“No thanks.” It looked delicious, but I wasn’t about to admit I wanted his burrito.
I was still smiling at my silly private joke when a loud wedding procession entered the alley: a tipsy bride and groom, followed by a group of giggly children, followed by an entire mariachi band, followed by family and friends. Damian and I pressed into opposite sides of the path to let them through. The trumpets blared in our ears, slightly off-pitch, attacking us with tight bursts of vibrato. My potato quaked in despair and a few green onions slid off. My gaze met Damian’s. Suddenly, we were kids again, and we were laughing as men with wide sombreros and twangy violins filed through between us.
He noticed them at the same time I did—the rows and rows of paper stuck to the walls on either side: pink and yellow flyers with our faces printed on them. I couldn’t make out what they said, but I’m pretty sure the captions read ‘Missing’ for me and ‘Wanted’ for him. It was sobering, seeing ourselves up on display, as the entire wedding procession rambled past us, two at a time. Our eyes remained locked as we held our breaths. The street was so narrow, that two lovers standing on balconies across from each other could have leaned over for a kiss. There was nowhere to run.
We stayed glued to the walls until the last of the wedding party had shuffled through and the guitars had turned into a distant strum.
“Come on.” Damian picked up the shopping bags at his feet.
We were making our way to the boat, through a maze of streets, when he stopped outside a walk-in medical clinic.
“I think you should get them to look at your finger,” he said.
“It’s fine.” I waved the splint at him. “There’s nothing they can do. Besides, don’t you think it’s a bit risky? If they’ve been watching the news they could put two and two together.”
“Not if you go in alone. Maybe we should split up.”
“And what? Make up a story about what happened?”
“Do what you have to, but get it checked out. Go. I’ll wait for you out here.”
“It’s fine.” I started walking away. “The last thing I need is for someone to go poking at it when it’s finally healing over.”
“Suit yourself.” Damian wouldn’t budge. “If you’re not going in, I will. I need to get my stitches removed.”
I wavered for a second. I just wanted to get back to the boat, but he was right. His stitches were ready to come out.
“Wait for me in the supermarket,” said Damian. He motioned to the store across the street. “It shouldn’t take too long.”
“Okay.” I started crossing the road, but he pulled me back.
“Here.” He handed me some bills. “In case they have chocolate peanut butter ice cream.”
“That’s way too much for ice cream!” I laughed, but he was already walking into the clinic.
After the jostling crowds from earlier, the supermarket was cool and quiet. “Demons” by Imagine Dragons was playing over the loudspeaker. I wandered over to the freezer section. No chocolate peanut butter ice cream. I was checking out the frozen pancakes when the lyrics made me stop dead in my tracks.
Damian had been way too insistent—the clinic, my finger, his stitches. Any excuse for us to separate.
Maybe we should split up.
The fucker! He was letting me go.
As soon as it’s safe, I’m dropping you off at the mainland.
Don’t forget this. He made sure I didn’t leave the seashell necklace behind.
I ran back across the street, not caring that two cars narrowly missed me. The drivers honked and cursed at me, but all I could see was the door to the clinic. I flung it open and froze. There he was, seated on one of the plastic chairs, shopping bags at his feet, flipping through a magazine.
I backed out slowly, not wanting him to see how panicked I was, how the thought of being cut off from him again was so painful, I could barely breathe. I closed my eyes and breathed.
5, 4, 3, 2, 1 . . .
Again.
5, 4, 3, 2, 1 . . .
Then I went back into the supermarket. For a while, I wandered around, still feeling overwhelmed by the sense of emptiness that had gripped me. I was in love with Damian, completely, utterly, desolately. I had told myself that as long as I stayed with him, he had leverage, a bartering chip to negotiate his safety. Without me, he was an open target. But the truth was, I wanted to stay with him for me, because he had always, always been a part of me. I wanted to stay with him so I could put together all the dented, shattered parts of him, because I could never be whole where he was broken.
I found myself standing before the strawberries. Plump, flame-red strawberries with bright, green caps. I thought of the trampled cake Damian had never gotten to eat and decided I was going to buy all of them. I was going to feed him strawberries and he was going to fall in love with me.
Yes. I loved when I came up with a brilliant, foolproof plan.