I wanted to scream. I wanted to rip something apart. I wanted to do anything but remain on the fucking carpet as the bitch strolled by with her fucking troops marching idly behind. I pressed my fingers into the thick material until my nails bent backward. I welcomed the pain, trying to call on each and every ache in my body and face. It was the only way to stay in control, to keep from losing my shit.
“Rhiannon.” When Paine’s voice came from just above me, I moved away as if the sound burned. I understood why he kept the details of his deal from me, but it didn’t lessen the sting or piss me off any less.
“You should have told me.”
The pain and misery in his voice wrapped invisible fingers around my heart, fingers that squeezed until I thought the very beating might stop. “I know. I’m sorry.”
His apology made me angrier. What did he have to feel sorry for? I was the one who had placed him in this predicament and put him in this wretched place. I’d never asked why he was so averse to touching Victoria, assuming it was because, like others, he would see things he wouldn’t like.
“You’ll see how she dies?”
“Yes.”
“What else?”
“I’ll see the people she’s killed.” His level voice didn’t completely mask his anxiety. “Half-demons aren’t like humans or vampires.”
The level of the sacrifice he was willing to make changed things, an irreversible shifting of events that would alter not only the future, but the past. It was inevitable, something I’d denied myself but now knew I could never truly avoid. Paine would do something no other had ever been willing to do for me, and knowing that caused a shift in the way I felt about him, whether I wanted it to or not.
“I need a few minutes alone.”
No one questioned it, but I managed to stop Bells as she started past me. “Wait,” I told her, my gaze glued on my fingers. Several of the nails were now bent backward, the quicks filled with blood. “I want to speak to you.”
“Go ahead,” Bells told the others. “I’ll bring her down before it’s time.”
I waited until the door closed before I released the scream I’d been holding in. It didn’t matter if they could still hear my rage, my heartbreak, my turmoil. It was a precursor of what they could expect soon. My throat felt raw and bruised when I finally stopped. I licked my lips and struggled to talk.
“I didn’t get a good layout of the club the last time. Are there still mirrors in front of the dance floor, under the DJ booth?”
“Yes, that’s where they plan on performing the summoning.” Bells knelt beside me. “What are you planning? Don’t do something stupid.”
“Stupid is as stupid does,” I muttered.
“Tell me what you’re going to do. I can’t help you if I don’t know.”
“It’s best you don’t.” I struggled to my feet, shrugging Bells off when she attempted to assist. “You need a clear head.”
“Then tell me what I can do.”
Shaking out my stiff shoulders, I finally looked at her. She was tense, her face pensive. “When the shit hits the fan, stay the hell out of the way.”
I glanced around the office until I located my duffel. Everything I needed was inside. It was a risky fucking gamble, but one I was willing to take. If it was necessary, I’d burn the entire building to the fucking ground to set things right.