“And the medals?”
His Service Uniform was festooned with an array of colorful ribbons and medals. I ran through them in my mind, as I touched them one by one: his Afghanistan Campaign Medal, Marine Commendation Medal, Meritorious Service Medal, Navy and Marine Corps Overseas Service Ribbon, National Defense Service Medal, Defense Meritorious Service Medal, and a Navy and Marine Corps Medal. And, still in its presentation box at the bottom of his backpack, his Purple Heart, for being wounded in action.
As Sebastian watched, I opened the box, stroking the ridges of silky ribbon, and ran my finger over the embossed words, ‘For military merit’.
“Do what you want with them,” he said, his face creasing with pain. “I don’t want to see them. Ever.”
I took another deep breath.
“You don’t want to save them to… maybe… show our children… if…”
He looked up suddenly, a smile hovering around his lips. “You… you’d try?”
“Yes, Sebastian… we will try.”
He let out a shout of pure happiness and scooped me up, twirling me around.
“Let’s start trying right now,” he breathed out onto my skin.
“I’m still on the Pill!” I laughed.
“Doesn’t matter,” he murmured into my neck. “I want to practice.”
I kissed him hard, as he walked me backwards into our bedroom.
As Sebastian had once said, if children happened, we’d welcome them, if not, well, that was okay, too.
We had our whole lives ahead of us.
Epilogue
When a woman reaches forty, she is no longer young, but not yet old. My friends had offered this piece of wisdom on my birthday seven months ago.
And yet, it seemed that my life was starting again, or, perhaps I should say, entering a new phase.
Surrounded by love, my beautiful 28 year old husband stood at my side, and in front of our friends, we were joined together by the sacred vows of marriage.
Marc, between assignments, had flown in from France and we’d had an evening drinking to Liz’s memory, recalling her humor and craziness, her warmth and strength – crying just a little. And the day before, Ches and his family had arrived from San Diego. His children had peered at me shyly until they spotted Sebastian, and then they’d tried to throw themselves at him, their mother gently restraining them, afraid they’d hurt him. He waved away her concerns and let them climb all over him. It was a wonderful thing to see and my spirits soared, full of hope for the future.
Mitch and Shirley had arrived from South Carolina, and Shirley wept copiously, apologizing over and over. I finally realized that she was apologizing for not having received my letter seven years earlier. We cried together and hugged each other, and agreed to leave the past in the past. Even Donna had flown up for our special day, although Johan had been too ill to travel. Donna had written to us with their congratulations as soon as Shirley had given them the good news. It was strange to see her after all those years, but having her there – smiling with maternal pride – somehow everything had come full circle.
Nicole, Jenna and Alice were there to support me: Nicole determinedly arguing until the last second that I should go on at least one shopping spree to find a bridal outfit; and me stating with equal determination that it would never happen.
My friends’ initial wariness of Sebastian had long since worn off, and they treated him something like a younger brother, much to his irritation and my amusement.
Sebastian stood by my side in front of the deputy clerk at City Hall and promised to love me every day for the rest of his life. I cried tears of joy, and said I would never again let anything separate us.