His opinion had always meant a lot, but this level of honesty made her legs tremble. “So you think I should take him back?”
He let out a long sigh. “Only if you love him like he loves you. Otherwise, give him the closure he needs to move on with his life. He’s a good man. Don’t muzzle him, Natalie, just because you’re scared.”
“Scared? I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Even to her ears, it sounded like pure bravado.
“After years of playing ball, I know when someone’s scared, and that’s what I see when I look at you.” He put his hand on her shoulder. “I know you suffered a great loss when your friend died, but that wasn’t Blake’s fault. He only wanted to help you, and you were too scared to let him.”
Her mouth parted at his insight. How much had Blake told him? “You don’t know anything.”
“He grieved for Kim too, you know, and now with Adam…he needs our support, and he hasn’t been afraid to ask for it. The minute he asked for help with his football camp, we all rearranged our schedules to be there. And we’re here this weekend, just like we’ve been there a dozen other weekends since you left him.”
She felt like slime, and it was becoming so normal, you’d think she’d be used to it by now. “I’m glad you guys have been there for him.”
“Why haven’t you been?” His brow cocked in pure challenge. “You’re like one of the players on the team who distances himself from everyone else when he’s going through a tough time—on or off the field. I know those guys. You have the same desperate look in your eyes. There’s nothing wrong with needing someone when you’ve hit bottom, Natalie. The people who know when to ask for help are stronger than the ones who insist on standing alone. Does Blake look weak to you?”
No, but he looked lonely and unsure and vulnerable, and seeing him like that sometimes scared her. She didn’t want anyone to think those things of her. Ever.
“Your eyesight must be getting poor if you see anything desperate about me.” She rubbed the tightness around her diaphragm, scarcely able to breathe. “I’m not a football player, Sam. You’re comparing apples and oranges here.”
“No, I’m not. I’ve learned a football team is a microcosm of society, and I’ve pretty much seen it all after playing the sport for nearly thirty years.”
“A microcosm of society? What have you been reading?”
“The classics.” His hand squeezed her shoulder. “Natalie, I’ve always liked you. For a long time, I thought you were the best woman in the world for Blake. But I love him, and you’ve put him through hell. Don’t expect to erase all of that by showing up here with smiles and your cheese dip. The only thing that will do that is your honesty. I hope you’ll find the courage inside you to make the right choice.”
Then he kissed her cheek and walked over to the patio door. “Hey! Enough caterwauling,” he called. “Let’s chow.”
As the men hustled inside, Touchdown trailing behind them, she cleared her throat and tried to compose herself. The guys grabbed plates and started loading up on the food, and Grant reappeared fully clothed. He’d found a permanent marker somewhere and written on his shirt: No Pants=War.
She stepped back and bumped into a tall, hard body. Even though all of these men had hard bodies, honed by their sport, she knew instantly it was Blake. Her bottom had always fit perfectly into the curve of his pelvis. Then there was his smell: man, leather, and spice.
Feeling off balance, and not just from Sam’s comments, she turned around. His brown eyes searched her face.
“Everything okay?”
She forced a smile. “Why wouldn’t it be?”
“I saw you talking to Sam. You looked upset.”
Upset was too tame a word. “I’m fine. I’ll leave you all to it. We’ll bring over brunch tomorrow, like we arranged.”
He laid his hand on her forearm, and her skin puckered at that one simple touch. “Don’t let him bother you. He’s…loyal to me, that’s all.”
All the guys were, but she respected Sam’s opinion the most. He had always been the voice of wisdom for their group. So his words had cut her down to size, and it had hurt, even if she’d deserved it.
“Have fun.” She tried to walk by him, but he grabbed her hand.
“Thanks, Nat.” The light in his eyes suggested he was talking about more than her role in preparing the food. Right now, she couldn’t deal with that. She could barely deal with her own pain and confusion. His overwhelmed her.
“See you guys tomorrow.” She gave a lackluster wave as she backed up to the door. “If one of you lands in jail, do not call me.”
They laughed as she let herself out. Touchdown didn’t follow her, which wasn’t a surprise. He adored Blake’s friends. Walking across the bridge back to her place in the silence, tracing the infinity symbols engraved in the wood, she remembered how Blake had described this construction.
The bridge to a better life.
As she reached her own house, part of her felt like she’d left her one and only chance behind her.
Chapter 13