Twelve
Unease crept over MJ. Not because he was taking a leisurely walk with his dad beside the lake, but because the fact that he was taking a leisurely stroll with Merrick didn’t make him uneasy.
It should. He should be a nervous wreck, but he wasn’t. He couldn’t figure out if he was that much of a detached a*shole to have no feelings about this at all, or if it just hadn’t sunk in enough for his brain to believe it was real.
He pretty much just didn’t know what the hell to think.
Beside him, Merrick let out a sharp, disdainful chuckle and shook his head. “Jesus, you’re a grown man. I missed everything.”
“It’s not your fault,” MJ said, wondering where the words were coming from. He must have some auto-responder in his brain turned on. God knows he’d thought about this moment enough times. His mouth probably had the words he’d wanted to say memorized.
“I’m sorry,” Merrick said. “You shouldn’t have had to grow up with him.”
The Old Man. Enzo. “Don’t worry about it. I survived.”
“I need to get you out of here. I don’t have any right to make you leave, but I can’t stand you being here with him.” Merrick reached up and ran his hand briskly over the back of his head, like the thought of Enzo made his skin crawl.
“Turtle Tear?” MJ asked. “Rachael asked me if I wanted to go.”
Merrick’s head snapped to look at him. “Will you?”
Maddie flashed in MJ’s mind. He’d been anxious to get away from her, but now he didn’t know if he wanted to. He knew he should. If he stayed, he’d pressure her into being with him just to win her from the other guy. He wouldn’t stop until she gave in, and that wasn’t how she should make her decision.
But he still wasn’t giving the ring back until she asked him for it.
Being at Turtle Tear with Merrick and Rachael—both strangers to him—and his aunt and uncle… Jesus, it would be like a freaking family reunion. Awkward with forced conversation and probably bad food too. But, the alternative wasn’t looking so hot either. “Yeah. I’ll go.”
“Good. I have to wrap up a few legal issues with your grandfather and my lawyer before I join you, but you and Rachael can leave in the morning.”
The morning? Nothing like having time to ease into the idea. “I can wait until you’ve got everything here done.”
Merrick shook his head, adamant. “I’d rather have you out from under his nose as soon as possible, if that’s okay with you?”
With his housing at school up in the air and Maddie hounding and haunting his every waking thought—what the hell?—he might as well take off. “Sounds good then.”
Merrick nodded to the tree line in front of them. “I used to hide out back here in the cemetery. Morbid, but nobody bothered me. Your aunt was afraid. Wouldn’t step foot in these woods.”
“My mom’s buried in the cemetery. Me and my friend Maddie used to hang out back here too.”
Merrick licked his lips and pressed them together tightly. “I’m sorry about your mom.”
MJ only nodded. He couldn’t talk about it. He’d hated his dad for a long time. Blamed him for his mom being dead. Mostly because he couldn’t blame Merrick for not being around himself.
They stopped walking at the cross-shaped path marker on the ground. “Should we visit her?” Merrick asked.
MJ had never thought of this scenario before—not in his wildest dreams. His mom and dad together. Even if one was six feet under. Something about the idea made him queasy, but he swallowed it down. “Yeah. Probably.”
The trail was narrow, so Merrick motioned for him to go first. MJ trudged up the sun-dappled hill, birds singing in the branches overhead. Whatever the weird numbness was that wrapped around him, he hoped it didn’t crack when he saw her grave.
Reaching the top of the hill, he stopped and looked down into the cemetery. Merrick stepped up beside him and tucked his hands in his pockets, his chin dropped, gazing at the pink marble grave marker below.
“I picked out the angel,” Merrick said.
The hurt and regret in his voice made MJ flinch. “Did she like angels?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t know her very well.”
Neither of them made a move to get closer.
“I used to talk to her when I came here,” Merrick said. “I’d sit on the ground and just talk about whatever came to mind.” He turned his head slightly toward MJ. “I begged her not to hate me.”
MJ closed his eyes. It was rushing in—the emotions—like a hurricane against a seawall. “She doesn’t hate you.”
“What about you?”
“No.”
They stood in silence. Leaves rustled in the wind. “We should get back,” Merrick said.
“Yeah.” He gestured down to his mom’s grave. “I’ll catch up.” MJ couldn’t leave without touching the angel. He had a dumb superstition that it brought him luck. So far, for the past twenty years, he didn’t have a lot of proof that it worked, but it was a habit he couldn’t break now.
Kind of like Maddie. Just having her sitting in the golf cart beside him on the way to the guest cottage gave him strength. He wasn’t sure he would’ve been able to deal with today without her.
At the bottom of the hill, he picked one of the fat, white wildflowers that Maddie always loved. She called them Queen Anne’s Lace if he remembered right. He stepped up to his mom’s headstone and sat it beside the angel, touching her wing.
A small bouquet of Queen Anne’s Lace landed beside MJ’s foot. He spun to find Merrick at the base of the grave. “I do know she liked these,” he said, gesturing to the flowers. “She’d take your aunt Heidi for walks and they’d come back with their hands full of them.”
MJ finally knew something about his mom. He’d never known anything but her name and what the Old Man had told him—she was nice, sweet, kind—generic comments that could’ve been about anyone else in the world.
“Come on,” Merrick said. He turned and walked slowly, waiting for MJ to follow.
