Submit and Surrender

chapter 23


Holy shit. Holy, holy shit.

Adra kept repeating it to herself on the drive back to Ford’s house, her arm resting up by her window, her head in one hand while Ford held the other. She couldn’t stop smiling, either, looking over at him occasionally.

Yeah, this was happening.

It was that same feeling you got on a roller coaster that moment when you knew it was really happening.

Maybe not the best analogy.

She squeezed his hand and tried to calm herself down, but it was no use. Of course it wasn’t. She’d spent years trying to make sure she never felt the things she was feeling right now; she was totally out of practice at it. It was like a giant weight had been lifted off of her, a weight that she’d carried so long that she’d forgotten it was there—pretending that she wasn’t in love with Ford. The feeling of suddenly being free was almost like subspace.

It was amazing.

She could handle it. Probably. She was overloaded, but she could handle it.

Adra shared a look with Ford then looked down at her hand. It was shaking.

He saw it, too.

“Oh my God,” Adra said, laughing lightly. “I am such a nutcase. Did you know that, falling in love with me? Total nutcase?”

Ford smiled at the road. “It’s part of your charm,” he said.

“Then I have got plenty of charm for you, mister. Get ready to be charmed. I will charm you to within an inch of your life.”

Adra heard the distinctive crunch of Ford’s gravel drive and looked ahead to see his house illuminated in the distance by the headlights.

“No, that’s not what we’ll be doing,” Ford said.

It was the voice. That easy confidence. That utter certainty.

Without another word, Ford got out of the truck and walked around to her side. Adra didn’t move. By the time he opened her door, she was breathing quickly. Shallowly.

He had that look.

“Get out of the car,” he said, and offered his hand.

Adra tried. But as she swung her legs out, Ford stopped her, looking at her heels and frowning.

Then he picked her up.

Now she was overloaded.

He carried her like that, heart thudding against her chest so hard that she was sure he felt it in his, her arms around his neck, her body melded to his, up the front walk and…

Around to the back gardens?

She hadn’t spent a whole lot of time out there since she’d been staying with Ford. In fact, she’d spent more time with Ford, usually naked, than anything else, and they’d both been so busy that she never got to use the pool or anything else.

She didn’t know the grounds very well in the dark, but she definitely recognized that fire pit between the Jacuzzi and the pool. And the crazy modern sculpture thing right next to it.


She’d always wondered about that sculpture. It was like a giant burnished circle of metal that pivoted, tilting with the sun, or…

Oh.

It wasn’t a sculpture. Or it was, but it was also…functional. You could see the restraint attachments if you were really, really looking.

Ford put her down right in front of it.

“Step into it,” he said.

Hesitantly, Adra stepped under the upper arch of the thing and looked up. It must have been seven foot in diameter, fixed on the sides to support poles so that it could…spin.

Ford had taken the lid off a nearby bench that apparently doubled as storage. Adra recognized the restraints he removed—soft leather, strong chains.

She took a very deep breath.

He didn’t speak as he tied her up. Just his hands on her body, positioning her where he wanted her, making sure she stayed there. Her arms were above her head, bound by wrist cuffs attached to chains. Her legs were spread, her ankles bound the same way, her dress riding up almost to her ass.

Every cuff brought her a little higher. Every restraint…

She was panting by the time he was done.

And then he walked away.

Not too far, but far enough that she ached with it. That the anticipation, as he patiently lit the fire pit, became unbearable. That when he finally looked at her again, the flames high and warm behind him, she actually moaned softly.

Oh God.

He studied her for a moment.

Then he came back, his eyes locked on hers, pulled her head back, and kissed her.

Rough. Hard. Deep.

His hands invaded every inch of her while the fire roared behind him, his fingers tracing gentle lines, then pinching. Squeezing, kneading, then slapping. Every change, every sensation, driving her higher, further and further away from the ability to worry about the future.

This was about giving her her release. This man knew exactly what he was doing.

This man…

Adra groaned as his hand settled between her legs, stroking her absently while he kept eye contact.

This man was the end of her.

“I’ve never used this ring before,” he said, his mouth hovering inches away from hers while his fingers stroked her the soaked fabric of her underwear. “I had it put it in just after I met you. I’ve always wanted to see you in it.”

Adra opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. There were fleeting thoughts of all the time they’d wasted, of all the nights she’d spent wanting him, of all—

And he put them all to bed with another kiss.

“I love you, Adra,” Ford said. “You are mine. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” she panted. “Oh God, yes.”

“Say it.”

Adra closed her eyes, and sighed as she felt the left strap of her dress pull to the side. It all seemed so clear when she was like this, bound, on the verge of subspace, her body thrumming with pleasure. It was all so simple it almost made her want to laugh.

“I’m yours,” Adra said. “Always have been.”

Then she opened her eyes.

“And you’re mine,” she said.

Ford paused, his eyes locked with hers. He smiled. Then he pulled a pocketknife out of his pocket and cut away her dress.

Adra gasped as it fell to the ground.

Ford let his fingers trail down her naked torso, dallying over her nipple, teasing down her abdomen, until he reached the thin fabric of her underwear. He never broke eye contact.

And then he cut her last remaining piece of clothing away.

“Mine,” he said.

That was when Adra started to slip away.

She loved that feeling. Loved it and knew it well, that moment when she started to fall up, somehow, into subspace. Only this time, it was different. This time, as she watched Ford go back to the cabana to retrieve a bag of toys, as she felt the warmth of the fire on her bare skin, as she simply waited to fall fully into submission…she did it all with her heart, too. It wasn’t locked off; it wasn’t hidden away so that her mind and body could go on a little temporary vacation.

It was all of her.

He had all of her.

And he knew it. He had her, and he loved her.

She knew because of the way he whispered to her as he dragged the tails of the flogger over her exposed skin. The things he murmured in her ear from behind as he penetrated her, briefly, with the handle and told her to hold it in place, one hand slapping her ass, the other holding her head still, his fingers in her mouth while she moaned. The way he never broke contact, not once, the way he orchestrated her every sensation, her every feeling, her every emotion. The way he knew when she was highest, when he’d filled her with so much sensation that she was ready to burst.

All of it, all of it made it impossible for her to be anything other than his. For her to keep even the last, most frightened parts of her safe and separate. He owned all of her. And when he’d shown her that, he released her legs, lifted them over his shoulders, looked her in the eye, and slid slowly into her.

“Mine,” he said again, and her head dropped forward to his while he moved inside her, waiting helplessly for the mind-obliterating orgasm that he’d built inside her.

She didn’t really have words for the rest.

He filled her, completely. He owned her, completely. He was hers, completely.

And for the first time in her life, Adra really let herself go.

She didn’t really come back to reality until he had taken her down and carried her, limp and exhausted, to the Jacuzzi. And she didn’t know how long they spent in the hot, bubbling salt water before she was cogent again. But she did know he refused to let go of her.

He had her in his arms, on his lap with her back to him, kind of floating, the way you do in a Jacuzzi. Adra laid her head on his shoulder and just let the aftershocks ripple through her, wondering if she’d ever really come down from this.

Probably not.

Definitely not, if he kept moving his hands over her thighs like that.

“Did you think I was done with you?” he said into her ear.