“Sounds about right,” Alex huffed, staggering slightly. “Y’know, I never knew what the hell she saw in you. She was so popular, everyone loved her – but you? You were just the weirdo who spent all your spare time at the beach. Talk about your opposites. I should’ve told her that from the start – that you were never gonna make her happy. Maybe she’d still be here.”
“I’ve had just about enough of this shit,” Vinnie snarled, coming out from behind the table. “Just because he won’t hit you, doesn’t mean I won’t. I don’t give a shit what your deal is, you need to get the hell off your high horse and stop acting like such a bloody martyr. Take a good look at yourself, Alex – do you really think Em would want this?”
Things were spiralling out of control. I moved around beside Vinnie, silently warning him to cut it out.
“And what the fuck would you know about what she would’ve wanted?” Alex demanded, stepping forward and pushing me aside as he faced up to Vinnie. “She was my sister – you think you knew her better than I did?”
“I think Heath knew her better than any of us – and I think that’s what’s pissing you off the most, isn’t it?”
“That’s it – that’s enough,” I said, pushing Alex backwards just as Vinnie looked like he was going to throw a punch.
“Don’t you fuckin’ touch me!” Alex roared. “You’ve got blood on your hands and I don’t want it anywhere near me!”
The icy barb spiked straight through my heart. If I didn’t get out of here soon, this was gonna be a fight it would be impossible to walk away from.
“I’m gonna tell you one last time,” I said slowly, dropping my chin and eyeballing Alex. “I had nothing to do with what happened to Em, and somewhere deep inside that twisted, black heart of yours, you know I’m telling the truth. Whatever your deal is, it’s got nothing to do with me. You need to sort your shit out, mate.” Alex stared me down, with eyes much darker and much more dangerous than Emily’s, although there was a certain similarity there, especially when they were both fired up. “We’re going now. You better get the hell out of here too, before the cops get here and you find yourself in the cells overnight – again.”
Alex seemed to be thinking it over for a moment, although he didn’t move. I assumed it was the alcohol, or whatever else he was on, slowing down his reaction time. I waited for him to decide. If he came at me, I knew I’d have to take a swing. I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself. Part of me wanted to. Part of me knew it wouldn’t do any good.
Alex surprised me, though. Instead of throwing a punch, at either of us, he just turned and walked out, weaving his way between the tables and shoving anyone aside who got in his way.
The conversation all around us seemed to start up again. The TV in the corner was once again background noise, drowned out by the general hubbub.
Vinnie squeezed my shoulder. “You okay?”
“Fine.”
“I thought you were going to smack him one, finally.”
I huffed out a humourless laugh. “I thought you were.”
“Maybe we both should’ve.”
“Maybe you’re right.”
He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me back down onto a chair. “Come on. We’ve got a beer to finish and hot chicks to get home to.”
I COULDN’T GET ALEX out of my mind. During the short drive from town to my place, I went over and over what had just happened. I think what hurt so much was the fact that he always knew just where to dig, just what to say. It was like some kind of sixth sense with him.
If I’d just listened to Em that night, would she still be here? Was it my fault?
I wanted to believe that it wasn’t, but there would always be a part of me that wondered. Maybe I would always wonder, maybe that would never go away. The thought of carrying that around inside me for the rest of my life made me feel sick to my stomach. I wasn’t sure I was strong enough.
And now he’d dragged Maia into the sordid horror show that was his hatred of me. She didn’t deserve that. None of this had anything to do with her. It made my skin crawl to think of him sidling up to her somewhere, sometime, and having a go at her like he’d just had a go at me. I could take it, hell, part of me felt I deserved it, but she had nothing to do with this.
Unless she did.
Unless I made the same mistake with Maia that I had with Em.
Not caring enough. Not loving enough. Not doing enough.
I had to tell her. I had to tell Maia how I felt, and get her to open up to me. The only way I could be sure I wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice was for us both to be completely honest with each other. It made what we had seem more fragile than ever.
I pulled up outside my house, and just seeing her car in the driveway seemed like a positive sign. Only days ago, the house had seemed empty. Now, it was the opposite. It was as if someone had flipped a switch, filling the shadows with light.
I walked up the front path, looking forward to taking her into my arms and kissing her until we were both breathless.
I opened the front door. “Maia?”
For several long moments, the house remained quiet.
Then, “I’m in here.”
She sounded strange. I closed the door behind me and walked down the hall towards the spare bedroom.