“I do. It’s just—” I stand up and run my fingers through my hair, trying to find the words. “You’ve seen me. And I know you’ve heard stories. It’s not like I keep my private life a secret, and that whole fiasco with Bryan Raine was all over the tabloids.”
Raine is an up-and-coming movie star, and it hadn’t ended well. Primarily because he was a selfish, self-absorbed prick who decided to dump me because it would be better for his career to screw an actress with clout.
“I fuck around,” I say, which pretty much sums up my entire adult life. “And it’s messed me up a lot. Bryan messed with my head. And then I went and slept with one of my best friends, and we managed to fuck that relationship up, too.”
I’m rattling my thoughts out, not sure if I’m revealing too much or too little, if I’m pushing him away or driving him closer.
“But then with you,” I continue. “I’ve never felt so—” I shake my head because I’m not going there. “It was amazing,” I say, backtracking. “But the timing was completely messed up. I was already supposed to go back. I was already deep into The Plan.”
“The Plan?”
“The whole reason I moved back to Texas in the first place. I need to get my head on straight. I’ve done a hell of a lot of dumb stuff.”
“Everyone’s done dumb stuff, kitten,” he says. “Running isn’t going to make you smarter. It just puts more distance between you and the problem.”
I shake my head. “It’s not about distance. It’s not even about avoiding sex. Not really. But sex knocks me off track, and I need to stay strong.”
“All right,” he says. “But if it’s not about distance and not about sex, then what is it about?”
That’s a good question, and not one I was sure I had the answer to. “It’s about...I guess it’s about figuring out who you are. Who I am. Does that sound foolish?”
He shakes his head, then moves to sit back on the bed opposite my chair. “No,” he says. “It doesn’t. Do you think you’re going to figure it out in Texas?”
“Yeah,” I say. “By way of Vegas,” I add, and then tell him about the job.
“It sounds like an excellent opportunity,” he says.
“It is. And I think I’ll be good at it.”
“I know you will.” He stands up, paces the room, then stops in front of me. “All right,” he says.
I’m confused. “All right?”
“I’m not going to argue with you, and I’m certainly not going to force you. If you think you need to make a quest and go home, then I won’t stop you.”
His expression is warm but intense. “I already know who you are, Jamie Archer. But I also know you have to figure it out on your own.”
His phone chimes, and he pulls it from his pocket, then glances at me, amused. “You texted me to rescue you?”
“I—oh. Yeah. Sorry. I realize it’s a little weird seeing as how I walked out on you, but...” I trail off in a shrug. “You were the first one I thought to text, so I tried to think of other people. But I couldn’t, and so...at any rate, it doesn’t matter. You rescued me even before I asked.”
He moves back in front of me, then reaches down and pulls me to my feet. “Thank you,” he says simply.
I shake my head in confusion. “For what?”
“For knowing that I will always be there for you, no matter what.”
“Ryan...” My voice is soft and full of emotion. Because he is right. I do know that, and the knowledge wraps around me like a soft blanket.
He smiles in what I think is understanding. Then the smile intensifies, and a hint of amusement touches his lips. “If getting to Texas is what you need, then I’ll get you there. First Vegas, then on to Dallas.”
“I can drive myself,” I say.
“Maybe,” he says. “But do you really want to? I provide a quality transportation service,” he adds with a cocky grin. “And all for a very reasonable price.”
“Price,” I repeat, amused. “What kind of price?”
“I’ll make you a deal,” he says. “And since we’re going to Vegas, we’ll let roulette decide the terms.”
“I’m still not following you,” I say.