Twenty Three
Callie propped her chin up on the railing and gazed down at the water below. Flashes of light glinted over the dark water. The sun sat low in the distance, partially hidden behind a few clouds. The pinks and reds of dusk were just beginning to branch up through the clouds. It was going to be a wonderful sunset, and she wanted to sit right there with Logan and soak it all in. “Honey,” she called to him, “come sit with me.” Logan was pacing back and forth across the deck. Callie had attributed his energy to nerves over the paparazzi and Veronica’s surprise arrival at the polo match, but now she was starting to wonder if there was something else on his mind. “You don’t want to miss this,” she added. As she waited for his reply, she wondered how many more sunsets like this they would have together.
Logan sat down next to her, leaning his head against hers. As much as he tried to indulge her, he clearly had something on his mind. Whatever it was, it was building up inside him. If his earlier gloom had been like a storm on the horizon, Callie wondered if this was the calm before the storm. He was holding back, biding his time. After a long silence, Logan said, “We should really go get the car. If we drive out there together, one of us can drive it back. Is your rental car still at the house?”
Callie slid her arm around his waist, resting her palm against his side. She just wanted to enjoy this moment with him. Couldn’t he understand that? She straightened her posture and turned her complete attention to him. “Don’t you have a butler or a driver or someone who could do that kind of thing for you? I had to pick up my sister’s dry cleaning for the first year that I worked for her. There must be someone on your payroll who can help us out here. Or you could have just let Henry and Eve leave in their own car.”
Logan shook his head.“No,” he said. “I don’t really want to get into it. We can’t leave it overnight there. The whole place will have cleared out by now, and the paparazzi won’t be anywhere in sight.” Logan pulled out his phone to check the time, and he looked out toward the water. “Come on. It will be fun,” he said. “Let’s take a ride.”
“I was having fun here. I just want to relax,” Callie said.
“We will relax as soon as we have the car back,” Logan replied.
“What’s going on?” Callie asked. Something wasn’t adding up. He had been more than happy to leave the car with some random mechanic in New Hampshire, and he had been more than happy to lend it to Henry, and, suddenly, he couldn’t be without it?
Logan sighed in frustration. “Fine,” he said. “I won’t say anything else about it, but I have one more surprise for you tonight, and the first part of it is in the car. I put a lot of work into this.”
“Why didn’t you just say so?”
“I wanted it to be a surprise,” Logan said.
“Do I need to wear anything in particular for this surprise?” Callie asked.
“You don’t have to bring a stitch of clothing if you don’t want,” Logan said. He flashed her a devilish grin. It didn’t make complete sense to her, but Callie couldn’t deny the thrill she felt whenever he looked at her like that.
“Let’s go,” she said. The sky had darkened to a bright red above them, and the sunset seemed to hang there as they prepared to leave. Callie followed Logan back to his speedboat. Within a few minutes, they were heading back across the water toward his father’s mansion with the wind in their hair. Callie had tucked herself underneath Logan’s arm as he piloted the boat across the calm water. She leaned her head against his shoulder and let herself relax. “Isn’t it beautiful?” she asked. “I know things got a little out of hand at polo, but it was wonderful. I had fun.” She was excited for the surprise, but mostly, she just wanted to spend as much time with Logan as possible.
“I’m glad to hear that,” Logan said. “I swear, I had no idea she’d be there.”
Callie had already put Veronica out of her mind. As far as she cared, she could pretend Veronica Jones didn’t exist for at least one night.“Let’s not talk about her,” Callie said.
“That’s fine by me,” Logan said. There was still something different in his voice, some reservation in the way he phrased his words.
Callie wondered if she had done something to upset him. It couldn’t have been the run-in with Henry and Eve, could it? She racked her brain to figure out what she had done. “Logan, you’d tell me if something were wrong, wouldn’t you?” Callie asked.
“Yeah,” Logan said,”everything’s fine,” he said. There was still that hesitation in his voice.
Maybe this was the time to tell him that she had decided to stay, she thought, but she wanted him to be happy when she told him. She wanted everything to be perfect, and at that moment, with the sky darkening to a deep purple-red above them, with the water growing dark beneath, she felt like the only thing holding her back was Logan’s mood. She made a decision, she’d wait until the car and his surprise, and she’d tell him as soon as he was happy again.
After a while the color started to fade from the trees and the houses on the far off shore, and the lights in the houses and on the boats blinked on. Hank’s mansion came into view around the point. For a while, Callie didn’t recognize it. Every other time she had seen it, it had been virtually empty, but tonight, she could see crowds of people on the back veranda and lawn. She pulled on Logan’s shirt and nodded forward. “Something’s going on,” she said.
