Swallowing back threatening tears, I say, “I think Jake should know what you’ve done to clear this up for him.”
Stuart shakes his head, no. “Right now Jake needs to believe there is good in people, and him finding out it was me sorting out another mess for him won’t do that. Just leave him to believe she changed her mind and came clean.”
Nodding, I see his reasoning.
“How are you going to pay Kaitlyn though? I’m guessing she’ll need a lot of money … I have some I can give to help.”
He chuckles. “Don’t worry, gorgeous. I might be keeping it from Jake, but it doesn’t mean he’s not paying. He still fucked up big time with the drugs, and it was because of that he landed himself in this situation. The money’s coming from him. I’m just going to pass it off as a charity donation.”
“Can you do that?” I laugh.
“Sure I can … because technically it is a charity donation.” He winks.
“Well, Jake might not be able to thank you for what you did, but I can.” I wrap my arms around him, kissing his cheek. “I don’t know what Jake would do without you, or me for that matter.” Leaning back I look into his face. “We’ll always be friends right?”
“Of course, chica.” His brow furrows as he lets out a light sigh. “You’re not getting back together with him are you?”
I step back, needing breathing space. Looking to the floor, I shake my head.
Knowing Jake hasn’t cheated doesn’t fix my real concerns about being with him.
“Whatever reason you have, gorgeous, just know Jake loves you – a lot. So whatever it is – whatever the real problem is, talk to him about it, see if you can’t work through it. The way I see it is you guys are meant to be together, and when it’s a love like yours, then there shouldn’t be anything you can work through.”
Looking up, I meet his eyes. “Okay,” I nod. “Come on, let’s go back, catch the last part of the show.”
Stuart stares at me for a long moment, lips pressed together, assessing me.
He knows I’m fobbing him off, but thankfully he leaves it there, and holds his arm out for me to take.
Linking my arm in through his, I walk back with Stuart to the stage.
I know my heart should feel light now knowing the truth, but it doesn’t, if anything it feels heavier.
We get back to the side of the stage, joining Simone, just as the guys are finishing up. I look over at Jake on stage and all I feel is conflicted.
Suddenly the whole place darkens as the song comes to an end.
The encore is about to start in a few minutes. This is when I promised myself I would leave.
I hear movement behind me. Turning, I see a roadie carrying a huge keyboard fixed to a stand, looking impatient for me to move. I nudge Stuart and Simone, and we all back out of his way, letting him pass by.
Denny and Smith come bounding off stage and over to us. They are pumped up, and covered in sweat.
I’m guessing Jake went off stage with Tom to the right wing.
I see Simone beaming at Denny as he talks to her. I wish I was with Jake right now.
No I don’t.
The crowd’s cheering and the guy’s enthusiasm is infectious, as I listen to their quick talk, but my heart is dying a slow death in my chest, because even though I said to Stuart I would stay and talk to Jake, I know I can’t.
If I do, he’ll just talk me round, and I know I’m not cut out for all of this.
The encore is readying to start, and the chants are growing louder and louder. The place is practically vibrating under my feet as the fans demand TMS back onto stage.
The place is insane, electric.
You can literally feel the energy from the crowd, it’s like a physical presence touching my skin.
Denny and Smith are called for and they disappear back on stage to take their places.
Then the spotlight hits illuminating Jake.
He’s sitting on a stool, at the keyboard the roadie just carried on, facing left stage, straight in my direction.
The crowd go insane, clapping and cheering.
Jake never plays the keyboard on stage. He knows how to play, but he’s more of a guitar man. I was always the piano player out of the two of us.
A sudden nervous energy sweeps over me, spreading from my head down to my toes.
Speaking into the mic, Jake addresses the fans. “This tour has been amazing for us in so many ways. It was always going to be a hard one for us, but you guys – our fans, have helped us make it a real tribute for Jonny. So we thank you for that.”
The crowd picks up with cheers again.
“Another amazing thing about this tour,” Jakes says over the cheers, “was that it brought someone back to me who I made the mistake of once letting go many years ago – someone important.”
He looks straight at me in the muted darkness. My whole body trembles under the weight of his stare His eyes drift down from mine, as he starts speaking again. “She once asked me, if I had to pick one song out of every song ever written to best describe me, which would it be. I said the song I’m about to sing.”
My skin starts to prickle as I remember our conversation that night in bed…