I shook him off.
“Sebastian, we can’t just roll back the last ten years and pretend it never happened. Too much has happened – too much time has passed.”
“Come on, Caro, don’t say that.”
“Good night, Sebastian.”
I didn’t bother with the elevator – I needed to burn off some of the angry energy that coursed through me. I couldn’t help feeling that his clumsy pass was some sort of attempt to punish me – to add me to his list of conquests so he could reach some closure maybe, seal shut the door to his past.
Just when I’d started to feel…
No. Not going there. Definitely not going there.
To add insult to serious irritation, there was still no news from my editor. I stormed around my hotel room, finding insignificant jobs to do, then hammered out more emails to Jenna and Alice as an attempt at distraction. It was a futile attempt.
I didn’t know what the hell was going on with Sebastian. Some moments I thought I could sense the presence of the sweet boy he had been, whose thoughtfulness and kindness had swept me off my feet, as much if not more than his physical presence. But at other times, I saw nothing more than a bitter and predatory manwhore whose primary aim was to bed as many women as possible, and whose primary weapon was his ridiculous good looks.
I was half expecting him to come knocking on my door again, and I had a few choice phrases on standby, but the corridor was eerily silent.
Annoyed with myself, annoyed with him, I flung myself into bed and spent a sleepless night fighting with the duvet.
Before dawn, I gave up and headed to the hotel’s pool, swimming a few dozen laps before other guests arrived to make it unpleasantly crowded.
I staggered out of the pool and wrapped myself in the bathrobe provided by the hotel, before padding back towards my room.
Rounding the corner, I heard his voice before I saw him, his angry tones echoing down the corridor.
“For fuck’s sake, Caro! Can we please just talk?”
He thumped on my door again, and then I heard him mutter to himself, “This is fucking crazy.”
“That’s one of the words,” I said quietly, and had the vindictive pleasure of seeing him flinch.
He turned around and had the grace to look ashamed.
“Oh. I thought you weren’t talking to me.”
“That certainly would have been one of my better ideas,” I said, coldly.
He sighed, and rubbed the light brown stubble on his chin.
“Don’t be like that, Caro. Look, I’m sorry. I mean it. Around you, I just seem to open my mouth to change feet.”
“You can say that again.”
“I will if you let me buy you breakfast,” he said, raising one eyebrow and grinning at me.
“Are you stalking me, Sebastian? I thought we said everything we had to say to each other last night?”
His face fell and he looked hurt.
“I just want… can’t we be friends?”
“Friends? I was under the impression you wanted to fuck me out of some sense of revenge.”
I glared at him and he gasped.
“No!”
“Are you sure about that? Because last night you told me that’s exactly what you did to your CO’s wife. Why should I be any different?”
He stared at me in disbelief.
“Just go,” I said, wearily.
I really didn’t want to fight with him again; it was too tiring.
He took a deep breath.
“I know I’m saying everything wrong but… We used to have fun, didn’t we? Let’s just spend some time together – get to know each other again. You’re right: we can’t pretend the last ten years never happened. Just… give me a chance. I’m not the heartless bastard you seem to think I am. I’m still me, Caro.”
He was still beautiful, but the same? I didn’t think so.
I stared back at him, remembering how just two nights ago, he had cried in my arms. Was that the real Sebastian, or was it the cold predator who preyed on women? I desperately wanted to believe that the former was the real man.