“Surprise,” Logan said flatly. “You were right about the car. I sent someone to pick it up as soon as we got back to the boat, but I had to figure out some way to get you back ashore. The other day, you told me how much you would have loved to have gone to a great ball at one of the Newport mansions. Well, I can’t bring you back in time, but I know a thing or two about throwing a party.”
By the time they reached the dock, the entire scene had come into focus. The house was lit up from the basement to the roof, and blazing shadows stretched out between the lights across the lawn. Through the windows Callie could see a sea of people, dancing and laughing and moving from room to room. The happy sounds of a summer party in full swing floated across the lawn. Callie looked over to Logan. “You did all of this for me?” she asked.
Logan nodded sheepishly. “You wanted Newport glamour. Here you are. I wanted to give you a day to remember,” he said. Logan pulled the boat up to the dock and tossed a rope up. Two men took the other side and pulled the boat into position. “I hope you enjoy it.” He stepped up off of the boat and held his hand out for Callie to follow him. “I have your dress waiting in the guest house.”
It was quiet inside the guesthouse. Save for a low hum and the occasional vibration, Callie could barely hear the sounds of excitement from the big house once she had stepped inside. Logan led her over to her bedroom and opened the door. A black ball gown lay across the bed. “You did this? How did you know my size?” Callie asked.
Logan nodded. “I called your aunt and asked. Did you know she gave me her number last year at your sister’s wedding? I never thought I’d need it. Now I have to go get dressed. My clothes are upstairs. I don’t want to ruin the big reveal. I’ll see you soon.” He leaned in and kissed her cheek. His lips tickled her skin and she let out a little laugh before meeting his kiss with one dizzying kiss of her own. That warmth and excitement stayed inside her as Logan went and got ready.
When Logan returned, he was wearing a tuxedo, and Callie had to stop fussing with her dress to admire him. The suit accentuated his shoulders and his thin waist. He looked like a movie star preparing to head down the red carpet. It too her a minute to realize that he had even shaved. He crossed the room and stepped behind Callie, reaching up to pull her zipper all the way up her back. He looked at her in the mirror as he helped her straighten the dress.“You look even more beautiful than I had imagined,” he said. He wrapped his arms around her and clasped a necklace around her neck, three pearls strung on a thin gold wire.
Callie ran her fingers over the necklace. “It’s beautiful,” she said.
Logan leaned in and pressed his lips against the back of her neck, sending a wonderful shiver up and down her spine. He ran his hand over her hip and spun her around to plant a kiss on her lips. His kiss was firm but tender, and he held her in his arms, looking into her eyes well after the kiss stopped. “It doesn’t even begin to compare to you.” He pulled back and offered his hand. “Come on,” he said, “your party is waiting.”
***
As they approached the house, Callie listened to the sounds of the band playing inside the house. The sound of brass, the trumpets and trombone, playing swing floated through the open windows over the dull roar of the crowd talking and dancing. With each step Callie took toward the house, she felt like she was stepping back in time. “How did you?” she asked as Logan led her up the steps to the veranda. “There must be two hundred people here, and where did you find a band?”
“I called in a few favors,” Logan said. “And I may or may not have closed the bar for the night and bussed everyone in while we were away at Polo.”
“Why would you do that?” Callie asked.
“For you,” Logan said. He was still quieter than normal, more reserved. Was this why he had been acting to strangely all day? “I wanted to give you a day worth remembering, the day you wanted from the beginning.” Logan stopped before the door and motioned forward. “Obviously, we had a few hiccups on the way, but we’re here now. Do you remember anything from your dance lesson?” he asked.
“I remember feeling wonderfully dizzy,” Callie said. The sensation had been partly caused by spinning around a ballroom with Logan, and partly caused by just being with him.
“Then you’ll feel right at home,” Logan said. As he led her inside, the crowd parted, leaving them a clear path to the ballroom floor. They walked through the hallway slowly, and Callie looked over the crowd, feeling a bit nervous about having so many people see her dance. Logan cleared his throat as they entered the ballroom, and the band shifted right into a waltz. “Try to keep up,” he said, swinging Callie around and leading her out to the middle of the floor.
At first, Callie kept her head down and tried to follow Logan’s feet, but she kept missing steps. “Look here,” Logan said, reaching up and raising her chin, “and just dance with me.” His blue eyes glinted in the dim light and Callie did as he said, following his lead. Soon, she forgot all about her footwork, and she danced back and forth across the room with him as other couples started to make their way onto the floor. With each step, each beat and breath, she felt the whole scene fade away from her, until she felt like only she and Logan were in the room. She watched the way he looked at her as they danced. It wasn’t so much looking at her as it was looking with her, and she felt like they were locked together, suspended in time as they danced.
