“I have to speak with Disco. He’s the boss, so he should be the first to know.”
“I get that, but it’s not going to smooth things over. Things have been awful since you left. You have no idea of the turmoil everyone has suffered.”
I wasn’t sure how to respond. “I’m sorry. It wasn’t my intention.”
I’d never seen Nala angry, and it was something I didn’t want to witness again. The way her eyes slanted slightly and her lips narrowed made her appear lethal and dangerous.
“Then I suggest you get ready to kiss a lot of ass. Everyone will want a meeting called tomorrow. You’d better use your time with Gabriel to come up with an adequate apology and explanation. You’re going to owe all of us exactly the same.”
A full-on punch to the gut wouldn’t have carried as much weight. I felt the impact of her words, knew that she was right, and struggled against the bile rising to my throat as I made my way to Disco’s bedroom.
Was he going to hate me when he learned what I’d done? Could he possibly forgive me? Logically, I knew the subject of my fidelity wasn’t cut and dry. There were too many factors—thinking I’d never make it home, wanting to comfort Paine, living each moment as though it were my last—but I couldn’t help but feel I’d done something inexcusable. The Paine of the future said it wasn’t common, but those beholden to families were sometimes marked by more than one vampire and were sometimes shared. Would that make his sense of betrayal any less? Would it soften the fall he was sure to experience?
I rubbed my temples as I stopped in front of his door, trying to see into the future and answers that waited right in front of me. Disco had never been anything but understanding in situations regarding me, taking the higher road, becoming the person I knew I could always rely on. Now, I wasn’t so certain he would come to my defense, become my knight in shining armor to keep the wolves at bay. I couldn’t say I didn’t deserve it, even given the circumstances. As much as I loved him, I had made love to another man—his best friend—and there was no taking that back.
Minutes must have passed as I stood there, like the coward I was, trying to find the words, attempting to sort things out. Images blurred together—of the past before I made the debt with Zagan, of the hours I spent in Disco’s arms, of the decision I made to give Paine the only thing I had left to give, only to discover that as a consequence I had betrayed the only man I had ever truly loved. Topping it off with a cherry was the way I felt about Paine, something that was a deep-seated emotion yet held no official title.
“If you keep me waiting much longer, I’m coming out there to get you myself,” Disco called through the door.
I wrapped my fingers around the knob, holding my breath.
When I accepted that there was nothing else I could do, I opened the door and stepped inside.
Chapter Nineteen
I didn’t have a chance to brace myself. The moment I entered the room, I was flipped around and pressed against the door. A hard shove forced it closed. Disco trapped me against the wood, his chest flush against my back, the firm ridge of his cock pressing into my ass. His breath was cool against my neck as he bowed over me, rubbing his nose against my throat.
“You have a lot to answer for, love. I can’t decide if I want to take you to my bed and bust that perfect ass of yours”—his hand came down, cupping my right buttock—“or rip off your clothing and take you here and now against the wall.”