He shook his head in amazement.
“Oh, wait, Major Parsons asked me out: Mike. He was pretty cute,” I said, casually glancing at Sebastian.
“That fucking bastard!” he snarled, sounding really angry.
“Sebastian, I said no. And actually, he was really sweet about it. He wasn’t pushy or anything.”
I was regretting making Sebastian jealous, but damn, it made me feel wanted. And I really wasn’t used to that.
I decided to change the subject before his temper spoiled our meal.
“What were you thinking, that first day, when we saw each other at the press training? You looked really mad.”
His gaze became distant, remembering the day, only one week ago.
“Just so fucking shocked. I saw the name ‘Lee Venzi’ on the training list. I recognized it because I’d read some of your articles…”
“Really?”
“Yeah, sure. I check out all the journos who go on these gigs. I want to know what kind of shit… sorry, what kind of writing they do. I thought yours was good.”
I shot him a look.
“No, really. I’m not just saying that. I kind of assumed you were ex-forces because of the way you understood the military. And we were all expecting you’d be a guy. Obviously somebody screwed up on the background checks. But as far as your online presence, you’re definitely a man.”
I smiled serenely at him. “That’s the general idea. I’ve had quite a few assignments given to me because people assume I’m a man; jobs they wouldn’t give to a woman.”
Sebastian frowned at me. “Yeah, but there could be a good reason for it, too. I mean, some of the places you go are dangerous and…”
I caught his hand and placed my fingers over his lips.
“Shh, tesoro. They’re a lot less dangerous than where you go, and we’re not having this conversation.”
He scowled and started to argue.
“No, I mean it. This is my work. Please drop it.”
He didn’t look happy about it, but he didn’t argue further either; instead he gave me a look that said the discussion wasn’t over, merely postponed.
“You were going to tell me what you thought when you first saw me,” I reminded him.
“Shock. At first I thought you’d done it deliberately somehow. And then I saw the look on your face, like you didn’t know what to say to me either, and I realized it was just as weird for you as it was for me.”
“And then?”
“I just kept thinking how mad I was at you; blaming you for all the shit. I kept trying to hold on to all that anger, but you just looked so… you looked just the same. And I kept thinking, maybe I got it wrong. And then I remembered that you hadn’t come looking for me and… it was so fucking confusing, Caro.”
He stared out at the water washing over the beach.
“And then you tried to talk to me and I just freaked. I couldn’t… not in front of all those people, not with all the things I wanted to… I found a bar and just started drinking… getting up the courage to go see you. I really screwed that up, didn’t I?”
“Royally,” I said, nodding my head.
He looked apologetic and stared at his hands.
“It doesn’t matter now, Sebastian,” I said, quietly.
He shook off the memory, but I could tell it still bothered him.
“What did you think, when you saw me?” he said.
“You mean after the oh-my-God moment? I thought you looked bitter: your eyes looked so cold and hard. Gorgeous, of course; but you looked like you’d really changed. I was… intimidated. And then Liz told me you’d got this reputation… as something of a lady-killer…”
Sebastian scowled.
“Well, you did ask.”
“Yeah, well… what else did you think?”
“She said you were brilliant, too, if that makes you feel any better.”
“Not much.”