“Logan, I need to tell you something,” she said.
“Not yet,” Logan said, spinning her around, “let’s savor this moment.”
“I love you,” she said.
Logan’s pupils dilated and his gaze hardened. He stopped dancing and held his hands on her hips. He looked like he was in pain. Callie could hear his strained breaths as she waited for him to say something, anything in response. She watched his lips, pictured the words forming in his mouth. She knew how he felt. She just needed to hear him say it.
“I’ll be right back,” he said. “Actually, meet me in the study. There’s something I need to tell you, and I don’t want to do it here. Just give me a minute.” Before Callie could say anything, Logan turned and walked off the dance floor. As she stood there, wondering what had just happened, the band started the next song, a swing tune. Even more people flooded onto the dance floor, crowding Logan out of sight.
Callie tried to follow behind him. She made it about five steps before stopping. She couldn’t believe what she saw: Veronica Jones leaning against the wall, grinning. Callie rushed over to her and nearly lunged at her. “What the hell did you do?” she shouted.
“I haven’t done anything,” she said, “yet.”
“I don’t know what you think you’re accomplishing by being here, but I promise you, if try to do anything to Logan, I will make it my mission in life to make you miserable.”
“Ooh, I’m shaking in my Louboutins,” Veronica said. She rolled her eyes and yawned.
“You’re lucky I have somewhere to be,” Callie said.
“Hopefully it’s far away from here,” Veronica replied.
Callie shook her head, pushed through the crowd and headed to the hall. She didn’t want to waste another minute on Veronica. Once she was outside the ballroom, everything would be better. She pushed the heavy wooden door open and stepped out into the hallway. It was cooler in the hallway and quieter too. The muffled sounds of the band still echoed, but the front of the house, and the hallway to the study, were dark and still. Callie’s heels clacked on the floor as she headed into the darkness. She slid her hand along the wood panelling to find the entrance to the study. Once she found it, she held her breath and opened the hidden door. She looked back down the hall one more time and let herself inside.
The room was dark, save for the small pool of light that shone from a lamp on Hank’s desk. The dim pool of light accentuated the shadows on the bookcases and in the far corners of the room. “Logan?” Callie called. “Logan, where are you?” She looked around, hoping that he’d be in one of those corners or sitting in a chair, but it was useless. He wasn’t there. She looked around the room for any sign of him, but there was nothing. Where the hell was he? She walked over and sat down behind the large, mahogany desk.
In the middle of the desk, under the warm light of the lamp, sat a plain white envelope, addressed simply, “Callie.” She reached forward and tore it open, ripping a corner off the letter in the process. She unfolded the paper and started to read. I don’t know how to say this… A chill ran through Callie’s body as she read the rest of the letter. Logan was gone, and he wasn’t coming back.
***
He hadn’t planned on coming back to the bar, but like a homing pigeon who could fly thousands of miles home, he had instinctually headed there. The great open space of the dining room was quiet and empty, and he didn’t bother to turn on any lights but the one behind the bar. She loved him. She loved him, and he had run. Deep down, he had known how she felt, but hearing her say it was something different entirely.
It was better that he had left instead of explaining things. More fitting. She’d hate him for what he did and move on with her life to spite him. At least she’d have closure. Her anger at him would probably motivate her to new professional highs, while he could lapse back into the prodigal son everyone else expected him to be. Logan knew this was what had to happen, and yet a small part of him wanted to find and run off with her.
Maybe that’s why he left the front door to the brewery unlocked. Maybe it was why he wasn’t surprised when the door opened, and Callie stepped inside glaring at him from across the room. He looked at her one more time in her long black dress. Her hair was still up, and every last detail of her makeup was perfect. She looked beautiful.
Something about that moment reminded Logan of the first time he saw her, not the afternoon at his father's mansion, but nearly a year earlier, when he had been at her sister's wedding. For a moment, he thought he had dreamt her up, that there was no way she could be real, but she was. He hadn't been able to keep his eyes off of her, but when he found out who she was, he knew better to keep his distance. Logan laughed to himself. Apparently his first impulse had been right.
But that was in the past, a pleasant memory. Logan hung his head over his drink again, watching his reflection warp in the glass. He knew that had to do was start a fight and get her to leave. It was for the best. Soon enough, Veronica would leak the tape to the press, and Logan's life would be turned upside down. He couldn't do that to her. He couldn't let her throw away her life and join him in his downward spiral just because he liked her. A fake fight. That was all he had to do. How hard could it be?
"You," Callie shouted from across the room. "Where did you go? I spent an hour looking for you at your party."
