and quickly pulled away.

Letting out a heavy breath, I dropped my hands to my side. “Why do you fight me so much? Why won’t you just give in to what I know you’re feeling?”

Her lips tightened into a frown, and her eyebrows furrowed. “I can’t,” she said barely above a whisper.

“Can’t or won’t?” I challenged, my voice thick with frustration.

Her eyes watered as she opened her mouth to speak, but she snapped it shut instead. She turned around and rushed out of the room, pushing past some of the other class members.

F*ck! Why does she have to be so stubborn? Clenching my fists, I punched the bag nearest to me, sending it into the wall about three feet away. I ran my hands through my hair, pacing as I debated whether or not to go after her. We were both too upset for anything to end well, so I decided against it. Damn it.





I didn’t see Kaiya again until Tuesday, but we had texted back and forth a few times on Monday, after both of us had apologized for our actions during class Sunday.

Tonight, I was really excited, not only to see Kaiya, but also because I planned to have the students spar, which we hadn’t done in a long time. I had been waiting until Kaiya demonstrated she was ready, and since she had made so much progress, I thought she could handle it.

Once all the students arrived, I announced, “Today’s class is going to different. All we’re going to do is spar.”

There were a few groans along with some enthusiastic cheers. I had the other instructors hand out the sparring equipment as I grabbed some for Kaiya and myself before walking over to her.

She looked at me nervously. “Are you sure I’m ready for this?”

“Yes,” I responded confidently. “But if you’re not comfortable, we can work on something else or watch the others spar.” I set the rest of our equipment down and then looked up at her for confirmation.

“No!” she blurted. “I mean, I want to, I just don’t know what to do.”

“We’ll take it slow. A lot of things will come naturally since you’ve been practicing. Let’s get you suited up,” I said as I picked up a chest protector. “This is a hogu—it’ll protect your chest and stomach from any hits.”

Slipping it over her head, I turned her around to tie the straps behind her. I’d like to tie her hands to my bed and f*ck her senseless. Grinning stupidly at the thoughts, I moved around in front of her, making sure the hogu was positioned correctly. She looked up at me and smiled. “What?”

I shook my head and chuckled, “Nothing.” I bent over to pick up her head gear and handed it to her. After she pulled it on, I helped adjust it, making sure it fit comfortably.

Once she had everything on, including shin guards, her gloves, and a mouthpiece, I put my own equipment on. As we stood in the center of one of the mats, I instructed, “Use everything you’ve learned so far. I’m going to let you hit me for the most part, but if you let your guard down, I’m going to take advantage, okay?”

She nodded, but I could see the anxiety in her eyes. As I walked closer to her, I assured, “Hey, you know I’m not going to hurt you, right?”

Her response was muffled by her mouthpiece, “I know.” She nodded once more. “I’m just nervous.”

“Are you sure you want to do this? It’s okay if you don’t want to.”

“I want to,” she replied with confidence, a determined gleam in her eyes.

That’s my girl.

Moving back a few steps, I gestured with both hands for her to come to me. “Let’s see what you got.”

Hesitantly, Kaiya advanced towards me, keeping her hands in front of her face like I had taught her. She threw a few punches that I easily blocked, but she nailed me with a roundhouse to my thigh. “Nice hit,” I praised.

She attempted to hit me with another roundhouse, but I deflected it with my own leg, causing her to stumble slightly. Recovering quickly, she came at with more jabs and punches, but I was able to block them. She lowered her hands from her face to her chest, obviously tired from the constant movement—sparring was exhausting for anyone.

Jabbing her lightly in the forehead, right where her head gear went across, I reminded, “Hands up! Always protect your face.”

Her hands shot back up right before she swung at my stomach. I jumped back to avoid her hit. “You need to get closer for shots like that. Get some water and I’ll explain more about your technique.”

After we both got a drink, I sat with Kaiya on the mat to let her catch her breath before we started the next round.

“You’re doing great. The only thing I noticed is that you’re not close enough for some of the hits you’re attempting.” I took a long swig of my water and watched as she brought her bottle to her mouth. I quickly looked away, not wanting to focus on her plump lips and remember how they tasted. “You’ll tire yourself out by throwing and not landing them.”

Sweat dripped down her face as she nodded. “Got it.”

“Hey, loosen up. Have some fun—I’m giving you a chance to beat the crap out of me. I don’t let just anyone do that.”

“I feel so special,” she remarked sarcastically, fighting a smile.

I tugged on her ponytail and nudged her playfully. “Smart ass.”

