The Moment of Letting Go

I smile gently.

“Why do you think you’d never see me again?” I ask. And why are you worried about never seeing me again? My heart sings behind my ribs like a finch in a cage.

Maybe it’s to distract me, but instead of answering, Luke leans over and picks my beach towel up from the sand. He shakes it out and holds it out to me. Slowly I take it into my fingers, absently stuffing it inside my bag hanging from my shoulder.

He smiles and buries his hands inside his pockets again.

“Look, I really enjoyed hanging out with you today,” he says. “And if you’re ever on Oahu again, look me up.”

Oh no, is this good-bye? What about your phone number? Do I offer mine? Would that seem desperate?

My phone rings inside my bag, breaking me out of my thoughts.

“Well, I’ve gotta go,” Luke says and walks away, kicking up sand in front of him as he moves through it.

I just stand here, frozen, confused, and wanting to toss the distracting cell phone into the ocean so I can think! And Luke just gets farther and farther away. Then he stops and turns around. He points at me and shouts across the beach, “Remember what you promised me! You have to give it some real thought!”

I hesitate, but finally raise my hand and wave good-bye. “I promise!” I shout with a big bewildered smile.

And Luke keeps on walking.

When the numbness finally wears off, I leave the beach and go back to the hotel to pack.





NINE


Luke


That was probably the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever done, even more embarrassing than waking up naked the morning after a party, on the front lawn of Seth’s parents’ house. The neighbors got an eyeful that day.

I smack my palm against my forehead, at first because of making an idiot out of myself in front of the first girl I’ve ever met that made me want to make an idiot out of myself. But then I realize I left the surfboards and my phone on the beach. Make that two stupid things I’ve done today, all because of a girl.

My brother would be so proud.

I turn on my heels and head back to the spot where I left them. Sienna is long gone; I look out at the beach toward the hotel and my shoulders slump with a heavy sigh. I run my hands over my face and then just fall against the sand in a sitting position.

Sitting between the surfboards, I gaze at the ocean, thinking about the girl who got away and the brother who went away. I think about China and then again about the girl who got away. I can’t get Sienna out of my head. I text Seth to see if he’s still hiking with Kendra even though I know he is—they probably won’t be back until this evening. I decide to just go into the shop and hang with Allan, and see if he has any appointments for me today after all.

When I get up and turn around, I freeze, seeing Sienna staring back at me.

“Aloha,” she says in the meekest, cutest voice, her freckle-splashed face smiling gently.

“Aloha,” I say back, and my stomach does shit it’s never done before—it feels warm and mushy and I will never admit that to Seth, lest I become more like a girl to him than Kendra.

She approaches me, and I find myself just looking back at her, immobile, still surprised that she came back. Her smile is so beautiful, and the way her hair is blown gently against the side of her face makes me want to reach out and move it away just so I can touch her.

“I know I don’t know you,” she says, stopping two feet in front of me, “and this is the craziest thing I’ve ever done, but I want to know you.”

I’m still speechless.

Sienna steps a few inches closer. I still haven’t moved.

“Have you ever had that feeling,” she goes on, “when you know deep down that you should do something? Like if you don’t do it, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life?”

I nod. “Yeah, when I asked you to stay,” I answer honestly.

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