"I had to leave. I just couldn't be there." Logan gestured to the empty bar.
"And you didn't think maybe I would want to come with you?" Callie asked. She walked over to his side but didn't sit down.
"You wanted to experience Newport glamour. Well, there's nothing glamorous about this."
"Stop pitying yourself. What is this all about?" Callie said. "Is this about the bill passing? You've been acting so weirdly ever since you got the news."
"No, it's not that,"Logan said. He couldn't bear to look at Callie.
"What aren't you telling me? Is this because I told you I love you? I'm not taking that back, and I'm not going to hide from the truth. I love you, Logan. You're a better man than you give yourself credit for, and I won’t let you break up with me simply because you don’t believe in yourself.”
Logan felt a lump in his throat. He hadn't expected her to say that again. He just wanted to scoop her up in his arms and kiss her and tell her he felt the exact same way. Instead, he choked out one final attempt at getting her to leave. "I can't, Callie. I just can't do this. I wish I could explain. I wish I had a better answer. You deserve better. You deserve someone who can be there for you. You should go..." Logan felt like his chest would collapse as he waited for Callie to respond. It's almost over, he told himself. He wasn't prepared for what came next.
"Get over yourself, Logan. You lost your mother, and you think that you're the only person in the world who's gone through tragedy. Stop using it as an excuse for your bad decisions."
Logan felt a surge of anger. Was that really how she felt? Like he was hiding? He was doing this for her. He had spent he past month with her doing everything in his power to become a better man, to be the man she needed, and now she was calling him a coward? If she only knew how much this hurt and how much he loved her. She just wasn't listening, and he could feel his blood pressure rising. He had just wanted her to leave and move on with her life, but if she wanted a fight, he'd give her a fight. He cleared his throat and glared at her. Maybe he was mad at himself for putting them both in this situation, or maybe he was upset with her for attacking him like that. Either way, he felt his temples throb as he tried to calm himself down, as he tried to hold back from giving in to the urge to yell back at her.
"I'm not just going to stand here and let you push me away because you're afraid. If you just stopped for one second and thought about what an ass you're being, maybe you'd understand." Callie softened her tone, spoke lower. Logan could hear the exasperation in her voice. "You've been sneaking around and lying to me ever since their bill passed," she said.
"You're one to talk," he snapped back. He had been doing all of that to protect her. Couldn't she connect the dots? "You lied to me from the moment you got here. If you want to talk about sneaking around and not telling the truth, let's start with you. I was honest from the start. If you had even given me a little bit of trust, we wouldn't be having this conversation."
"Trust?" Callie said. "Trust? I was sent here against my will because your own father didn't trust you enough to leave you alone for a month. You have to gain trust, Logan. You have to earn it. It's not just given to you because you're somehow special."
Logan bit down on his lip and tried to hold back, but he just couldn't help himself. "Is that what this is about? My money?" Logan asked. "Do you really think I wouldn't give it all back if it meant I could have a normal relationship with my family or a chance at even some small piece of happiness? Do you think I like being Logan Harris, f*ck up bon vivant? You should leave, Callie. Go back to your family and your job and forget all about this. That's what you do, right? You make difficult situations go away."
"Is that what you want?" Callie asked. "You want me to leave so you can wallow in misery and blame me for the fact that you're too afraid to take another step?"
Logan could hear the pain in her voice, the trembling sound as she fought off tears. He couldn't look up at her. "What did you think was going to happen, Callie? Did you think you'd change me and tame me and that we'd get a house somewhere in the suburbs and have a few kids? This was never going to work out, and you know it. You knew it from the start. Well, now you can go. You had your fun. You let your hair down for a while and lived the good life. You'll have a great story for everyone back at the office." Logan looked up and saw the tears streaming down Callie's cheeks. Her eyes were bright red and just seeing her like that made Logan choke up. It was like she was looking right through him, like she knew what he was trying to do and hated him that much more for it. He cleared his throat and said, "This is what I do. You've had your fun, now it's time to leave. Go back to your life, Callie.”
Callie reached up and wrapped her hand around the thin gold strand of her pearl necklace and pulled hard, snapping the necklace. She held it in her clenched fist like she wanted to throw it at Logan's head. She looked deep into his eyes, and it gutted him to see her in so much pain. She opened her hand and let the necklace fall to the ground. She turned and walked away.
Logan wanted to jump out of his seat and run after her. He wanted to tell her that he loved her too, and that he just wanted what was best for her. He wanted to tell her that he didn't deserve her, and that in time she'd thank him for what he'd done. Instead, he leaned down and picked the broken necklace up off of the floor and slid it into his pocket. She was gone. Logan grabbed his glass and took a long, slow drink.