Her throat tightened. “You mean never?”
Ke’lar met her gaze and in his eyes she saw something of what this was costing him. “It would be best . . . not to.”
I have to do this. I have to get home. Emma needs me . . .
“Okay,” she said hoarsely. “Okay.”
She slipped the small pack he’d allowed her off her back. He handed her a small pouch of cleanser and she noticed that when he did he took care not to touch her. He kept his gaze from her as he entered the river water to wash too.
Water played over his body in the sunlight.
Summer swallowed hard and stripped her clothes off. The water was cold and she dunked herself into it and came up gasping.
“Are you all right?” he asked, his back to her.
She was suddenly reminded of the first night they met, of her washing in this same river but way upstream, worried that all he wanted was to get an eyeful.
But he wasn’t even looking at her now.
“Yeah.” She cleared her throat and poured some of the spicy-smelling cleanser into her palm. “It’s just freezing.”
“There will be hot baths at the clanhall,” he said apologetically. “And proper beds.”
But we won’t be sharing one.
She rubbed the cleanser between her hands and started washing her hair.
It’s not like he could come and live with her on Earth, for Christ’s sake! It’s not like she and Ke’lar and Emma could settle into some cute little cottage and be a family.
It was him or a little girl who had no one but her mother.
Summer would never wish her daughter away; that child had brought more joy and meaning to her life—even with all the struggles of being a single mom—than she could ever have imagined. But if by some chance she had never had Emma, if she didn’t have anything so precious back on Earth— Summer’s eyes were drawn to Ke’lar, to his muscled back, his back hair, his rippled brow in profile, his glowing eyes firmly turned away.
I’d stay with him. Oh, my God, I want to stay with him.
The realization held her frozen for an instant, thigh-deep in the chill water of an alien world, watching the dappled light of Hir’s suns play across his broad shoulders.
And going home means I’ll never see him again. I won’t even remember . . .
Summer couldn’t help but edge a little closer to Ke’lar when they encountered the first of his clanbrothers on the road. The men had been talking, laughing amongst themselves as they came from the direction of the enclosure, but they stopped, staring, as soon as they spotted her.
He called out to his fellow Erah, acknowledging each by name, as she and Ke’lar approached, but they didn’t return his warm greeting.
They had gone silent, their glowing eyes—in shades of blue from the palest gray to sapphire dark—fixed on her, their faces slack in astonishment.
“Who are you?” one of them asked Ke’lar without taking his eyes off her for an instant. She had the spooky feeling that he was weighing the idea of his chances of getting away with her swung over his shoulder. “What is your namesound?”
“This is Summerelizabethmills,” Ke’lar replied, making her first, middle, and last name into one long word.
Summer glanced at Ke’lar. She’d have to explain to him later how the three were really supposed to be distinct and why, but she sure didn’t feel like extending this meeting any longer by starting up some conversation.
“She cannot be yours!” one of the younger ones exclaimed suddenly. He took a step closer to sniff lightly. Ke’lar tensed at her side and the young man threw a startled look at him. “She does not bear your scent.”
Clearly the idea that he might be traveling with a human female he hadn’t already claimed was astounding. She could also see that it was starting to sink in to the clanbrothers that she might just be fair game.
Oh, this could get ugly fast . . .
“I’m Ar’ar’s mate,” she said, her voice strained. “From the uh, Betari clan.”
Apparently speaking just managed to rivet their attention back on her completely.
“What are you doing here?” one asked. He glanced at Ke’lar. “With our clanbrother?”
“She has come to speak to our clanfather,” Ke’lar said, putting his body between her and the men who seemed rooted to the spot and blocking their way.
“I have seen Ar’ar,” one of the men who had not yet spoken said. “He is a fierce warrior.” His azure eyes fixed on her and his full mouth curved a bit. “But to challenge him would be worth the price.”
“She is the honored mate of the Betari heir and our guest,” Ke’lar said sharply. “She is deserving of the hospitality of our clanhall and its comforts. You will not offer her insult by delaying our journey.” His voice lowered to a snarl. “Stand aside.”
The men were startled, but his outrage—and implied threat—got them to move so that Ke’lar and Summer could pass.