The Education of Sebastian

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I have to get back and pack for David. He’s taking everything with him to the hospital tomorrow morning. I have a mountain of ironing to do.”


Shirley laughed and Donna smiled sympathetically.

I thanked them again and sketched a wave.





Chapter 10


David managed to find fault with everything that evening: my cooking, the clothes I’d packed for him, the way I’d ironed his shirt and pants; probably even the amount of air I was inconveniently breathing.

I tried to think if he’d always been so difficult. I honestly couldn’t remember.

He was particularly annoyed because I refused to come to bed with him, insisting instead on finishing up with my interview notes. During his bombastic huffing, I realized that he didn’t have a coping mechanism for dealing with my refusal: he wasn’t used to it and he didn’t know how to handle it. The thought was oddly liberating.

When he left the next morning, he didn’t even ask how I was planning to spend my weekend. Not that ‘screwing the brains out of my young lover in your bed’ would have figured high on my list of responses to that particular question, but I did think he might have pretended to take an interest.

I’d had one brief text from Sebastian simply saying that he was looking forward to the weekend. He hadn’t answered when I’d asked if he was okay.

I spent the day writing and also took a moment to look up possible photography classes I could take at NYU. Carl Winters had praised my snaps: it made me wonder if I could take that side of my work further.

During the afternoon, Donna telephoned to invite me to supper. I appreciated her kindness but I wasn’t going to be as alone as she thought. I simply told her I was enjoying the peace and quiet: she understood at once, checking only that I’d be at the annual Base picnic on Sunday.

I felt strangely nervous. I hadn’t seen Sebastian since yesterday’s ugly scene; it was also the first time that we’d been able to plan to be together for more than a few hours.

It was nearly midnight when I heard his light tap on the backdoor. I’d been dozing on the couch while I waited for him to finish his shift at the country club.

I made sure the kitchen light was off before I unlocked the door.

“Hi.”

“Hi, yourself.”

We stood staring at each other: he frowned slightly.

“Can I come in?”

“Of course.”

I stood back to allow him to pass, then I closed the door and locked it again. When I turned around he was still staring at me.

“I want to kiss you,” he said, sounding uncertain.

“Do you?”

I didn’t know why there was so much tension between us.

“Caro, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing: just kiss me.”

He hesitated for less than a second then slowly walked forwards. He held the palm of his hand against my cheek and lowered his face to me. He kissed me twice, his mouth lightly touching mine, then he wrapped his arms around my waist and leaned down to rest his forehead against mine.

“I’ve missed you,” he whispered.

I smiled and felt my body relax.

“Have you?”

“Yes.” He pulled me in more tightly. “I’m really sorry about yesterday… what my mom said.”

I straightened up abruptly and his hands dropped to his sides as he gazed at me warily. We needed to have this conversation – now.

“Does she know? About you and me?”

He shook his head vehemently. “Of course not!”

I looked into his eyes. “Because she said some things that made me think she did.”

Sebastian looked horrified.

“What did she say?”

I shrugged.

“Please!”

I let out a long sigh, closing my eyes against the unpleasant memory.

“She said I’d been ‘flaunting’ myself and that I wasn’t ‘pure’, that she knew better. Sebastian, what does she know? She must know something or why would she have put it like that?”

He ran his hands over his hair looking angry and upset, but stayed resolutely silent.

“For God’s sake, tell me!”

My voice was louder than I’d intended.

He blinked and looked away. “I promise she doesn’t know anything, Caro. It’s just…”

He paused.

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