“Oh no?” His dark brows rise with incredulity. “So you haven’t been walking around on eggshells with me this whole time?”
Pausing, I take a breath. Calm. I need calm. “If I’ve had to walk around on eggshells it’s because you’ve been spoiling for a fight.”
A mulish set lifts his chin, and he doesn’t meet my eyes. “Maybe you’ve been waiting for me to snap.”
“Maybe I have.”
He flinches at that, his gaze darting to mine.
I don’t look away. “Maybe I’m looking for the Drew I fell in love with. Because, if you ask me, he’s gone into hiding.”
The color drains from his face, but I can see the wheels turning in that keen mind of his. I know he’s going to avoid this, pretend like everything is okay, and it’s all in my head.
Like clockwork, his expression eases. “Anna…”
“Don’t,” I take a step forward, pointing a finger in his direction, “fucking, ‘Anna’ me. You do not get to placate me any longer.”
His brows furrow. “What do you want from me? I’m trying not to fight.”
“I don’t care if we fight, if it means you acknowledge the fact that you’ve got a problem going on inside your head at the moment.” My heart is racing now. I hate confrontation. I loathe it with Drew.
The muscles along his neck tense as his color darkens. “Jesus, what is with everyone?” He rakes a hand through his disorderly hair before slapping his good thigh. “Would you give it a rest? I’m not some problem for everyone to solve.”
“Oh, bullshit.”
His brows wing up. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me. That is utter bullshit. You know damn well that if it were me, Gray, or any one of your friends, you’d do the same thing. So don’t start that whole ‘why won’t you leave me alone’ line again.”
Drew backs up, his ass hitting the counter. “I don’t even know why you care.”
“Of course I care! Why wouldn’t I care?”
“Isn’t it better if I never play again, Anna? Huh?” He takes a hard step in my direction. “I mean it’s not like you wanted me to be a quarterback. You didn’t want anything to do with me in the beginning. You took one look and decided I was just some meathead jock that wasn’t worth your time.”
“That’s not fair. You know that I didn’t want to want you—”
“Well, now there’s the difference. I wanted all of you the moment I laid eyes on you. But you were so damned closed off, I didn’t know how to approach you.”
“Why are you dragging this up?” I hate that I hurt him so deeply with my fear that he can’t let it go.
“Why?” He laughs without humor. “Does it bother you to remember that you only wanted me for one fuck?”
I’ve always said he was too quick. My jaw hurts from keeping my mouth shut. Arguing about this now won’t help. Not that Drew has any intention of stopping. A vein bulges along his throat as he continues to yell. “That first night. It was the best damn feeling I’d had in my life. And I’ve won the fucking Heisman!”
“Just stop,” I say. “Stop changing the subject. This isn’t about me.”
But he ignores me, his face going ruddier. “Every time is like that with you. Like my heart’s going to explode. Like I might pass out, but I’ve got to hold on because I need to feel this for as long as I can.”
“It’s the same for me,” I snap. “You know that.”
“Maybe that’s the only place I’ll be good enough for you. Maybe all you want is Drew the Fucking Hook Up.”
Frustration is an ugly bubble beneath my breastbone. “You call me clueless? For months I’ve thought about nothing but you. You walk into a room, and I feel you.”
“What does that have to do with wanting me for me?” He jabs a thumb against his chest.