Nine
After being awake half the night tossing and turning and wishing she could somehow go back a couple years and figure out a way around the Old Man, Maddie rolled out of bed a little after noon.
It had been a long time since she’d let herself sleep that late, but that’s what this trip was about. Figuring herself out. Staying up into the early hours of the morning letting her mind wander qualified.
Maddie stumbled out into the living room, stretching and noticed the light on her phone lying on the kitchen counter was lit, indicating she had a text message. She picked it up and unplugged it from the charger. The text was from Talan.
Just wanted to say hello. Hope everything’s good at home.
The ring hanging around her neck felt so heavy, it could pull her to the floor.
Or maybe that was her heart.
Why couldn’t she just tell him yes and be happy like any normal woman would be? Talan had a great job as a design engineer at Chrysler, he was sweet and funny, and he’d be a patient and loving husband and father—no question about it.
What was this mental block in her way?
As if she needed an answer to that question. MJ was always in her way. Him and his intensity, his inability to tell her how he felt. He’d never once told her he loved her.
Talan told her every day since the first time he’d said it.
What was she doing?
Maddie slumped down into one of the chairs at the tiny kitchen table. She had to get over MJ. Past their past. On to her future. Just because he knew her inside and out didn’t mean they were meant to be together.
They fought too much to be together anyway.
She got up and grabbed a paper towel and some cleaning spray to wipe up the coffee ring her dad left on the table. Her mind drifted to a fight she and MJ had over the summer when they were together. He’d been jealous of one of the single Little League dads who had stopped her to talk after practice one day. Charlie Singleton’s dad.
“You’re a pretty good fielder,” Mr. Singleton said, helping her collect baseballs scattered behind the backstop. “Got an arm on you for a girl,” he said, laughing. He winked and let his eyes roam up and down her body. “For a woman I should say.”
He was good looking for a guy probably ten years older than her, but she only had interest in one man. “Thanks,” she said, stuffing balls into the big, canvas ball bag.
“Charlie really likes you. Talks about you all the time. I think he might have a little crush.” He came close, his arms loaded with balls. She held the bag open for him. “Not that I blame him.” He dumped the balls in and ducked his head so his mouth was close to her ear. “I think I have a little crush too.”
Flattered and embarrassed, Maddie stepped back, letting go of the bag. Baseballs rolled in every direction. “Oh,” she said, watching the balls leave trails behind in the soft, dusty dirt.
One of the balls flew past her and hit Mr. Singleton on the leg. Maddie’s eyes shot up to find MJ stalking toward them.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” he said, his eyes hard, brow lowered and creased in anger. “I meant to toss that into the bag. Guess she dropped it for some reason.”
“Yeah,” Mr. Singleton said, brushing dirt off his jeans where the ball hit. “Good aim.” He smiled, like he was joking, trying to lighten the mood, but MJ wasn’t lightening up.
MJ stood beside her, feet planted apart, arms folded across his chest, glaring at Mr. Singleton.
“Don’t,” Maddie whispered. “Please. For Coach.”
“Good practice today,” Mr. Singleton said. “I was just telling Maddie how much Charlie talks about you guys. You’ve taught him a lot this year.”
“Great,” MJ said, the word sharp and pointed.
Mr. Singleton watched MJ for a moment before turning and waving them off. “See you at the game Saturday.”
“Bye!” Maddie called, hoping Coach hadn’t just lost his team’s catcher. She pivoted on her heel to face MJ, her hands coming up to rest in fists on her hips. “What the hell was that about? You totally threw that at him intentionally.”
MJ stepped toward her and leaned in, his nose almost touching hers. “You’re damn right I threw it at him intentionally. One of us had to stop him before he tossed you on the ground and screwed you right here.”
“Are you insane? It was no big deal. I’m not going to run off with every guy who hits on me.”
He cocked his head, his own hands on his hips. “Guys hit on you all the time then, huh? That’s just f*cking fantastic, Maddie.”
She threw her hands in the air. “Why are you mad at me? I don’t ask them to!”
MJ gestured to Mr. Singleton’s retreating form. “You don’t stop them either!”