After a moment, MJ took a few deliberate steps forward. He wasn’t used to having someone to follow.
Beside the cottage, Maddie sat beside Rachael, the two of them perched in Adirondack chairs barefooted, sipping iced tea. At the sight of her, MJ could breathe deeper. Having her here was keeping him sane… and making him crazy, but he’d take both if he could always see the smile blooming on her lips as he approached.
Merrick leaned down and kissed Rachael. She reached up and took his hand. Standing beside Maddie, MJ stuck his hands in his pockets. Merrick smiled and nodded at Maddie.
“Oh,” MJ said. “Sorry. This is Maddie Simcoe.” He felt stupid not giving context to why she was with him, and he didn’t want them thinking she was his girlfriend. “The house manager’s daughter.”
Merrick reached out and shook her hand. “Merrick Rocha. Nice to meet you.”
“You too,” Maddie said, beaming. “I’ve heard a lot about you over the years. I’m happy to say I believed none of it.”
Merrick laughed. “I can just imagine.”
Really? Was MJ really standing here in the sunshine with Maddie sipping iced tea, laughing with his dad? It was right out of The Twilight Zone.
Rachael gave MJ a pointed look. “Before you got here, I was telling Merrick about Enzo’s offer to give you Rocha Enterprises.”
“You can take my word for it on this one,” Merrick said. “I’m making sure it’s going to happen with or without your grandfather agreeing to it.”
MJ wondered what he meant, but didn’t want to get into this conversation right now. Enzo was a poison that he wouldn’t let ruin this moment. “So, Turtle Tear,” he said, steering them in a new direction, “how long have you had it?”
Merrick’s hand tightened around Rachael’s and he smiled down at her. “It’s Rachael’s. She’s had it for a few months now. She brought it back to life from ruins.”
“We both did,” Rachael said, gazing up at Merrick.
Their relationship couldn’t be that old. They were still too into each other.
Maddie nudged his foot with hers and smiled her smile that had held a million promises in the past. How could he trust that smile? Did he even want to?
Who was he kidding? Hell yes he wanted to. He wanted to get inside her and never leave. Physically and mentally. He wanted to know what came between them and why she let it. He needed answers and he’d have them.
Maybe it was his turn to run away and see if she followed.
MJ had been quiet all the way back to the big house. Maddie had the distinct impression that something had happened or been said between him and Merrick on their walk that he was keeping from her.
“How’d it go?” she asked. “On your walk? What did you two talk about?”
He plopped down into a wicker chair on the flagstone patio. “She liked those flowers you like. The white ones. Queen Anne’s Lace.”
At first, his words threw her, then she realized who he meant. “Your mom?”
He nodded. “It went fine.”
Maddie wanted to pry more words out from between his lips, but didn’t know if it was her place anymore. She’d taken a big risk two summers ago and crossed the line—leaped over the line—of friendship and they couldn’t turn back again.
“He said he was sorry.” MJ mindlessly flicked a bug off the arm of the chair. “Asked me if I hated him.”
“You never hated him,” Maddie said, leaning toward him over the arm of her chair. She needed to touch him, to make sure he was really okay, but she held herself back.
“No,” he said, leaning back in the chair with his hands linked behind his head. His soft T-shirt hugged his chest. “I never hated him. I wanted to sometimes.”
“I know.”
He slouched down farther in the chair. “Of course you know.”
She used to know his every thought. Now it was like their link had been severed. She’d taken a knife to it and slashed it in half. Maddie could only ever guess what he was thinking. What he was feeling. It drove her crazy not knowing what was inside his head and heart. “Do you hate me?” she asked.
MJ lifted his head and gripped the arms of the chair. “I’ve never hated you. I wanted to sometimes.” His dark eyes were heavy with remorse. “I should.”
The words were meant to hurt her, and they did. She was immediately sick to her stomach. She was desperate for his forgiveness and he knew it. He played on her emotions to wound her like she’d wounded him.
And it worked. The pain inside her was so distressing, her heart had to be bleeding.
This is what MJ does to you, she told herself.
This is not love.
This is a sickness.
It was good that they weren’t together anymore. Just like his grandfather, MJ was playing a game Maddie couldn’t win.
“I’ve made my decision,” she said, and instantly knew that she had. It was the one that had been the only choice all along. “I need the ring back. I’m not marrying Talan. I have to take it back to him.”
MJ’s eyes narrowed in skepticism. “You’re going back to Michigan to give him his ring back?”
She took a deep, steadying breath and nodded. “Yes. In the morning.”
He rubbed his finger under his lips, which were pressed together tight. For whatever reason, he wasn’t finding her news believable. “I’ll give it to you then. In the morning. Before you leave.”
Maddie mirrored his shrewd gaze right back at him. “Why not now? What’s the point in keeping it?”
“You might change your mind overnight.”
“I won’t.”
They stared at each other, neither of them giving an inch. After a few minutes, MJ stood and stretched. “See you in the morning, Mads.” He leaned down and kissed her forehead. “Sleep well.”
Times like these, she wanted to smack his face, then kiss him senseless, then smack him again. With her tangle of emotions, it was best that she left in the morning. She’d tell Talan she loved him, but couldn’t marry him, and then start the hunt for a job and new roommate before Kara got back from her honeymoon.
It was past time Maddie started her adult life and cutting ties with her past in Sandy Springs was the first step forward.