Slapping my arm away, she laughed and pushed me back. “Jerk.”

I chuckled before taking another swallow from my bottle and standing. “Ready for round two?”

When Kaiya nodded, I reached down to help her up. We took our defensive stances, and I motioned for her to come at me again. She came in closer before executing the basic one, two, three combination of jab, punch, jab to my stomach, but I blocked with my arms before pushing her away.

Her eyes narrowed in determination as she advanced towards me again, throwing an elbow to my face that I batted away with my forearm. She threw a jab to my chest and kicked me below the ribs with a roundhouse.

Grabbing her leg, I trapped it against my side before stepping closer to her, bringing our bodies together. Ignoring the feel of her against me, focusing on how to help her technique, I said, “If this ever happens, you need to start punching anything you can to make them let you go, but don’t pull away—you could break your leg.”


Kaiya’s breathing was ragged as I kept her trapped against me, enjoying having her pressed against me. Reluctantly, I let go before backing away slowly. Kaiya took advantage of my lowered hands by throwing a hook to the left side of my face.

“Nice.” I grinned.

A smile lit up her face, showing her pink mouthpiece. Bringing my hands back up, I waited for her to attack me. After she threw a few punches, her hands fell to her chest again.

I threw a back-fist to the side of her head. “Hands,” I reminded. “One good hit, and you’re done for. Remember the first thing I taught you: never get knocked out.”

We went a few more rounds before I decided to work with her on defending against standing attacks. I had Kaiya remove her equipment, but I kept mine on so she could use more force when hitting me during the escape techniques.

“Many times, an attacker will come up and grab you from behind, trapping your arms and putting you in a bear hug. I’m going to show you some ways to escape while disabling your attacker. Come up behind me and wrap your arms around me.”

Doing as I instructed, she grabbed me from behind, pinning my arms to the side.

“First thing that you want to do is crouch down, leaning over a little so that it’s harder for them to lift you up. Most attackers will try to throw you or slam you to the ground—you can’t let that to happen.”

I bent down. “Now, you’re going to stomp on their instep then shift to the right side, giving you some space to throw a hammer-fist into their groin with your right arm, like this. This should cause them to either completely let go or at least loosen their grip on you, allowing you to throw some back elbows into their stomach.”

I softly elbowed her in the stomach a few times before turning. “Once you’re in this position, I would recommend a couple of knees to the groin, and some elbows to the face, even a knee to the face because they’ll probably be hunched over. Put all of your force into your hits so that you can knock them out. Want to try?”

After she nodded, I came up behind her, pinning her arms to her sides as I brought her body against mine. Her ass pushed against my crotch as she leaned over, and even though I was wearing a cup, I couldn’t keep thoughts of bending her over and f*cking her from behind out of my head.

She shifted then threw a hammer-fist into my crotch. I loosened my hold on her as she started to elbow me in the stomach before turning and kneeing me in the nuts twice. Thank God for cups.

Elbowing me, she connected with the side of my face, which thankfully, was protected by the head gear. Elbows were one of the worst hits to take, especially to the nose or mouth.

We practiced a few more times before I ended class. Everyone was drenched with sweat as we discussed their feelings about sparring, most of which were positive. Tired smiles lined everyone’s faces as they talked about what they practiced.

As everyone left, I started gathering the equipment to sanitize before I closed up. “You need some help?” Kaiya asked.

“Sure. I just need to clean this stuff,” I said as I grabbed the gym’s disinfectant spray and some paper towels from their station in the corner of the room.

After we had sanitized everything, I put the equipment back in their containers before putting them up in the closet. “Thanks for helping me.”

“No problem. I’ll see you Thursday.” Kaiya smiled as she headed for the door.

“Hey, you want to grab something to eat? My treat for your help,” I offered.

She turned back to face me. “I can’t—Kamden waits for me for dinner.”

“Oh, okay. Maybe some other time,” I replied coolly, trying to mask my disappointment.

Our eyes met as she nibbled her bottom lip. “Tomorrow?” she suggested, quirking up an eyebrow in question.

My lips curved into a grin, “Just tell me where and when.”

“East Side at seven?”

Is she serious? I couldn’t f*cking believe it—Kaiya was actually agreeing to go out with me. “I’ll see you there.”

Her skin began to flush as she replied, “Okay. See you tomorrow.”

Hastily, she turned and exited as I finished closing up. My stomach knotted itself as I thought about tomorrow night—I hadn’t felt like this about a date in a long time. I had given up trying to make sense of how Kaiya made me feel—all I knew was that I wanted more, anything she would give me.