“Enough!” Coach stood beside them. They hadn’t noticed him walk up. “You two are being stupid.” He grabbed MJ’s shoulder. “Especially you. Peach is a beautiful girl. Of course men are going to notice. Don’t make your insecurity her problem. That’s not fair to her.”
MJ smirked and shook his head. “I’m not insecure.”
Coach quirked an eyebrow. “You sure about that?” He patted him on the back and left them standing in the pile of spilled baseballs.
Maddie knelt and began collecting the balls. “Why are you like this?”
MJ crouched and held the bag open. “I’m not supposed to be mad when another guy hits on you in front of me?”
She sighed and pushed her hair off of her sweaty forehead. “Don’t you trust me?”
He didn’t stop tossing balls in the bag and didn’t look at her. “Of course I trust you,” he muttered.
“It doesn’t seem like it.”
MJ blew out a deep breath and sat back on the dirt. “You could have anyone.” He nodded toward the now empty parking lot. “Mr. Singleton is set. He’s got a good job, a house, money in the bank.”
Maddie eased down on her knees beside him. “You’re right. I should go for it. I mean, isn’t every twenty-two-year-old woman’s dream to hook up with a divorced, single dad? Instant family. Good thing he’s ‘set’ so I can go shopping whenever my step-kid starts driving me crazy. You know how I am with the retail therapy.”
She hated shopping and he knew it. He licked his lips and fought back a smile. “It’s not a joke.”
“It is a joke if you think I want to be with anyone else.” Maddie got up and brushed the dust off her butt. Everyone was gone. It was just the two of them at the very back field in the complex.
MJ stood and wrapped his arms around her from behind, burying his nose in her neck. “I didn’t do it to piss you off. I can’t stand it when men look at you like that. I wanted to tear his head off.” He gently bit the curve between her neck and shoulder. “You bring out urges in me I can’t control, Mads.”
A shiver ran down her back, followed by the heat of his breath against her skin. She let herself relax against him. “You have a terrible temper.”
MJ sucked her earlobe and groaned. “I know a better way to get this aggression out of my system.” His hand snuck up her shirt and teased her breast. The other blazed a trail down over her stomach and between her legs.
Suddenly, her jeans seemed too hot, too tight and too in the way. “MJ,” she whispered.
“Behind the concession stand or in the car?” His fingers teased and rubbed.
“Concession stand is closer.” She ran her hand up his arm and squeezed.
MJ spun her around, picked her up over his shoulder and ran to the little wooden shack standing with its back to an open field of wildflowers. Setting her on her feet behind it, he pressed her against the wall and kissed her.
His lips opened hers and their tongues tangled, his fierce and urgent. She shut her eyes against the blinding yellow-red of the setting sun streaking the sky behind him, cloaking him in dark shadow.
With deft, fast fingers, he unbuttoned her jeans, lowered the zipper and pushed them down her legs. “Turn around.” He didn’t wait for her to move. He spun her around, placed her hands above her head, palms flat against the sun-warmed wood of the concession shed.
His fingers shoved inside her and she gasped, arching her back and pushing her bottom against his hand.
“How do I make you feel?” he asked, balling her hair up and pulling her back against him harder. His fingers never stopped caressing and rubbing her inside and she felt herself coming unglued.
“So good,” she whispered. “I love it.”
He nipped the back of her neck, then licked it, soothing her. “Nobody else gets to do this. Only me.”
“Only you.” He moved in and out of her faster, rocked her harder against his hand. Her body swelled, tingled, throbbed. She moaned and writhed her hips in pleasure.
“Stay still,” he said, and his hands were off of her, his body taken away.
She heard his zipper and reached behind her to take him, hard and ready, in her hand.
“Jesus, Mads, you kill me. You make me crazy.”
Maddie leaned her chest against the wall, arching her back and guiding him to her opening. “Please,” she whispered, so close she could go mad with waiting for him to give her release.
MJ gripped her hips and drove inside her. She cried out and slammed her hands against the wall.
A knock on the door made Maddie jump and pulled her out of her fantasy. She was flustered, her body heated from the memory.
