“Get out of my fucking way!” Jake yelled. The nurse held her position, even under Jake’s intimidation.
“They can’t help her with you hovering over her, sir,” she said calmly. “Please, have a seat in the waiting room. The second we know something, I will come tell you myself. I promise.” It was a fight we couldn’t win. I needed to be in there. I needed to tell her it was all going to be okay. What if it wasn’t? What if the last thing my baby girl saw was the doctor and nurses working over her? What if her last feeling in life was fear?
We relented, but only because we didn’t have any other options. The nurse led us to a small room with a worn-out pink love seat with frayed edges and a faded white wicker coffee table. Instead of magazines, there were bibles scattered on the table, in three different versions. A beige phone hung on the wall with a long tangled cord dangling beneath, and a rotary dial that had no numbers.
Bethany met us in the waiting room and started dialing on her phone, “I’m going to call Cole. He needs to find Owen and lock him up before he does anything else.”
Jake swept the bibles onto the floor and shook the table. “He needs to do more than fucking lock him up. He needs to put the motherfucker down!” Bethany flinched, nodding and running toward the entrance as she barked orders into her phone.
I sat on the couch and held my head in my hands. I couldn’t lose my baby. She was my reason for being. I loved her more than I thought was possible for anyone to love, not just myself.
“What the fuck happened?” Jake asked, pacing the room.
“It’s my fault,” I said. “I should have protected her.”
“It’s not your fault he’s fucking insane.”
“If I would have just told you the truth, if you would have known…”
“What truth?”
“The truth about Georgia,” I said. “The truth about Owen.”
“The pictures,” he said.
Then, I remembered the black and white photos he’d dropped earlier. They were the pictures I’d taken after Owen raped me. The pictures I had taken for Jake, to fuel his hatred of Owen.
It was fitting for Jake to be the one who found them. I should have just been brave enough to show him all those years ago. We wouldn’t have been waiting for news if my daughter was dead or alive if I could have just sucked up my fucking self-pitying bullshit and told him everything.
“Yes.” There was no more denying. No more reasons to keep it to myself.
“When?”
“The night you left.”
Jake sucked in his breath.
“I went to lock the storage unit for Reggie. I wanted to walk. Owen showed up near the boat house. He dragged me down to the beach under the bridge.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I tried to. I wanted to. I was going to. But when you came back, you were so fucking angry at me. No one had trusted me my entire life, Jake – no one had ever taken me seriously, never believed in me. No one but Nan. ”
“I didn’t trust you either, did I?” Jake pulled me off the couch and into his arms. He sobbed into my hair and spoke between gulps of breath. “I was such an ass. Willie Ray had come up to talk to me when I was filling the bike at the station. I bought you flowers. He asked who they were for. I was practically giddy to see you again. Never felt that way in my whole life. I told him they were for you. There was no point in denying us. Most of them already knew about us anyway. I wanted everyone to know you were mine.” Jake squeezed me tighter. “That’s when he told me he saw Owen coming out from under the bridge with his zipper down, his hair a mess. Willie Rae asked him what he was doing. Owen told him he was down there with you.”
“He was, just not the way you thought.” I tried to be strong as I told him. “I put up a fight. I swear I did. He was so strong, and I was barely conscious....”
“I know you fought him, Bee. I know you did. And I wasn’t fucking here for you. It’s all my fucking fault.”
“No. If you hadn’t left, I wouldn’t have kept her. I would have known she was Owen’s, and I would have gotten rid of her because of you. I was so close to doing it anyway. But since I had nothing and she was already such a survivor, I kept her. I needed her because I didn’t have you. It was such a fucking selfish reason, but she was the good that came out of you leaving. As much as it hurt, I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I should have told you everything after Frank’s funeral, on the very first day you came back.” My thoughts were back with Georgia, wondering where they’d taken her and how long it would be before someone let us know how she was. “I just can’t believe this is happening. I can’t believe I let it happen.”
“We can’t blame ourselves right now. We have to be strong for her, for our little girl.” Jake tucked a stray hair behind my ears and kissed my forehead.