And then I abandoned it when Janson came calling.
I ground my teeth. I’d forgotten a lot of priorities when I saw him. When I got the opportunity to take what I wanted. Now I had it. I had him. He’d taken my virginity, and I never even told him. Nineteen and a virgin, I already felt like such a fool. If he’d known, he may not have gone through with it, and I wanted him so bad.
Truth be told, I still wanted the big barrel-chested man sleeping in the next room. f*ck
. I needed to get the hell away from here, away from him, and clear my head.
It was either that or crawl on top of him and demand round two of last night’s escapades.
I slipped out of the spare bedroom and down the hall to the living room. He’d left his wallet in a bowl by the door. I saw him put it there when he came in. If it was still there, I could probably grab enough cash for a cab and not have to take the bus. The subway didn’t go to Humboldt Park, and I wanted nothing to do with the bus. Or walking. It was too dangerous in the part where Moose’s row house was.
I spotted the wallet exactly where he left it and rifled through it, finding exactly what I needed. I took about half the cash in the billfold and stuck it in the pocket of the yoga pants before I headed out.
I thought to leave a note, but at the last moment I decided against it.
I didn’t even know if I was going to come back.
Janson
The peaceful sleep I’d felt faded away to the terror of a dream. My father and his cigars, burning them into my body. I reached for Kathryn, to hold her close to me and push away the dream, but she wasn’t there. Her body wasn’t there to keep me warm. I sat up like a shot, my eyes open, and looked around. Maybe she just scooched to the very end of the bed.
f*ck
. She wasn’t in the bedroom either.
“Kat? Kathryn?” I called out across the condo. No response. I got up and did a quick survey of the apartment. She was nowhere to be found.
Greyson warned me that it wouldn’t be so easy to keep her in the condo. He said she was spirited. f*ck
.
f*ck
. She was f*ck
ing gone. I’d checked the entire apartment top to bottom. I knew she’d taken off.
I f*ck
ing lost Greyson’s kid sister.
What was worse was that I f*ck
ed her. I’d taken her into my bed and I let her see me. All of me.
I was f*ck
ing dead and somehow, I didn’t care. I was glad about what I did, I had no regrets.
Ironic, wasn’t it? I thought. Greyson f*ck
ing destroyed my sister, but I touched his and I’d lose a finger for it. Or my cock.
I swallowed hard and grabbed my phone, checking the voicemails. Three from Greyson.
I knew if I didn’t call him back soon he was going to get impatient.
I grabbed my phone and dialed.
“How’s she doing?” he asked and I paused, long.
“She’s fine.” She was, at least the last time I saw her.
“She slipped you, didn’t she?” I could almost hear his ‘I told you so’ through the phone. What a f*ck
ing ass*ole
. At least he wasn’t pissed.
“You told me this wouldn’t be so easy.”
I could hear him chuckle in the background. I let out a small breath of relief. I never knew what he was going to f*ck
ing think. Especially since Joanna walked into his life and turned his world upside down.
I didn’t know what I thought of her; she brought out a softness in him that was dangerous. I’d seen it before—he had a clear weakness, one that could be exploited, and it would come back to haunt him. To haunt us. I couldn’t dismiss her completely, though, because he also had a protective fierceness that I knew he needed. Especially if he was going to run the family.
I could be coldhearted enough for us both.
“I’ll f*ck
ing get her and bring her back,” I said, the anger in my veins ready to burst.
“I told you, you might have to hogtie her.”
“I’ll do it if I have to, but we’ll try diplomacy first.”
If that didn’t work, I would f*ck
ing throw that shit right out the window.
***
“Where the f*ck
is she?” I asked, the throat of the kid I had against the wall so small under my hands. I could crush it easily. I’d done it to bigger men with little trouble.
But I had to show restraint. I didn’t want to involve my cousin, didn’t want to get his family up in my business. They knew I was here, and I promised I’d keep it quiet while I was in Chicago. Not to cause problems.
“Who?” he squeaked out. The boy squirmed under me and I swear to god, he was about to piss himself.
“Kathryn. Kat. New girl, older teenager, deep red hair, thin?” I said slowly, waiting for him to realize who I was talking about.
“Oh, the violin girl? The one Moose wants to bang?” He chuckled. He didn’t fully appreciate the situation. I squeezed that neck just a little harder, cutting off his breath in short bursts.
Motherf*ck
er. The rage that boiled through me was so much more personal. Unexpected.