She threw the paper towels away and stalked to the door. Tugging it open, she looked into the face of the shadowed man from her daydream, complete with ball cap and stubbled jaw.
Her body responded instantly, nipples puckering, slick heat between her legs.
He studied her for a moment. “What’s wrong? Are you sick?” he asked, shoving his way inside. He put a hand to her forehead. “Your face is all red.”
Her skin burst into flames with his touch. “No. I’m fine.” She turned from him and slammed the door. “Why are you here? It’s not 2:45 yet.”
MJ drummed his fingers on the table, gazing around the apartment. “You wanted to talk.” His ebony eyes met hers, making her put a hand out to steady herself against the counter. “So talk,” he said.
Maddie fought the lust zinging through her body, her sensible side telling her to get rid of him. Her sensible side rarely won in situations like this. “Talk?”
“Yeah, you know. The thing you’re doing with your mouth.”
Her mind flashed to him kissing her. “I like what you do with your mouth.”
She held his gaze, willing him to come out of the shell of sarcasm and bad attitude he crawled into whenever she was near.
“Don’t,” he said, slamming his hand against the table. “Don’t f*ck with my head.”
Her chest heaved. He was so close. She knew how he could be when he was mad. Knew how he’d take her. Nobody could make her feel what MJ made her feel when he was cloaked in darkness trying to break free.
“It’s not your head I have in mind,” she said, easing forward.
His lips tightened, eyes narrowed. He grabbed her and pushed her down onto her back on top of the table. His hands fisted in the hem of her shirt. She wrapped her legs around his waist and pressed her hips into him.
He groaned. “You just don’t know.”
When she dug her heels into the back of his thighs and thrust against him a second time, he tore her thin T-shirt up the front. Still in her pajamas, her chest was bare and she was all too aware of the diamond flashing on the long chain between her breasts.
MJ braced his hands on either side of her, peering down at the ring, eyes wide with disbelief. “What the f*ck is that?”
She reached for it, but he was quicker. He snatched the ring off of her chest and squeezed it in his hand, his eyes burning into hers. “You’re f*cking engaged?”
How could she have forgotten it was there? “No. I—”
“No?” He held the ring in front of her face.
Maddie gazed through the sparkling stone between them. MJ’s tilted eyes and parted lips spoke louder than anything he could say. How could she let this happen? How could she hurt him again?
“I haven’t decided,” she said, her voice hoarse and thick.
“You haven’t decided?” He let his head drop, laughing, mocking her.
It was painful to hear. Not because she didn’t deserve it, because his pain was so raw in the hollow sound.
He looked back up at her and squeezed the ring in his fist above her chest. “You decided to let me f*ck you on your dad’s kitchen table with this around your neck. That’s how much I mean to you.”
“No!” She grasped his face between her hands. “I—”
MJ shook her off. “F*ck this, Maddie.” He yanked the ring. With a sharp, painful, burn of metal digging into her neck, the chain broke. “You’re not getting married.”
She shoved him back and sat up, rubbing the back of her neck. “I haven’t decided, or I wouldn’t be here.”
He took a few steps back and folded his arms. The chain dangled from his fist. “Why are you here?”
She ran her hands down her face. Her legs dangled off the edge of the table. Her shirt hung open, but she didn’t try to cover herself. She was as bare now as she could be with him holding her ring in his hand. “I told him I needed time to get away and think, so we agreed to a break.”
MJ threw his head back and paced into the living room and back again. He stopped in front of her and stepped between her legs. “I’ll make this easy for you.” He let the ring slip between his fingers, holding tight to the end of the chain. The diamond swung back and forth in front of her face, flashing in the overhead light.
He took her chin and held her still, his dark eyes fixed on hers. “When you can look me in the eye and tell me you want to marry him, I’ll give it back.”
He wasn’t playing fair. He knew she could never do that. She would never say those words to him.
Maddie reached for the ring, but he pulled it away. “This isn’t about you,” she said.
He smirked and shook his head, knowing as well as she did what an enormous lie she’d just uttered.
It was always about him.