She looked on the verge of tears and Maia drew her gently into her arms. “It’s okay. We’ll figure something out.”
Then Maia looked to me, as if for guidance. I wanted to tell her to take Bridget back to my place while I smashed the living shit out of Alex. I wanted to tell her that no one should have to put up with this, least of all his own mother. I wanted to tell her that Alex had gone too far, that this was beyond forgiveness.
But I knew that I wasn’t the one he would be asking for forgiveness from. And Bridget would forgive him, just like she’d forgiven him for everything else he’d done. Tonight, he would rant and rave and spew his poison over all of us. And tomorrow, he would wake up none the wiser. It was Bridget who would have to go to work tomorrow sporting a bruise. His own mother, who was suffering from the same grief he was – now doubled, thanks to him.
What happened to honouring Emily’s memory? What would she have done? Would she have looked at me like Maia was right at that moment?
I swallowed down the revulsion I felt towards him for putting me in this situation.
“Stay here. Leave him to me,” I said tightly, turning and heading back down the hallway.
My footsteps reverberated off the wooden floors, and I hope he heard me. I sure as hell heard Bridget, sobbing quietly in Maia’s arms behind me. It spurred me on, feeding my anger.
I stopped when I got to the open plan kitchen and dining room. Alex was standing near the French doors, leaning on the back of one of the dining room chairs, head bowed. He was looking more and more like Bridget these days, but unlike Bridget he looked unkempt. God only knew what he was into these days, but I had my suspicions it was more than just booze. He had lost weight and he looked much older than me, even though we were the same age.
I wanted to believe that he knew what he was doing but he couldn’t stop himself. I hoped it was grief that made him act this way, and that the real Alex was still in there, somewhere. I just wished to hell he’d wake up to himself and get some help. If he carried on behaving like this, he was on a sure-fire path to self-destruction. I couldn’t bear to think of Bridget losing both her kids. As resilient as she was, that would be enough to break anyone.
He looked up slowly, and I could see how out of it he was. He had trouble focusing on me. Good. Maybe the drunker he was, the less likely he would be to cause any more trouble.
“What the fuck do you want?” he growled, confusion giving way to anger as he pushed himself upright.
“I’m taking you home,” I said evenly. “You’ve out-stayed your welcome.”
Honestly, the idea of being in the same car as him sent a chill up my spine. But if it got him away from Bridget – and Maia – that was a small price to pay.
“I’m not going anywhere with you.”
That didn’t really surprise me. Somehow, he managed to hold my gaze steadily, even though he himself was the opposite. Great. Not drunk enough to go quietly, but definitely drunk enough to cause more damage.
I could hear footsteps coming up the hall, and quiet sniffing. Alex’s bloodshot eyes slid from mine to the hall behind me. I could tell the exact moment he laid eyes on Maia. His mouth went slack, his eyes widened and he somehow managed the miracle of standing stock still.
“Em?” he whispered.
The hope in his voice was pitifully clear. I knew how much he wanted her to be Em, because I’d wanted that too. But she wasn’t. And despite everything, I had to let him down gently because I knew how much it hurt.
I turned side on, keeping all three of them in my line of sight. I was wired, prepared for anything. But still the disbelief on his face took me by surprise. I actually felt sorry for him. I reached out for Maia’s hand, gently drawing her in closer to me.
“This is Maia. Maia – Alex.”
Stripped of his former bravado, he just stared at her.
“Hi,” she said softly.
Alex made his way around the table, stumbling over one of the dining chairs as he caught it with his foot. He didn’t take his eyes off her and he didn’t speak, but the expression on his face made my heart ache. Had he even heard a word I said?
I put my hand out toward Alex, warning him off. I could feel Maia bristling beside me anxiously.
“Alright,” I said quickly. “Enough. I’ll take you home.”
That seemed to jolt Alex out of his stupor and he tore his eyes away from her. “What?”
“Please, love,” Bridget pleaded, standing beside us, wringing her hands together nervously. “Let him take you home.”
He looked from me to Bridget, and finally back to Maia again. Then he straightened up, backing away a couple of steps and reaching out blindly for a chair to hold onto.
“You’re not her,” he said, as if he had caught her trying to trick him. “You’re not Em.”
She shook her head sadly. “No, I’m not. I’m sorry.”
He deflated in front of me. I saw the hope wither and die inside of him. His expression changed in a heartbeat, and he went dark with rage, turning that rage back on me.