“Because I want you!” she shouted, the emotional tidal wave too strong to harness now. “It’s just…you’re making too big a deal of this.”
“I’m making too big a deal of us making love for the first time in two years?” He stood, all six foot four inches of him towering over her. “I thought you were ready to give us a second chance. And you let me think it. Dammit, Nat.”
“You’re what…going to leave me now?” she shouted at him as he picked up his clothes and stalked to the door. “You’re a tease, Blake.”
He swung around, and she wished she could call the words back. His face had turned the dark red of anger.
“So…you just want to get off, huh? Well, that won’t take long.”
Before she could blink, he threw his clothes aside and was back beside the bed. His hands tugged her ankles until her bottom was at the edge of the mattress. Then his mouth was on her. He knew exactly where to touch and stroke, and within moments she was helpless to stop the orgasm that exploded through her body, pulsing in waves, making her feel like she was a glacier that had melted too fast and crashed into the ocean, causing endless ripples to radiate out from her.
The hands cupping her hips tightened, and he let his head hang heavy on her stomach. She waited for him to simply take her, to take his pleasure. But he kissed her belly for an achingly long moment, and then she felt him shift away. When she finally opened her eyes, he was gone. His clothes with him.
She rolled onto her side, fighting the pressure in her chest. All pleasure disappeared, replaced by a pain so sharp and bitter it brought tears to her eyes. The cold returned, and with it, an icy sleet to cover her skin.
Stumbling, she ran to the shower. Hot water would bring her back to herself. Stepping under the jets, she dialed up the strongest setting and let the pressure rake over the skin he’d kissed, let it pound away the sweetness of his touch.
But she couldn’t erase it. Nothing could.
She pressed her forehead to the tiles and slapped her hand against them, reaching deep for that inner control, that place of numbness where she’d resided for years. She couldn’t find it. A wild howl rose up from her belly, echoing up and out of her throat.
“Noooooo,” she cried out, her head banging against the wall to stop the pain from hurtling through her like an avalanche.
Sinking to the floor of the shower, she succumbed to the tears she’d been fighting for years, tears finally unleashed by the reality that Blake wasn’t coming back.
Chapter 24
Blake was halfway to the bridge by the time he realized he was running away. The woods around him swayed under the light of the half moon as he stopped and inhaled the crisp mountain air to calm his raging emotions.
She wasn’t ready to let him love her again.
Right now, he wasn’t sure that would change, that she would change. He hung his head and squeezed his eyes shut to block out the white lights he’d strung on the bridge before their date. An owl hooted off in the distance, and he heard a whine. Felt the soft nudge of Touchdown, who must have followed him out.
He had to go back. He knew it. If he didn’t, all would be lost between them. But he dreaded it, dreaded going back in there right now after how close they’d come, how far they’d fallen.
Well, he wasn’t a quitter, and he’d promised himself and Natalie he wouldn’t give up.
With determined steps, he walked back to the house and let himself in. Heading to the kitchen, he found a plastic bag and filled it with ice. In his line of work, he’d iced just about every part of his body except his dick, but there was a first time for everything.
He turned off all the lights and sat on the couch. In another part of the house, he could hear the shower running. When she finished, he’d…
He didn’t know.
His desolation was complete. Usually he had a plan. After the initial shock of her leaving him had worn off, he’d told himself he would win her back. Up until tonight, he’d felt certain, down to his gut, that she’d shut him out because of her inability to face her grief. Perhaps he’d been wrong the whole time. Maybe she just hadn’t loved him enough to stay. Tonight, she hadn’t even cared about him enough to make love with him in the way that gave them both the most pleasure. She had shut her eyes to block out his professions of love.
Touchdown put his head on his thigh, and Blake stroked it as the dark, piercing thoughts swirled in his mind. He was used to fighting them off, but tonight the demons were too clever, their whispers too real.
He was lost, and he knew it.
The patter of feet sounded behind him, and he tensed. He made himself look over his shoulder, but all he could make out was Natalie’s dark shape. Touchdown whined and jumped off the couch. She flicked on a lamp, and her gasp carried across the room.