He pulled my stiff body into an embrace, but I stood rigidly, fighting back tears, willing anger not fear to win out.
“Caro, tonight was just dumb, I admit that, okay. I’m just enjoying being… free, here and now, with you. Don’t cry.”
“I’m not crying!” I yelled. “I’m mad at you!”
“Yeah, got that message, baby.”
Eventually, I pushed him away, grabbing the wine bottle as I walked past the table, and took a good slug. Then I threw myself on the bed, piled the pillows behind me and tipped another large quantity of wine into my mouth, rubbing the back of my hand across my face to catch the drips.
“Are you going to share that?” he said, at last.
“No. You drink too much.”
“You’re just going to sit there and finish the whole bottle by yourself?”
“Yes.”
“You don’t like drinking.”
“I do tonight.”
“It’ll make you sick.”
“I’m being reckless. You do it all the time.”
“Caro,” he said, tiredly, rubbing his forehead, “come on, that’s enough.”
He pulled the bottle out of my hands and put it on his side of the bed.
“Give me my goddamn wine, Sebastian.”
“No,” he said, evenly, sitting next to me.
I tried to reach over him to get it, but he blocked me.
I wanted to scream with frustration, even though I knew I was behaving childishly.
“Fine.”
I slammed out of the room and walked down to the beach without a coat. It was a lot cooler now that it was night time. Oh well, I’d wanted to see the stars.
I sat down on the sand and moodily wrapped my arms around my knees. A light breeze was blowing off the sea, and moonlight glimmered on the water. The surf had almost completely dropped away. Sebastian was right: it would be as flat as glass tomorrow.
I buried my boots into the still-warm sand and listened to the tide lapping against the shoreline, as regular as breathing.
I was irritated with myself for my tantrum, but I was more than annoyed with Sebastian for nearly getting himself arrested – and for not appearing to think anything of it. But at the heart of it was my fear that his recklessness would lead him to doing something really stupid when he was… out there. I didn’t even want to think about where he was going – where we were going.
It wasn’t long before I heard his quiet footsteps in the sand. I pulled my arms around my knees more tightly as Sebastian sat down next to me, gently placing his old, leather jacket around my shoulders.
“Want some wine?” he said. “It tastes great straight from the bottle.”
I leaned against his shoulder, and he wrapped his arm around me.
“Sebastian, promise me you won’t be reckless. I couldn’t stand it if anything happened to you now.”
“Caro, I’m never reckless when I’m working. Well, maybe some of the off duty stuff, but not when I’m working, I promise. I’d never have gotten promoted if I was a complete fuck-up. Don’t worry about me. Besides, I’ve got a reason to come home now, okay?”
“I will worry.”
“And I’ll worry about you, too. You’ve still got a chance to go home where I know you’ll be safe, Caro. Please?”
I sat up stiffly.
“Don’t even think about screwing up my papers again, Hunter!”
“Whoa! Slow down!”
He held out his hands defensively.
“I promised I wouldn’t, Caro, even though I really fucking want to.” He paused. “So, have you finished stomping all over me with your boots?”
I sighed. “For now, unless you ask me to, nicely.”
He laughed gently. “I’ll bear that in mind. Can I kiss you, or am I risking serious injury?”
I pushed him back onto the sand and made myself comfortable lying across his chest.
Under the moonlight his skin was pale and silvery, every hint of tan bleached away. I traced his profile with my finger, and then tilted his face towards me, kissing him lightly on the lips.