Was my ex-husband.
“I left messages everywhere I could think of,” he continued, quietly. “I asked the new tenants at your house, at Shirley and Mitch’s, and Donna’s – I asked them to forward any mail to me… I guess that didn’t happen. Fuck, Caro, we would have been…”
He couldn’t finish, his voice becoming choked and indistinct. I noticed his hands were shaking slightly as he took a long drink of his wine.
“You thought I didn’t care.”
He shrugged. “I didn’t know what to think at first. Later… yeah, I guess I thought you’d… moved on.”
I sighed. “I did move on, Sebastian: I had to. When those letters came back… and even before I sent them, I thought you’d be better off without me. I suppose I hoped that your life would be… different. More like Ches’s. I guess that explains why you were so unpleasant the last few days.”
He winced and looked apologetic.
“Shit, I’m really sorry about that. It was just such a fucking shock. I didn’t know what to think. It sent me into a real tailspin.”
“It was a shock for me, too, Sebastian, but I didn’t behave like a dick.”
He glanced at me, surprised, then gave a small, contrite smile.
“Not your style, Caro.”
His smile faded and I could tell he wanted to ask me something, but wasn’t sure if he should. I could probably guess…
I leaned back in my chair.
“Just ask me, Sebastian.”
He blinked a couple of times, then shook his head slowly, an admiring smile lifting his lips.
“You’re so fearless, Caro, I love that about you.”
His words caught me by surprise, leaving me speechless. Again.
“I was wondering… if you were seeing anyone.”
Yes, that’s what I’d thought he was going to ask.
“No, I’m not.”
He seemed to relax one degree. “But you were? I mean… since…”
“I dated a couple of times, but no, there was nothing serious. Besides, I travel too much to sustain a relationship. And I definitely don’t want to get tied down again.”
He frowned, but didn’t comment.
“What about you? Any significant other?”
He snorted and rolled his eyes. “Fuck, no!”
I raised my eyebrows. “That’s not what I heard.”
“What? What did you hear?” he said, almost angrily.
I was rather taken aback by his tone, but as we seemed to be going for broke…
“About your CO’s wife – in Paris? Maybe it was just gossip.”
He grinned wickedly. “Oh, that. Guy was a first class bastard – he deserved it.”
I shook my head in admonishment. “And did she ‘deserve’ it? His wife?”
“Yes, she did.”
I hated to see such an ugly expression on his beautiful face.
“And the possibility of getting court-martialed and thrown out of the Corps… that didn’t matter to you either?”
He shrugged arrogantly. “I don’t give a shit.”
I didn’t like this aggressive, macho-bullshit side to him. I decided I’d done enough strolling down memory lane for one evening.
“Well, I think I’ll call it a night now, Sebastian.”
His startled expression met my cool one.
“Don’t go, Caro! We’ve only just started talking again. You haven’t finished your wine, you…”
“No, I’m tired.”
I started to stand but he laid a restraining hand on my thigh.
“Caro, I really want you.”
What? He was unbelievable! Why was I even listening to this crap?
“For God’s sake, Sebastian! We have one civilized drink together and you think I’m just going to fall into bed with you?”
“You used to.”
I felt like I’d been slapped – and I really, really wanted to hit him.
“How dare you!” I hissed.
The realization of what he’d said and how I’d interpreted it sank in, painting his face with disgust. At himself, I hoped.
“I didn’t mean it like that,” he said sullenly.
I stood up to leave and he grabbed hold of my hand.
“Caro, wait! Shit! I’m sorry.”