Sweet Forty-Two

“What I mean is, she seems like she’s pretty ... popular with the patrons at the bar.”

CJ slapped together a sandwich, took a bite, and responded with a mouth full of turkey. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Oh come on, guys,” Ember looked exasperated as she played with the strings on her hoodie, “each night we were there she left with a different guy, and was all over everyone else. Don’t you think it’s all a bit ... much?”

My stomach twisted as CJ’s eyes shot to Ember defensively. “First of all, princess, she’s an adult. Second of all, she doesn’t do anything different than I, or half the other guys at Finnegan’s do every weekend, so you don’t need to judge her.”

“I judge you,” Ember mumbled between bites of organic lettuce from her parents’ garden.

“And I judge you,” CJ shot back. “Seriously, what do you care what she does with her time?”

Ember dropped her fork onto her plate. “You want to know why? I’ve spent nearly five years working for a domestic violence organization. It doesn’t matter how much we want gender roles not to matter, CJ. They do. The fact is, Georgia is almost infinitely times more likely to get raped than you ever will be by behaving the same exact way you do. And, the fact that you encourage her makes you incredibly irresponsible. You call yourself a friend? I call you clueless.”

“Regan,” Ember turned to me before CJ could respond, “if you do take that apartment, promise me you’ll be careful, and that you’ll keep an eye out. For her.”

I swallowed a forkful of seeds, nodding as my throat constricted around Ember’s implications. I hadn’t, honestly, thought much about Georgia’s safety in her actions. I’d spent too much time thinking Ember was judging her, being a bitch because she perceived her as slutty. Maybe that was an impression I’d had, too.

It frustrated me that she behaved the way she did. She was beautiful, funny, charming, and badass. I didn’t know enough about her, and I wasn’t close enough to her, though, to suggest she lead her life any other way.

Looking up, I found CJ red-faced and holding his sandwich in mid-air, staring at Ember. “What makes you think she’s going to get raped?”

“It’s not what I think, CJ. I was just telling you statistics. When she behaves like that, it’s going to invite the wrong kind of guy one of these times. It doesn’t cross your mind, CJ, because you’re not like that. You’d never do that. But, unfortunately, not all guys are like you. And, when alcohol and/or drugs are involved, even more people get into trouble.”

CJ didn’t respond. There was no attack, no smart-ass comment. He simply sat in silence. We all did.

After cleaning up from lunch, I tracked CJ down outside in the sand. His feet were buried as his forearms were propped up on his bent knees. I sat next to him, mimicking his position and staring out into the water until he was ready to talk.

“It’s not like that with her. Georgia...” He let his head fall, staring between his knees.

“Like what?”

“She’s not ... just she’s not like that.” CJ’s hands bounced, as he seemed to search for words that weren’t coming.

“I’m not worried, CJ. You said you two hung out a lot in high school, and whatever—”

“I’m worried. Her dad died.”

“Yeah, she told me. And her mom...” I sighed. There was so much loss everywhere.

CJ’s back straightened. “She told you about her mom?”

“Yeah,” I nodded, “gone, too.”

“Oh,” CJ looked at his knuckles, “yeah. Now they’re both gone.”

“When did her mom die?”

CJ shook his head. “It was all just really bad...”

I wrapped my arm around his shoulder and he didn’t move. He didn’t pull away. Even though I’m not his brother, I suddenly felt extreme guilt for not being around for him during the time I’d gone away to boarding school and then to college. It seems a lot happened in the two years CJ had left of high school while I was at the conservatory.

“Just keep an eye on her for me, okay? She’s been through a lot, and I didn’t even know about her dad until last night.” CJ’s face broke down a little as he covered his face with his hands.

I hadn’t seen him cry since the last time I kicked his ass when I was twelve and he was ten, so I wasn’t absolutely sure that’s what he was doing. Still, I gave his shoulder another squeeze just in case.

“I don’t really have much stuff.” I broke the stiff silence. “Do you want to swing by the place and check it out with me?”

CJ rubbed the back of his neck. “Sure, is she gonna be there?”

I shrugged. “Not sure. She said she had something to do north of La Jolla today. She didn’t say what.”

“Let’s go, then. I want to have time today to play around in that recording studio where you lucky bastards get to spend the next few months.”

I stood, reaching a hand down to help CJ up. “Let’s go, brother.”