The Moment of Letting Go

“I can’t do it!” I take another step backward, trying not to let the vertigo cause me to stumble and fall off the edge anyway.

Luke’s hands hook about my sides, keeping me on my feet.

“You’ll be all right; I’m right here, and I won’t let anything happen to you,” he says, but I can’t open my eyes. “The fear is all in your head.”

I back a little farther away from the edge, not realizing at first that I’m pressing my body into his—I just want to get away from the danger zone. He doesn’t seem to mind, and his hands are still like permanent fixtures on my hips, which I don’t mind, either.

Luke takes my hand and walks with me a few feet to one side and we sit down together on a rock bathed by the bright sun. Just as we step out of the way, two darkly tanned guys make a short run for it and leap off the edge of the cliff at the same time. The one with short blond hair does a front flip into the water, and they land with a splash. My hands come up instinctively, the fingers of one hand dancing on my lips, the other hand touching my heart as it pounds furiously behind my rib cage.

I shake my head.

“I’m just too scared,” I tell Luke. “I’m sorry. I can’t do it.”

His hand tightens around mine and then he pats it, afterward releasing it softly on top of my knee.

“It’s all right,” he says. “Don’t worry about it.”

I feel like a baby, and it doesn’t help any that there are five other girls out here besides me, all jumping into the water without a fear or worry in the world. I feel weak and small and forgettable.

“Hey,” I hear Luke say with concern in his voice. He moves off the rock and crouches in front of me. “Are you OK?”

I didn’t realize I had been so obvious—I certainly wasn’t trying to be.

I force a smile and nod. “Yeah, I’m good, just a little freaked out.”

Luke pushes himself into a stand and reaches out his hand for me. “Come on,” he says. “We’ll walk down and go swimming for a bit.”

I take his hand and he pulls me up from the rock. I don’t know why, but he makes me feel safe, even when just holding my hand. I secretly hope he doesn’t let go.

And he doesn’t.

“At least you tried,” he says, smiling.

Luke leads me back down the rocks and onto lower ground, where a friend of his is sitting watching over my bag—Alicia, girlfriend of his friend Braedon.

“It’s a no-go, huh?” she asks as we step up.

“No,” I say glumly. “After ten minutes of almost jumping, I was pretty sure it wasn’t gonna happen.”

Alicia smiles with a bright set of perfect white teeth. Long black hair drapes her olive shoulders.

“Maybe you’ll do it next time,” she says, reaching over and patting me on the back.

Luke, sitting on the other side of me with his knees drawn up, says with kind eyes, “Well, she has two weeks to conquer the fear.”

“Two weeks in Hawaii,” Alicia says, “now that’s a vacation.”

I glance over and smile at Luke next to me.

“Yeah, I guess it is,” I agree. “I like my job, but I’d take Hawaii over it any day.”

Alicia nods, beaming. “I’d take Hawaii over any job,” she says. “What do you do?”

“Sienna’s an event coordinator.” Luke speaks up for me, which I find cute and not at all intrusive.

Alicia perks up a little. “Oh?” she asks, looking between Luke and me with a curious—and maybe even hopeful—expression.

I hadn’t forgotten about Luke bringing up that charity art event earlier; I guess it just got lost in the excitement of staying in Hawaii and how crazy and thrilling and spontaneous the whole thing was. Besides, when he said to forget he said anything about it, that he would’ve said just about anything to get me to stay, I thought he was joking about the event.

“And a damn good one from what I saw,” Luke says.

My face reddens a little. “Thanks.” I’m not sure how much of my work he actually saw, but I don’t probe. I just take the compliment.

J. A. Redmerski's books