Ten Days of Perfect (November Blue #1)

“Again, five years ago. I’m not a wounded love-vet, just someone who’s been focused on other things.” Jesus, if Josh spoke about my heartbreak, maybe it was more visible than I thought.

“Anyway, he said that Bo looked at him with complete seriousness and said that when he first sang with you, and looked in to your eyes, it was like he was able to feel everything you’ve ever felt. He said his soul thumped inside of him and it felt like he’d known you and loved you for a thousand lifetimes.” She blinked, sending two tears to stain her cheek.

My mind went completely blank. The reservoir I thought I’d depleted in to my pillow was brimming with fresh tears. A thousand lifetimes? Feeling everything I’ve ever felt by looking in my eyes? I stared at Monica wide-eyed.

“I know, right?” She sensed my lack of words. “A thousand mother-fucking lifetimes this guy has loved you, and you find his ass strumming a guitar in a bar we’ve been going to for four years!” She cried and laughed at the same time. A beautiful mess.

“I . . .what the hell did Josh say to you after that?”

“He said that if that kind of love existed for everyone,” her voice broke the dam of sorrow once more, “he wasn’t sure it was with me.”

“Holy shit. What did you say?” I scanned the room for an escape.

“I told him to go. I was pissed, I was crying, I had no coherent response. He kissed me on top of the fucking head, said he loved me, and left. So, I’m left to understand that he loves me, just maybe not a thousand lifetimes worth,” her tone of sorrow shifted to one of anger.

“What a coward.”

“Exactly!” She seemed revived by her anger.

“Um…OK…So I’m going to call David Bryson and see if we can reschedule our meeting until tomorrow. We can close up, go eat ice cream and drink wine for the rest of the day - my place.” I refused to say Bo’s name for a moment.

“No, we’ve got to get this meeting out of the way so we don’t have to think about DROP again until Carrie sends us off to New Hampshire to meet with the whole damn group.” She drew her shoulders back and took a deep breath, like she was about to shoot a free throw.

“OK, Champ, whatever you say. Now, go to the bathroom and freshen up - you look like hell,” I said, forcing a smile as I pointed to the door.

Monica hugged me tightly.

“You’re the absolute best, Em. I think I’ve even loved you for a thousand lifetimes.” She left my office and shut the door.

I reached for my phone to text Bo. I wasn’t going to tell him about what Josh said to Monica. I didn’t want to betray Josh; I wanted to smack him, but not betray him.

Me: Just a heads up. Josh broke up with Monica last night. She’s a hot mess.

Bo: Shit really? That’s too bad.

Me: Yea-it’s not good. See you at noon.

I slammed my forehead down on the desk and waited for 12:00 to come.

A thousand lifetimes…

***

Knock knock… I jumped violently from the sleep I’d clearly been enjoying. I rubbed my neck as the door opened.

“Em, you OK?” Monica looked refreshed as I searched for the time.

It was 9:00am. I’d slept with my head on my desk for about an hour.

“Oh, yea, in super classy move, I passed out. Must have been all the crying I did last night…” I hadn’t gotten around to talking to Monica about my night.

“What happened?!” She was genuinely concerned.

“Oh, you know, Bo came over for a drink and cried in my shoulder. For fun, my parents showed up after he left. They asked all kinds of questions about the guitar - oh yea, Bo and I played the guitar - which caused me to start crying and so I told them everything. They shared their theories and left after midnight.”

She stared at me straight-faced, “I’m going to need a little more information.”

After I filled her in with actual details and words, she relaxed back into her chair.

“Raven’s right, you know.” Monica stared out the window.

“Right about what?” Besides everything.

“Don’t let someone else hold the strings, November. I’m not saying quit your job and frolic in the sand all day with Bo, but I’m saying don’t necessarily push him aside and focus solely on your work. You’ve done that for ever. But, if what Josh said is right, about a soul-love, a thousand lifetimes love, I don’t really know that you have a choice anyway…” Did my parents kidnap her last night and say to her all of the things I thought they were going to say to me?

“Monica, stop. Josh is an asshole. He took something Bo may have said out of context and used it as an excuse for some insecure bullshit he was feeling.”

“Ember, you didn’t see the look on Josh’s face. He was changed by that conversation with Bo. He couldn’t have ever made something like that up. Bo Cavanaugh clearly has it as bad for you as you do for him, and you need to drink that in. He loves you, November.” While her tone was somber, it was stern.